e4u Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 So, yeah, I know she cheated. With incontrovertible proof. She doesn't know this yet. I will tell her soon. We just broke up. All ideas on how to do this, mundane and wacky, will be entertained. We already had the "let's just be friends" break-up talk, there's nothing left to salvage. But I do want her to know I know she's a whore and that this isn't all about me as she tried to make it out to be. Any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Well, what's the proof you have? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Why bother? You are hurt & want her to hurt too. I get that but there is no need for more drama. Again, I'll tel you what I said in her other thread: You need to give her a deadline by when she has to get out of your apartment. One day is probably not enough time, especially if she has a dog. I know you hate her right now but don't be mean to the dog. The dog didn't cheat on you. When you give her the deadline simply say that's it because you know she cheated. End of story. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 A wife whose husband cheated rented a billboard with a message on it... But yeah, I'd say sent her a little text with the info and then block her out of your life. Cheaters aren't really worth your while. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I would definitely throw it in her face and tell her the "friends" thing is off and you don't want to see her cheating face again as long as you live. Tell her if you see her you will give her a wide berth and you expect her to do the same. No contact - forever. No kids so no co-parenting - why not nuke the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 You are already broken up? What's the point? Go NC and stay NC. Why bring up something that is - at this point - irrelevant? She is no longer in your life. You are no longer in her life. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Setting her up for the big reveal actually sounds a bit bitchy and petty. If you were gonna share, it should have happened in conjunction w/the breakup. What did you break up over anyway if not the cheating? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 If you have already broken up she won;t care. She will think it is humorous that you are so troubled you had to do it. Should have been done when you broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) So, yeah, I know she cheated. ..... But I do want her to know I know she's a whore .... That's a really nasty attitude to take towards someone who just the other day, you would have taken a bullet for. Which proves to me that you are really unclear about what 'love' is. It's a nasty word, used in malice to describe someone's behaviour you are standing in judgement of. If you are this condemnatory, does it not occur to you that now, you are revealing a side of yourself to us, that is not altogether pleasant, which might add weight to why she felt comfortable cheating on you? Don't be a nasty person. Let it go, let it slide and let it ride. Edited July 11, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Irrelevant bull**** 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Why bring up something that is - at this point - irrelevant? She is no longer in your life. You are no longer in her life. I'm pretty sure they still live together because the EX-GF hasn't moved out yet. Getting her out has to be the 1st order of business. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Good god people, if telling her he knows will make him feel better LET HIM DO IT. Stop getting pissy because he called his cheating girlfriend a whore. He is being petty? Okay, if he needs to be petty to get over this massive betrayal then I saw be petty. To the OP: Yeah, let her know you know. This isn't even about letting her know she is a whore. This is about letting her know you know about her betrayal. In other words, this is about letting her know you know how utterly sh*tty a person she is. She cheated on you. That makes her a liar, cheater, untrustworthy and not girlfriend material. That does not make her a whore. I hate the easy way men use this word. No, it absolutely makes her a whore. She needed sex so badly she couldn't even end her relationship with one man before getting it. That is a whore. An example of someone who is not a whore would be a woman with the self control to end their relationship before they go screw other guys. Not all men use the term that easily, but it sure as hell applies in this specific situation. Nothing wrong with calling a spade a spade. That's a really nasty attitude to take towards someone who just the other day, you would have taken a bullet for. You know it is almost as if a massive betrayal can..change the way you feel about someone. Funny how you might see your girlfriend as a whore after she cheats on you. Crazy, right? Crazy to say a girl who can't wait to end a relationship before riding some other man is skanky? Also your "maybe this attitude is why she cheated" is a cop out. She didn't like his attitude? Leave him. If she is more comfortable banging other dudes then acting like a decent human being..then again, why is that not skanky? Why is there this weird thing with some women where any time the word whore is used, even if it totally applies, they pitch a fit? If this guy saw his girlfriend merely talking to another guy and called her a whore? Yeah, totally out of line. But over her having sex with another man? Really? Edited July 9, 2015 by Spectre 2 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Put all of her stuff out on the front lawn while she is at work, change the locks, and block her number. Never speak to her ever again. Let her wonder and sit with the shock. She treated you like garbage - dispose of her in the same way. Quickly, simply and without drama. Just throw it away and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Put all of her stuff out on the front lawn while she is at work, change the locks, and block her number.. Don't do this. Doing so is illegal in most states & she can sue you for any & all damage to her stuff. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Why bother? You are hurt & want her to hurt too. I get that but there is no need for more drama. Again, I'll tel you what I said in her other thread: You need to give her a deadline by when she has to get out of your apartment. One day is probably not enough time, especially if she has a dog. I know you hate her right now but don't be mean to the dog. The dog didn't cheat on you. When you give her the deadline simply say that's it because you know she cheated. End of story. and You are already broken up? What's the point? Go NC and stay NC. Why bring up something that is - at this point - irrelevant? She is no longer in your life. You are no longer in her life. Seriously why bother? At the moment you are hurting, you are sore, bitter and not in the right state of mind. You have broken up so your focus should be all the practical things involved with that then spending some time healing and looking after yourself. Sod what she thinks, sod her completely. You might feel better for 10 minutes but it will not last. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Here's what you can do: Call her family and tell them Post it on FB Send a message to all of her FB friends Tell her employer Tell your family Post her on a website Have complete strangers do all of the above FOR you I, of course, wouldn't actually recommend doing any of those things, as you are already broken up. But hey, other people just swear by the nobility of making sure everyone in town knows I would, however, probably let HER know I know. I'd probably send her something with some of the proof I had, saying "Just in case you don't think I know...good riddance" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 So, yeah, I know she cheated. With incontrovertible proof. She doesn't know this yet. I will tell her soon. We just broke up. All ideas on how to do this, mundane and wacky, will be entertained. We already had the "let's just be friends" break-up talk, there's nothing left to salvage. But I do want her to know I know she's a whore and that this isn't all about me as she tried to make it out to be. Any ideas? You should have told her as soon as you found out. My wife cheated. My 5 year old daughter spilled the beans by accident (out of the mouths of babes) I asked my wife, "Whose _ _ _ _? She got a look on her face like a deer in the head lights. She was gone that evening. See? Clear as milk. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I'm gonna go against the grain here. If you do not want to be called a bad name...do not behave that way. The OP is hurting. He doesn't need a lecture in Webster's unabridged. He needs advice on the actual topic - which is how (or if) to tell her he knows she cheated on him. I can't believe we're having dictionary wars. The woman betrayed him, and he is hurt. When people are hurt, they lash out sometimes. Maybe it isn't right, but t IS understandable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I think letting her know you know is kind of a moot point. But, if she let you believe that you were solely responsible for the demise of the relationship, then to let her know you actually know the truth would call her out on her BS. But, be prepared for one of the following. 1. She totally ignores you. 2. She tells you that other dude had nothing to do with your break up. 3. She wouldn't have cheated if you were worth a sh*t as a boyfriend. Blah...blah.... Dude, she'll either ignore you or still find a way to make it your fault. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I think a lot of people, especially men, cover their profound hurt with anger and sometimes what seems like vindictiveness. Heck, I'm a woman, and I admit that there are people who have hurt me about whom I have constructed elaborate revenge fantasies lol. I'd never actually do any of it, but sometimes venom helps give us backbone 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 (edited) I think a lot of people, especially men, cover their profound hurt with anger and sometimes what seems like vindictiveness. Heck, I'm a woman, and I admit that there are people who have hurt me about whom I have constructed elaborate revenge fantasies lol. I'd never actually do any of it, but sometimes venom helps give us backbone This hits the nail on the head. Right or wrong, men are raised to think expressing feelings in certain ways isn't manly. Has this been less extreme in the recent decades? Yes, but it still exists. So sometimes the only way someone processes such a huge huge betrayal is by lashing out. Men get pissed, they think about this person they trusted utterly betraying them and mounting some other dude and the images of that piss them off even more, and yeah..sometimes they, god forbid, call the cheater a nasty word. Such cretins, should learn to deal with horrible betrayal better, how dare they not do so in a manner that might offend the cheater, because they never do or say anything nasty to cheating guys or about cheating guys. Nothing but kind words and when the words aren't kind obviously other females rally and put them in their place for daring to express their hurt in such a way. It is true people can comment on any aspect of his post they want, but it speaks volumes over the fact that is the part they honed in on. Again: even haphazardly trying to blame him for this. I don't blame a woman who falls under the label of the word for still being offended by it, even if it fits. People do not like to be called on their shady behavior. That is not just a female thing. But I'd find it weird to see a cheater get super pissed off over being called that. Or I'd at least expect that such a person would, deep down, truly be upset over the ugly truth being said outloud. I find it especially weird if the guy they are getting upset over is the one who got cheated on. This will make some disagree but: he's earned it. He's earned the right to be angry, he's earned the right to lash out as long as nobody gets hurt if that is what helps him get over this. Doesn't mean it's not possible for him to take it way too far, but calling his cheating girlfriend a whore really doesn't apply. Plus lets be real: if this woman is shady enough and has such little respect for him she cheats? She isn't going to care what he says because she flat out doesn't care about him at all. In her mind she'll probably just use it as an excuse to claim the guy was verbally abusive to her. Edited July 10, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Dude she broke up with you because she had another guy. Yeah she might have screwed him before she pulled the plug on your relationship, but at least she broke it off with you rather than perpetuate the lying. She's dishonest, deceptive, cowardly, and showed a complete disregard for your health by putting you at risk for possible STDs, but that doesn't make her a whore. Let it go, let HER go, and go live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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