tips & tricks to push yourself?

[d0nnivain]

Like many people when I'm depressed I don't have the mental or physical energy to do much of anything. But I understand that movement, engaging the world, heck even getting out of bed to to anything is the best cure.

 

My Q to LS is how do you go about taking those 1st steps when you feel like you just can't? What motivates you? How do you push past the fear? How do you overcome the slothfulness?

[Yummm]

There is no overcoming, it's just the initial steps which are the hardest, but once you're in something and seeing results it gets easier.

 

For example going to the gym:

 

If you have a GOAL in mind, not just want to go to the gym for the sake of going, you will definitely be more inclined to go... The first steps in getting there after work are hard, you feel lethargic and just don't want to move, but once you're there, work hard and start seeing results you feel a sense of achievement.

 

Same with anything, depression wants you to just sit in the corner and not move, just force yourself to do the initial move and then it gets easier.

 

In my opinion nothing anybody can say will help you move, you just need to push yourself. Perhaps give yourself an ultimatum? Say: 'If i don't do this, I can't get this' etc

[d0nnivain]

If I had the ability to push myself without help I would not have asked the q but thank you for taking the time to reply.

[candie13]

The answer is two folded: even more fear and pleasure.

 

A few years ago I've had a rather severe depressive episode and it scared the sh*t out of me. I was really scared and alone and fog was little by little surrounding my head and my reality. I won't get into the details as its gruesome, but I remember distinctly that feeling, that is the scariest memory I ever had.

 

A. I use fear

So when I feel I am slipping, I get that snapshot in my head. This is how I use my fear. I use it to scare the hell out of me. I lack energy, but fear of that vivid pain is so strong that it does the trick for me. It takes me a while, but I eventually put my sneakers on and go for a run. The world looks differently after a good run. When I am in what I call "the zone", I set up my rule of three: three activities I must do everyday.

 

These activities are:

 

1. 20 min of awareness mediation (I use an app called Headspace which works really well for me - especially the series focusing on how to manage my anxiety)

 

2. a 30 min run. I don't always manage to do it, sometimes I am only able to run 5 or 10 min, but I walk, get out of the house, listen to some music and push myself to run for 30 seconds more

 

3. I make myself do one thing that I really like and I take my time doing it. Making my favorite coffee, having a bubble bath, having a glass of wine to unwind in my fave coffee, allowing myself 30 min to read a book of my choice, listening to a Ted talk, going to a Reiki class, doing some yoga... For other people, the simple fact of getting in touch with friends helps a lot. Creating connection fights against feeling disconnected.

 

this brings me to pleasure...

 

B. I use pleasure

 

i make myself do something that i really love, regularly. I take weekly pottery classes or dancing classes (dancing brings me a lot of pleasure). Getting out of the house is the hardest part, but I eventually do it.

 

C. I use my rationale

When I am about to slip into depression, it is hard for me to master my train of thoughts. I go on negative spins, ruminate, go around in circles. So I do one of the below:

 

1. - I listen to Ted Talks. it's easier, as I only have to listen. The speakers are usually very good and captivating, so I go with the topic, eventually and my mind stops turning.

 

There are some wonderful Ted Talks about different themes that I find soothing - from how to deal with regrets to how to create artificial happiness, etc etc - I've started with the 20 most popular ted talks and taken it from there.

 

2. I read about depression. Books about how it functions, studies about how it affects people. Studies about how to fight it. You need to know your enemy, to understand how it works, if you want to win the battle.

 

3. I take a few appointments with my therapist. She helps me get back on my feet. She reminds me what I miss, what I like. Allows me to see if I am genuinely sad or if it's something else, like the depression coming back.

 

hope these help. Don't hesitate to talk about this with people in real life. I find that I had asked for helped way too late, after depression had already settled in. I was already worn out and needed a whole lot more energy to get out of it, which is a pity, really.

 

The hardest part, when it comes to depression, is to learn not to trust yourself. Because you think you are fine, but you're not. You're slipping further and further away. So setting milestones along the bottom is what needs to be done. Stages and red flags. And associate each red flag with a set of action that you must do, no matter what.

 

That's how I handle it, anyway. I've fallen pretty deep once, but it allowed me to know myself and mark my way out.

 

hope it helps.

[Satu]

I think its best to begin with simple things that are easy to achieve, like choosing a new recipe and cooking it. Nothing complicated, just something nice.

 

You could arrange some flowers.

 

Anything simple, easy, and wholesome is good.

[Tayla]

donnivain, may I ask if this is in tune with the sunday blues ( just coming down or around from high energy week) or real down in the dumps ? Sometimes Knowing which one it is, can be the turning point. Listening to your body signs... is a start. Learn when to relax and get that rest ... or when to bring yourself up to your balanced self. What are some methods you have tried?

[xxoo]

I use a reward system. I'll have that cup of coffee after I do that one thing that I need to do and haven't managed to get done. I'll indulge in LS after I do that other thing, but not before.

 

Go for a walk outside. Walking is therapeutic. Then: reward. Crawl back into bed, if that's what you want.

[writergal]

d0nnivain -

 

I spend 30 minutes to an hour not LoveShacking (ha!) to go outside and either sit or go for a walk and just not think about anything for that time period.

 

I also try not to worry about what I can't control, and only worry about what I can. That helps me keep everything in perspective.

 

If you know what your triggers are that keep you depressed and unable to get out of bed, then avoid those triggers whatever they are.

 

Choose one thing that makes you happy and do that every day (it doesn't have to cost any money either). Just one thing.

 

Also, journaling helps.

 

Hope you feel better.

[loveweary11]

Like many people when I'm depressed I don't have the mental or physical energy to do much of anything. But I understand that movement, engaging the world, heck even getting out of bed to to anything is the best cure.

 

My Q to LS is how do you go about taking those 1st steps when you feel like you just can't? What motivates you? How do you push past the fear? How do you overcome the slothfulness?

 

If you have depression that isn't transitory, you'll want to address that itself. Once you get a handle on it, you'll naturally get excited to do all these things you are talking about.

 

One good approach for mild to moderate depression, without getting into SSRIs and stuff, is to drink St John's Wort tea. I'm not easily depressed, but can get depressed when I feel I failed at something. I was really depressed when my ex had me try a cup. Was insane how fast it turned my head around.

 

It's a brain chemistry issue. You've got to fix the imbalance causing you to be depressed. Then, your whole life will open right back up.

 

And those winters in new England will set anyone back!

[writergal]

If you have depression that isn't transitory, you'll want to address that itself. Once you get a handle on it, you'll naturally get excited to do all these things you are talking about.

 

One good approach for mild to moderate depression, without getting into SSRIs and stuff, is to drink St John's Wort tea. I'm not easily depressed, but can get depressed when I feel I failed at something. I was really depressed when my ex had me try a cup. Was insane how fast it turned my head around.

 

It's a brain chemistry issue. You've got to fix the imbalance causing you to be depressed. Then, your whole life will open right back up.

 

Valerian root tea and Chamomile tea are also very calming teas. Exercise really helps depression too, b/c it boosts endorphins.

[loveweary11]

Valerian root tea and Chamomile tea are also very calming teas. Exercise really helps depression too, b/c it boosts endorphins.

 

Definitely. I forget what Valerian root does. I remember it wasn't the effect my exneeded when she was trying it once.

 

Exercise is awesome for depression.

 

The St John's wort just quickly changes your brain chemistry around. Removes depression in like half an hour.

 

I was always a skeptic about these herbal things. I tried them laughing, until I actually felt them.,

[writergal]

Oh, I just remembered, I watch my favorite old movies, like

because it cheers me up.

[writergal]

Definitely. I forget what Valerian root does. I remember it wasn't the effect my exneeded when she was trying it once.

 

Exercise is awesome for depression.

 

The St John's wort just quickly changes your brain chemistry around. Removes depression in like half an hour.

 

I was always a skeptic about these herbal things. I tried them laughing, until I actually felt them.,

 

Yep. I always go to Valerian root tea, Lemon Tea, Mint Tea, or Chamomile Tea to soothe my tummy or my nerves and help me sleep. Herbs rock!!

 

Yeah, exercise is awesome for depression, even just a brisk walk on a paved path through the woods is good for the soul. When I lived in China and caught bacterial pneumonia, I got really depressed until I started drinking an herbal concoction made for me that helped me breathe and sleep better.

 

Chinese doctors know their stuff! Acupuncture can also help depression and many health insurances will cover that treatment but you need to ask your doctor for a referral to get it covered.

[Krieger]

 

 

Pee Wee Herman - Tequila

 

 

[Lizrd3000]

I can relate alot, I'll share what I do to make the first steps out of the house after wandering around for a good few hours and doing nothing.

 

I tell myself how angry I'll become at myself, and how worthless I'll feel if I don't do the thing I should be doing (Which is the gym, usually).

I've created a big fear of falling into bad habits and not going to the gym anymore.

 

I don't know if it's a healthy way of getting things done, but it gets things done.

 

I never want to go backwards, only forward. Going backwards feels so depressing that I'd rather die, not much of an exeggeration really.

[angel.eyes]

Like many people when I'm depressed I don't have the mental or physical energy to do much of anything. But I understand that movement, engaging the world, heck even getting out of bed to to anything is the best cure.

 

My Q to LS is how do you go about taking those 1st steps when you feel like you just can't? What motivates you? How do you push past the fear? How do you overcome the slothfulness?

 

Several things:

• Schedules: make things a mindless habit that can't be easily cancelled
  
• Accountability: involve others
  
• Environment: make it easy for yourself to do. Structure things so that not doing your goal is harder than just doing it.
  
• Reward: Try to find some way to make it fun, i.e. something that you will want to do even when you want to do absolutely nothing.
  
• Stick: have a negative consequence for not doing something. I mention this, but honestly I don't think sticks are effective. If they were, most people wouldn't fail at their goals. (We don't like the status quo and want to change/improve on it...yet for many that never does.)
  

 

Someone mentioned exercise, so let's go with that. I have a goal of exercising at least one hour every day. Sounds simple enough. But try sticking to that year, after year, through busy schedules, holidays, work travel, deaths in the family, breakups that make you want to crawl permanently into bed with your friends, Ben and Jerry, new boyfriends, etc.

 

I place myself on a schedule and make myself accountable to others. Among other things, I captain a tennis team in my local league and I lead hikes. Once you involve others, it's no longer just about willpower. It's about making it a mindless habit, making commitments, being dependable, saving face, maintaining your relationships, and much more. Depending on willpower alone will eventually fail you. So, set yourself up for success even when willpower might not be an option.

 

Anyway, I'm off to my tennis match. My team gets penalized if I'm late!

Edited July 9, 2015 by angel.eyes

[Gloria25]

Sorry to hear you're having the blues....

 

On top of what others said (goals, moving around, etc), sometimes for me it's a matter of "just doing it".

 

I mean, sometimes I do not wanna get up. I lie there in the bed and literally pull the covers over my head. I just get to the point where lying around just feels worse than the actual issue that is bothering me.

 

It's funny how getting up is the hardest part, but once you start moving around you're like "ok, now why was I moping around?"

 

My fav podcaster was commenting on a real story about a marathon lady from Africa. Her sugar got low and she fell down. She refused a wheelchair cuz it would disqualify her. She literally crawled on bloody hands and knees to the finish line and still made 3rd place. She days she could not recall doing it, she only recalls falling down.

 

See, I've been in times of stress (ie military stuff, home invasion, etc) and like the African lady, sometimes you have to switch into autopilot...you just keep on moving and don't ponder how it feels, etc and you'll be surprised how actions drive you into accomplishing things you never thought you could and can put you past your feelings.

 

So, turn on the autopilot...just keep on "doing" and hopefully you'll feel better.

 

For giggles, I sometimes rely on my "Drill Sergeant in a Box" to get me through at times. I kid you not. Years ago on Talk Soup they had a skit about it and that's how I am. I literally, in my head, am yelling at myself like I'm my own drill sergeant. Funny, I did want to be one at one time, but was scared I'd be too hard on them. In the Army when I had to judge on the PT test, no one would come to my line cuz I was very strict. It's also freakin' weird my recent crush appears to have a thing for being yelled at by a female drill sergeant ....Every day I seems I find out we have a lot in common and seem to be a "fit" for each other (if you will)

Edited July 9, 2015 by Gloria25

[camillalev]

Definitely. I forget what Valerian root does. I remember it wasn't the effect my exneeded when she was trying it once.

 

Exercise is awesome for depression.

 

The St John's wort just quickly changes your brain chemistry around. Removes depression in like half an hour.

 

I was always a skeptic about these herbal things. I tried them laughing, until I actually felt them.,

 

What brand of at johns wort did you use?

[loveweary11]

What brand of at johns wort did you use?

 

I think it was this brand, bought at Whole Foods:

 

St. John's Wort Tea 24 tea bags, Alvita Tea | VitaSprings.com

 

 

Many quality tea sellers have it.

 

https://www.pricefalls.com/product/alvita-tea-organic-st-johns-wort-herbal-24-tea-bags/30678642?source=GoogleShopping&medium=cpc&term=PLA-SC&content=18283950120&campaign=PFCollection-sc&adpos=1o9&creative=44043674671&device=t&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CJC_jcS7z8YCFZMWHwoduyIOKQ

 

 

Organic St. John's Wort Herb Tea

 

 

From the Mayo Clinic.....

 

Extracts of Hypericum perforatum L. (St. John's wort) have been recommended traditionally for a wide range of medical conditions. The most common modern-day use of St. John's wort is for depression. Studies have shown St. John's wort may be equally effective as tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants for mild to moderate depression.

 

Overall, the evidence suggests St. John's wort may be effective for in mild-to-moderate depression. The evidence for severe depression remains unclear.

[54JA]

Easy, achievable, and quantifiable goals mixed with rewards:

 

Set timer for 1-20 minutes: This worked for me both as a student and a professional. Whenever I had a project due and found myself procrastinating, I set a timer and told myself "I would work for ___ min, then watch Netflix for ___ min (or whatever you like to do)," and repeated the cycle. When I was really struggling with motivation, the time was as little as one minute. Although I allowed myself access to rewards each time I achieved my goal (e.g., 5 minutes of work), hearing the timer go off also served as a reinforcer. I found that the shorter/achievable the time goal was, the more I persisted (i.e., the total amount of work time was longer). Also, I found it really helpful to write down the amount of time spent working each time and add them up at the end.

 

Breaking down tasks into smaller bits: Whether I am trying to tackle a massive pile of mails to sort or cleaning the house, I will only take on a small amount in the beginning (e.g., shred 3 papers then stop; get out the vacuum then stop, etc). This is typically enough for me to get started.

[d0nnivain]

Thank you all for the concrete suggestions.

 

 

This is more than the blues & a soothing cup of tea is not going to help me tackle my to do list. But I will try some of that to see if it at least lowers my heart rate to a point where I can move forward.

 

 

I met with a professional organizer yesterday to deal with the clutter in my house. Right now the messy environment is an outward manifestation of my inner turmoil.

[loveweary11]

Thank you all for the concrete suggestions.

 

 

This is more than the blues & a soothing cup of tea is not going to help me tackle my to do list. But I will try some of that to see if it at least lowers my heart rate to a point where I can move forward.

 

 

I met with a professional organizer yesterday to deal with the clutter in my house. Right now the messy environment is an outward manifestation of my inner turmoil.

That's not a "soothing cup of tea."

 

It's a drug, like Zoloft or Celexa or whatever. It's just found in nature and made into a tea so you have a pleasant experience taking it. The only ingredient in St Johns Wort "tea" is the St Johns Wort plant. It is also available in pill form.

 

Remember... aspirin is just salicylic acid and could be taken by making a tea of Willow Bark and drinking that. This is the same thing. An actual anti depressant in the Hypericum perforatum plant.

 

It is known, even by western medicine (as quoted from the mayo clinic) to fix mild to moderate depression.

 

It works in 20-30 minutes. And the beauty of it is unlike SSRIs, you aren't on it all the time. It doesn't change your personality or lower your sex drive. You only take the St John's Wort when you feel bad...and it fixes that.

 

If it doesn't work for you... you should look into the stronger stuff like Zoloft.

 

Depression is simply a brain chemistry problem that can be fixed very easily. There is no reason to suffer through it.

 

 

 

However.... you mentioned lowering your heart rate???

 

Depressed people do not have rapid heart rates. That's anxiety. Are you sure of what you re dealing with? You need entirely different help for dealing with anxiety.

 

 

 

Ahhh... the advantages of having an ex with severe mentral health problems.. lol

Edited July 10, 2015 by loveweary11

[writergal]

Thank you all for the concrete suggestions.

 

 

This is more than the blues & a soothing cup of tea is not going to help me tackle my to do list. But I will try some of that to see if it at least lowers my heart rate to a point where I can move forward.

 

 

I met with a professional organizer yesterday to deal with the clutter in my house. Right now the messy environment is an outward manifestation of my inner turmoil.

 

That was very pro-active of you. A great first step towards dealing with the clutter in your house. Did she offer to re-organize your house for you? Are you going to get rid of any of that clutter or just re-arrange it?

 

You can also call your local charities to do a curbside pick-up of anything you don't really need that you can donate and get a donation tax benefit receipt. So there are a lot of positives that can result from the way you confront all of that house clutter. Could empower you.

 

I agree that it is an external manifestation of your inner turmoil. Whatever is causing your inner turmoil can be dealt with by the organizer and also by a good therapist. Do you already see a therapist? Maybe a cognitive therapist would be helpful, because cognitive therapy is very self-actualizing.

[loveweary11]

^^^^^ cbt is very helpful

[Justanaverageguy]

I met with a professional organizer yesterday to deal with the clutter in my house. Right now the messy environment is an outward manifestation of my inner turmoil.

 

A professional organizer is nice .... but you know what a better use of that time is ? Actually organizing your office The below passage is taken from a book I like - sounds like it could be helpful to get you started both with the cleaning and also with what ever you are confused about that is causing you turmoil.

 

You are sitting at your desk - either at home or at work - and the phone rings. The caller asks you to write down his number. You apologise: “Just a minute while I find something to write with.” Searching for a pencil, you start rotating stacks of junk around your desk ... piles of medical receipts, airline tickets, insurance policies, pizza cartons, nose drops, coffee cups and old newspapers. “Sorry to keep you waiting, there’s a pencil here somewhere ...” You plough into the drawers amongst torch batteries, tooth picks, golf tees, weight loss brochures, wedding photos, loose change from Hong Kong, a kid’s crayon. A crayon! You scribble the number in lemon yellow and hang up.

 

You think to yourself: “Now that I’ve found those insurance policies, I’ll put them into a folder.” Then you file the airline tickets under “travel” and the coffee cups in the dishwasher. Before you know it, you’re on a roll ... erasers into the top drawer, telephone books onto the shelf, pizza cartons into the bin. You even wipe the chocolate caramel off the telephone. “A man of knowledge lives by acting, not thinking about acting.” Carlos Casteneda “You can’t build a reputation on what you’re GOING to do.” Henry Ford Suddenly you have a vision ... “I could have a tidy office.” You feel a surge in your chest and you begin to plan: “I’m going to make fresh files with colour coded labels, I’ll have a special jar for ball-points. I’ll even empty my waste basket every week!”

 

Now you’re on a mission that’s bigger than writing utensils. You’re creating the world’s cleanest workspace! By midnight you’ve found a dozen pencils, but does it matter? No! You’re having too much fun with the vacuum cleaner. This is the office cleaning principle, and it applies to writing reports, digging ditches, doing your tax, washing the car. You get excited about doing things after you start. You take the plunge, and then you feel the energy and excitement.

 

We often make the mistake of saying: “When I get the energy, I’ll begin jogging every morning!” No! You start first. “When I feel more enthusiastic, I’ll do my homework.” Wrong. “When I get the energy, I’ll start my own little business!” No! You get the energy and the enthusiasm for the job after you begin. You get the energy as a result of your involvement. The secret is to make a start.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Justanaverageguy