Confusedatxmas Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 So this coworker I thought was totally throwing me signs I feel has totally rejected me today. I guess I was wanting other people's thoughts and confirmation. When I say signs, she initiates our convos, touches my hand and arms when we talk, in fact she tries touching me when it's not called for, if we are stood still she presses her body against mine, I'd catch her looking at me, she asks me out to lunch loads, wants me to go on her cigarette breaks. She has in the past brought up that she didn't know if she was straight or gay and that it was about the person. I should mention we are both women and she knows I am a lesbian. So today she was like lets go lunch Friday and I was like cool and then said my flat Mate is away next week come over one day. She thought about it and I was like it's ok if you don't want to. She said she couldn't cos she was at work, I said "no I mean after work". She said no she couldn't then changed it to maybe and then said all of us could go. I was thinking ah ok she is not interested and said yeah I was going to invite (and I said the other girls name but I won't put it on here) but I was going to ask her when she was back in the office next week. I'm hoping I saved face there. So yeah I feel like this is her definitely saying she is not interested? She doesn't behave like this around the others so I am guessing she feels comfortable with me as a friend? She does have 2 kids but I'm guessing if she really wanted to come then she could of got a baby sitter... Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 It sounds like she's just what she said she is - unsure. I'm sure that as a lesbian (I'm bi so I know it all too well myself) you know that interpersonal stuff - especially romance - can have special challenges. It's not just dating or romance but understanding our sexuality and accepting it and being ok with it really being out there. I wouldn't think it's a lost cause at any rate. In fact, I'd suggest coming clean w/her and saying you really didn't intend for the other coworker to be there and you were hoping just you and her could hang out. Be bold - that's where you'll find the rewards in life! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedatxmas Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hey Jen thanks. I guess I would be scared to come clean. The More I think about it, the more it scares me, she is so different from day to day. Like the lead up to me asking her to come to mine was because she kept saying oh we live close we could go shopping together or 'it's your birthday soon so let's do something' and now she has done this I feel like I really don't trust to say anything as I don't get why she says these things to me if she doesn't mean it. I get what you are saying about accepting sexuality and I guess this is why she changes so much with the stuff she said. Maybe I really caught her off guard too. I guess I'm just a little hurt right now cos she always goes out of her way to spend more time with me than anyone at work and yet I know she hangs out with other coworkers after work so I'm just hurt and confused by her saying no ? Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Aw, cuddles. If it's any consolation, the reason is probably that you're in a 'special' category and the others are just harmless. That means you may have a line into her heart. I understand your reluctance to come clean, but that would be one way to put all the uncertainty aside. You'd take the bull by the horns and put the matter to rest if she's not going to, bc one way or another you'd have your answer. Another option is to just dial up the flirting on your end. That's probably what I'd do - beat her at her own game and get her to the point where she's falling all over herself to ask you out. Link to post Share on other sites
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