Bibizoe71 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Hello - So on June 22, 2015 I ended my affair after 3 years. Although we work together (different areas) he walks around so pompass (sp) Like its just another day. Ita so frustrating to think he's just living his married Life happily (I didn't tell his wife anything) while I am trying to pick up the Pieces of my life. Like others that have pistes this is my first and last affair... EVER!! Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Get a new job. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Get a new job. Can't better this advice. (And it's 'pompous'..... ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I agree - remove yourself from that work place. And in your future don't fish in the company pond. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I agree with removing yourself from the situation, if possible. Continuing to work there is a slippery slope that exhausts you of your emotions on a daily basis. Believe me, I've been doing it and am close to getting out. Nothing in this world right now excites me more. Just remember that appearances aren't everything. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 The answer is simple: They do not care about you or your aftermath. If you abandon a dog on the curbside and come back a few weeks later and it is rotting flesh and mouth agape in death, flies eating off it and laying eggs...there is no way to fool yourself that you ever cared. The dog obviously cannot any more. This is how I cope and think, negative and iron clad...it may help you or it may not. I do not reminisce beautiful things or hopeful things toward a person who was poison in my life. He simply does not care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hello - So on June 22, 2015 I ended my affair after 3 years. Although we work together (different areas) he walks around so pompass (sp) Like its just another day. Ita so frustrating to think he's just living his married Life happily (I didn't tell his wife anything) while I am trying to pick up the Pieces of my life. Like others that have pistes this is my first and last affair... EVER!! Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated Good for you for ending the affair! Who cares if he's acting all full of it at work. Maybe it's bothering him inside but he'll never ever show that emotion to you so he's sucking it up and acting like everything is fine. It doesn't matter because he is NOT in your life anymore. I suggest, like the others, get another job. Or ask for a transfer if possible to another location if the job allows it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Ita so frustrating to think he's just living his married Life happily (I didn't tell his wife anything) while I am trying to pick up the Pieces of my life. Actually, it's rather routine for one person to handle a break-up better than the other. That this was with a married and not a single person, is neither here nor there, about it. I'd suggest to just do your darndest to maintain your own dignity and professionalism at work. That may be all that he's doing; or he may actually be perfectly fine and happy where he is, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and "in life". But. None of what's going on for or within him ought influence - or manipulate, or control - how you act/react to him, at work or anywhere else. You're someone recovering from a break-up. Take good care of yourself, and nevermind anyone else...including him. Especially, don't let him see you sweat (to paraphrase some old TV ad...for deodorant, perhaps?) ALL break-ups suck, and most often more for one than the other. Hugs, and best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Justme19 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I had a 3 yr affair with someone from my work. When I realized after all the proclaimed professions of love and making a life together were really empty and he was staying with his BS- I decided we were done. Every day I went into the office I had to see him. He was smooth, acted as a friend, and treated me like we agreed during the affair. Just friends. It was much harder on me than him- I am sure. It doesn't mean he didn't suffer or think about what we had. I had to leave. I believed in him and realized at some point it was simply just an affair for him. For me- I fell, hook-line-sinker. When he chose to stay with his BS (who knew about me) I knew it would either be me agreeing to a life with someone that led 2 lives or me choosing to be respectful of myself and moving on. Until I found another (better!) job, it was tough just knowing I would run into him. It sucked. It also helped me figure out after much time that he was comfortable with the situation and he would do what he needed to do to keep his paycheck coming. So-there are better things ahead if you know your place and your worth. I left very amicably, head held high. Each day helps not seeing or hearing from him. There's a real truth to NC. I wish you much luck and strength!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 isn't this how it usually plays out for a MM in a workplace affair. i read in your previous threads that you actually moved to take a position to be closer to him... ugh. the only way to truly put this behind you is to get another job. unless you're willing to do this, you're pretty much stuck with daily reminders of the biggest mistake in your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hes a jerk- you are not- you win- Stay strong- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 You have already made headway by stating that you will never have another affair with a married man. If you cannot switch jobs, you are going to just have to accept that your affair to him was na outlet and to you it was more. That is the way it usually works and you know that now. Screw the way he walks around. If you accept that you at any time had the choice to stop it and work on yourself so that it truly does not ever happen again, it will not matter what he does. Not sure what your job is but I would not let his presence automatically drive me out of a job I like and make a decent living at. Then he really wins if you want to call it that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SolG Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (And it's 'pompous'..... ) I don't know Tara. I kinda like the look of it as 'pomp-ass'. It could catch on 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bibizoe71 Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Thank you all for responding to my message, I appreciate the feedback and will work on my spelling error in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 People often behave the exact opposite of how they feel. His pompous behavior is feigned confidence. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 People often behave the exact opposite of how they feel. His pompous behavior is feigned confidence. Fake it until you make it- 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I like "pompass", because they are asses! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Thank you all for responding to my message, I appreciate the feedback and will work on my spelling error in the future. Do not apologise, it was the most apt spelling error I have seen in a long time. You will get through this. Job hunting NOW. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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