a question to the women

[Bobby Dygytul]

i was reading the post down below from Nicole "do i tell?" and was just wondering something. I have seen this exact same things happen to several ladies. About 2 years ago it happened to me also. I was with a girl for 2 years and she was a virgin also. She told me that she was in love with me and that she wanted me to be her first. Well she dumped me one day and like several weeks later i find out that after she broke up with me, she went out and had her virginity taken by some guy she didn't even hardly know. He of course dumped her the next day (hehehehehhehe). But why do girls do things like that? That pissed me off beyond any other anger that has ever boiled my temper. I notice that it happens frequently. It really lowers the guys self esteam. It usually makes the guy so mad at the girl, that he will never forgive her and will always hold a grudge against her. I was just curious.

[Tony T]

I know you requested a woman's view but I have a theory or two about this for your consideration.

 

Even though losing one's virginity is extremely sensitive and an emotional volatile time for most people, there are some women who have very adventurous spirits. It is more exciting to them for this to happen impulsively with a stranger than to be planned or to be done with someone they know well.

 

Some people would just as soon get this minor detail over with quickly and they really don't care just how it takes place.

 

Some guys are superior salesmen and make it a contest out of talking girls out of their virginity. The very vulnerable ones succumb easily. Others may have a tremendous beef against their boyfriend...and lose their virginity with someone else as a grudge.

 

Still others don't want to emotional attachment and memories that go with losing their virginity with a guy they really care about. If it happens with a stranger they will never see or hear from again, instead of a precious moment, it just becomes a non-event...sort of like popping a zit.

 

Even greater a possiblity, many ladies are embarassed to lose their virginity with a man who has been around and is experienced. It sort of puts them on unequal footing...in their minds. So it's easier to have some stud they will never see or hear from again take it away in one impulsive moment. Then they can be comfortable that they are on the same level with a man they love who's been around the block a few times.

 

These are only theories and I know they sound a bit weird but people are weird.

[Miss Mojo]

hi bobby,

 

i guess there is no straightforward answer to something like this. everybody thinks differently and acts on their thoughts in ways that others wouldn't, but i can only think of a couple of reasons a girl would do something like that:

 

1. losing your virginity can be very embarrassing for some people for the simple reason you've never done it before and you basically have no idea how to do it, what to do or what to expect. to lose it to someone you don't know sometimes makes it easier for a girl when she becomes involved with someone she loves. she doesn't have that embarrassment of "oh my god, what do i do and how??". i know girls who have lost their virginity to someone special and felt embarrassed afterwards. and having to face their boyfriend after being in a situation of not knowing what to do is not comfortable for them. they don't want their first time with someone they love to be awkward and embarrassing. they want to know what they are doing and feel at ease with this person they love.

 

i can understand that point of view because i have known girls in this situation. but personally, i think losing your virginity - as weird and embarrassing it might be - is so much better when you are comfortable with a person you know.

 

2. some girls aren't really phased if they lose their virginity to a guy they don't care about. some girls are curious, some girls are just hell bent on losing their virginity.

 

but i really feel that either way, it's a very personal decision to make and one that you can't take back. but i also think that when you are in a loving relationship, it doesn't matter why someone decided to lose their virginity when they did and with whom. i know my ex lost his because he just wanted to, and it didn't phase me in the slightest. he didn't love the girl, he was just hell bent on losing it. but i didn't care at all because we weren't together then and it was his decision and one that he didn't regret.

 

i hope i have given you some insight here bobby. as i said, everyone is different. the only time i'd eat myself up over something like this is if a partner lost their virginity to someone while we were together. i'd be damn stark raving maaaaad!!!!