Palmeiras Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 (edited) Phoe here is a simple rule. Men like the following: 1. What they perceive is out of their league. 2. What other men want. 3. What gets them hard. Become THAT girl and you'll be fine. This is not true for men who can think for themselves. More generally, it is not true for any human with a genuine understanding of this reality. The problem is, people with the proper insight are few and far between. So maybe the above generalizations about men are correct. That being said, there are those out there who aren't subject to these warped and superficial triggers of desire. (Edit: I will confess that physical attraction does play a part for almost everyone, so there is some truth to #3. But to boil it down to only that, accompanied by #1 and #2? That's madness. Or at least it should be.) Edited July 10, 2015 by Palmeiras 1
Brigit_1 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 =/ While I'm sure there's a certain amount of validity to this, it seems to be very narrowly focused... As if any individual qualities a woman may have are meant to be made obsolete, and all that matters is that she becomes "XYZ" If I cannot make those 3 rules happen, I have failed? Seems far too absolute. And there are never absolutes! I was just giving you a bit of insight into how men think or from what they have confided in me on what men like and want in a mate. Not every man is the same so I'm sure there are exceptions. 1
Brigit_1 Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 This is not true for men who can think for themselves. More generally, it is not true for any human with a genuine understanding of this reality. The problem is, people with the proper insight are few and far between. So maybe the above generalizations about men are correct. That being said, there are those out there who aren't subject to these warped and superficial triggers of desire. (Edit: I will confess that physical attraction does play a part for almost everyone, so there is some truth to #3. But to boil it down to only that, accompanied by #1 and #2? That's madness. Or at least it should be.) True enough. There are always exceptions. I'm going by my experience and from what I've heard and observed.
hotpotato Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 I don't know if I'm just venting here, but here goes... I've read the "Rules", "Rules II", 'Why Men Love Bychs', "He's Just Not that Into you", 'How to think like a man', 'Men are from Mars, Women Venus', etc... But, for the life of me, I just can't put that into practice when it comes to dating. I seriously think I'm a "book smart" nerd/geek and have no "street smarts"... What you see is what you get with me. I can't hold off having sex in hopes you think I'm Virgin Mary and/or a "decent" chick . Why should I hold off calling you the next day after a date to see if you had a good time? If I cook for you on the 2nd date does that mean I'm smothering you? Arrrrgghhh!!! But, fact is that's how the world works...you gotta "play the game" Even at work for years I've been told that - but that's not how I roll. I go in, do my work (to levels above my peers), but cuz I don't brownnose, I don't get perks, promotions, etc. I just get the "oh, I like you, you're quiet, you come in and do your job" Well, same thing when it comes to dating. I perform my "duties" above that of other women, and get passed over...So, gotta move to another company/agency to get the higher position I am entitled to. Dating just sucks...why can't you just go out, meet people, have a great time w/o having to walk on eggshells and/or be playing from some playbook? I'm not changing...what you see is what you get with me. I'm not playing no freakin' game to land a guy. Oh well, time to get more doggies for my collection and to become the "Krazy Dog Lady" of my hood cuz the way I'm going about it, no man will give me the time of day cuz I have no game:mad: I consider books and websites like those guidelines. You don't have to mold yourself perfectly to everything they recommend. The big thing I get from dating gurus is learning how to present yourself, like polishing the rough edges. 1
hotpotato Posted July 10, 2015 Posted July 10, 2015 Then why did I always win? Sorry. I don't mean to be insensitive. Exactly. You play the game, you win. Imo it doesn't mean that you are being someone else or pretending or whatever, you are presenting yourself differently and making people feel good when you play the game. IMO people who don't believe in the game don't have a lot of dealbreakers or just naturally follow the rules without thinking. They simply don't have to sit there and think about how relationships work. 1
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