cmonnox Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hi me and my girlfriend have been together for 4years on the 5th October I have been thinking about proposing to her for a while, we have just recently had a talk over some issues we had and are giving our relationship another go, I know I have to ask her dad for permission first but I don't know if it's too soon as my feelings about her hasn't changed. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Your Q makes no sense. If during that talk you are saying she expressed reservations about moving forward, just because you are in love if you have reasons to believe she is uncertain, yes it's too soon to ask her dad for her hand in marriage. BTW, fwiw, I think it's lovely that you will do that. DH didn't ask my dad (& I understand why) but it hurt my dad's feelings. Anyway if you get the sense that your GF is not sure about the future of your relationship, work to strengthen your bind before buying a ring. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 If you're not sure and are having doubts, then don't propose. Personally I believe 4 years is long enough to know if she's the one, although that depends on your ages. Why don't you put a time frame in mind to see how things go, then decide whether you wish to propose or leave her. Just be honest with each other and be clear about what you want. My H asked my dad for my hand in marriage........he had to......as it's part of my culture, but he's the kind of man that would do that anyway. Just don't get married when you're doubtful. Address all the issues you can think of and make sure you know each others views and are compatible on important things like : Kids, how many if any Childcare Where to live sex Finances Infidelity being a dealbreaker ...... Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 How old are the two of you? Different answer if you were both 12 when you first got together as opposed to 22... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author cmonnox Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Hi thanks a lot guys, I am 24 in Feb and she is 21 in march, I have no problem asking her dad for her hand in marriage just the response, I have no doubts as I'm aware. I do want to be with her for the rest of my life . I just don't know when the right time is Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 10, 2015 Share Posted July 10, 2015 I just don't know when the right time is Don't know you personally but my answer would be "10 years from now". I got married (1st time) at 20 years old. I was impulsive, immature, selfish, short-sighted, churlish, inconsiderate - and between my ex-wife and I, I was the more fully developed one. We grew into completely different people through our 20's and that (amongst other things) doomed our relationship. Not predicting that fate for you but therein lies the rub - no one can predict the person you'll be. Hope you're at least planning a very long engagement... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
KiwiGal76 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I would wait a while longer. There is no rush, is there? Go and have fun together. Travel, live life and enjoy each other. Build the foundations as marriage is the union of the foundation you have built. Great that you want to ask her dad. You will both know when the time is right. People do a lot of changing in their 30s. Always keep current with your partner and keep the lines of communication honest and open. Grow together and most importantly do stuff together. Good luck :-) Link to post Share on other sites
CTRL C Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Hi thanks a lot guys, I am 24 in Feb and she is 21 in march, I have no problem asking her dad for her hand in marriage just the response, I have no doubts as I'm aware. I do want to be with her for the rest of my life . I just don't know when the right time is Hi cmonnox. I'm about your age, 25. I've been watching many of my high school and college friends get married lately, have kids, buy houses. Some are a little older, some a little younger... and some have already divorced or are filing for it. A marriage doesn't bring value to your relationship, being not married doesn't make it any less special of a relationship. A wedding isn't the end goal anyways, as there's an entire lifetime following that single day. There is no end goal, there's just a goal each day to make each other happy. If you both want to be together for the rest of your lives, then you'll be together regardless of that marriage contract. So there's no rush to marry right now. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 5 years sounds like it's a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
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