AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Does anyone recall one specific thing that drove you crazy after the end of your affair. The MM in my instance near the end kept saying, 'It.' I am so greatly disappointed you do not get 'it.' He repeated this in several conversations. It it it. I also replied he did not get 'It.' The point is now for the last several days all I see it 'It,' everywhere, especially in ads or in conversation. Examples: You can do 'It.' Never give 'It,' up. So many others. I felt like driving a sledge hammer though my media devices. 'It' is everywhere. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 don't have any experiences with an A but i swear... ALL of my men mentioned the IT at some point. will we ever know what is IT? hmmmmmm. LOL. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 :laugh::laugh: Yes Mariah! I am LMAO to your post. There isn't even a theory to 'it.' You can go blue in the face, What is it? and they will never let you know exactly what it is..ha ha I can go on forever with the its! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
portwine Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Very interesting what you posted about the whole "it" conundrum. "it" is a nebulous term that seems open for interpretation to the average person. However, when cheating spouses use the "you don't get it" expression, they're essentially making the case that you're not worthy of a relationship with them. It's a passive aggressive move that will prompt you to ask "what is it", and they'll then have an excuse to you denounce you because you "haven't been paying attention or showed any understanding" during this whole ordeal. It's used to control and manipulate you, to create some distance or "time out", and to leave you guessing in order to break you don't and control you even more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) I hated when my exAP referred to the fact that he had another life with another woman as a "situation." Whether it was his declaration that he was trying to protect my feelings "in the situation" or saying I knew his "situation" or whatever the heck about "situation" drove me crazy! Edited July 9, 2015 by MissBee 5 Link to post Share on other sites
lookingforclosure Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 MissBee My xMM used his "situation" as well. Always referring to his "already stressful life and situation". I am like WTH?? But it's the "situation" he has chose, shoot as I write this he is scrambling to keep the wife he claimed not the love, claimed to hate the "situation". Oh well...that's HIS "situation" lol 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Very interesting what you posted about the whole "it" conundrum. "it" is a nebulous term that seems open for interpretation to the average person. However, when cheating spouses use the "you don't get it" expression, they're essentially making the case that you're not worthy of a relationship with them. It's a passive aggressive move that will prompt you to ask "what is it", and they'll then have an excuse to you denounce you because you "haven't been paying attention or showed any understanding" during this whole ordeal. It's used to control and manipulate you, to create some distance or "time out", and to leave you guessing in order to break you don't and control you even more. This may make a case! He probably did think of 'it' this way. It didn't work, no control or breaking me down, I unraveled and unleashed. I was feeling terrible about the things I said in anger, but looking at 'it' this way..I am glad I did now. So terribly enjoying the memory now. I broke his 'it' down. Oh, another 'it,' the old song En Vogue's Never Gonna Get 'It.' I like the lyrics and they seem to fit quite well into this nightmare. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 I hated when my exAP referred to the fact that he had another life with another woman as a "situation." Whether it was his declaration that he was trying to protect my feelings "in the situation" or saying I knew his "situation" or whatever the heck about "situation" drove me crazy! The MM I was with never used that word. But I can clearly see it being said a lot. The smallest things can drive you crazy. THE 'Situation,' yes it would. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 It is what it is and it ain't what it ain't. One of my favorite it quotes... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 It is what it is and it ain't what it ain't. One of my favorite it quotes... LMAO. i totally use the 1st phrase. "it is what it is" = me shruging behind the screens. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
norudder Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Exmm just called it his "home life". He had two lives. What bugged me toward the end was his repetitiveness of saying "you have no idea", "you'll never know", with absolutely no context. I guess I was meant to infer it meant something special but like someone else said it created a distance. I realize all he was saying was this is all you'll be to me but I'm loving it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I hated when my exAP referred to the fact that he had another life with another woman as a "situation." Whether it was his declaration that he was trying to protect my feelings "in the situation" or saying I knew his "situation" or whatever the heck about "situation" drove me crazy! Yessssss! He never said his wife, he said "his situation." He would occasionally mention "home life," but his MARRIAGE was his "situation." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Yessssss! He never said his wife, he said "his situation." He would occasionally mention "home life," but his MARRIAGE was his "situation." It was so annoying! Mostly because it seemed like a code that wasn't really a code and it just felt like we were playing silly word games to mask the more obvious harsh reality. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 It was so annoying! Mostly because it seemed like a code that wasn't really a code and it just felt like we were playing silly word games to mask the more obvious harsh reality. I would respond with something like, "Your 'situation'? You mean the choices you've made in your life that have created the life you currently have? An unhappy marriage? Conflict avoidance? Cowardice? Selfishness? Is that what you mean?" 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 I would respond with something like, "Your 'situation'? You mean the choices you've made in your life that have created the life you currently have? An unhappy marriage? Conflict avoidance? Cowardice? Selfishness? Is that what you mean?" I responded like this many times and is why I am an exAP. I am not sure how much fun he had all these years. I sure lit some mighty firecrackers under his arse. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 Humor helps. Funny I do not watch cartoons but thinking of all these ridiculous overtures used by the exMM I thought of Coyote wild and Bugs Bunny and watched on You tube, Bip Bip et Coyote Wild about Hurry, and looked at it as all the BS the MM attempts and you smack them down throughout and in the end. Made me laugh and felt better momentarily. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I hated when my exAP referred to the fact that he had another life with another woman as a "situation." Whether it was his declaration that he was trying to protect my feelings "in the situation" or saying I knew his "situation" or whatever the heck about "situation" drove me crazy! Yessssss! He never said his wife, he said "his situation." He would occasionally mention "home life," but his MARRIAGE was his "situation." OMG mine called it his "situation" too! What the heck does THAT mean?! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 OMG mine called it his "situation" too! What the heck does THAT mean?! It is like they are little boys playing GI Joe, Risk, or Battle Star Galactica, Sir we have a situation here. Ok guys this is the situation. Very strategic. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I think because MM like keeping it vague 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldieLox Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 The xAP did nothing but apologize over... and over... and over. It was so obnoxious the last time we spoke, I walked away because I wanted to slap him. It wouldn't have been so obnoxious if I actually thought he was sincere. He just doesn't get "it" 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyBrown Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 Does anyone recall one specific thing that drove you crazy after the end of your affair. The MM in my instance near the end kept saying, 'It.' I am so greatly disappointed you do not get 'it.' He repeated this in several conversations. It it it. I also replied he did not get 'It.' The point is now for the last several days all I see it 'It,' everywhere, especially in ads or in conversation. Examples: You can do 'It.' Never give 'It,' up. So many others. I felt like driving a sledge hammer though my media devices. 'It' is everywhere. OH MY GOD! This is so funny because in one of our arguments MM said to me "as you know, I've been trying to stay out of IT" and I've wondered WTF he meant by IT? It what?! IT, us? WHAT IT?!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 I hope you never have to get "it". It = represents a man who intends to use you for his benefit while offering you nothing of value for your future! You're allowed to say "I don't want 'it' - it isn't worth my time and energy". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 OMG mine called it his "situation" too! What the heck does THAT mean?! the other day my cousin (19 years old) reffered to his relationship as "situationship" - i have no idea what that means. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherSadSong Posted July 9, 2015 Author Share Posted July 9, 2015 the other day my cousin (19 years old) reffered to his relationship as "situationship" - i have no idea what that means. LOL. Well your cousin sure has originality. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 9, 2015 Share Posted July 9, 2015 It is like they are little boys playing GI Joe, Risk, or Battle Star Galactica, Sir we have a situation here. Ok guys this is the situation. Very strategic. :lmao: This imagery is funny to me and reminds me of movies and shows where the president has to be briefed in the "Situation Room" concerning matters of national security and how maybe in their own way, it's similar lmao. Some top secret "situation" that, if managed incorrectly, might blow up their entire lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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