My Father in law thinks my Dad should solve our money problems

[ivorstevens]

My wife and I are having some money problems. My Dad is doing OK for money but by no means rich, he has just worked and been sensible.

 

My wife, it seems, has told her parents that my Dad has money, for example that he owns his house and her family have to rent, so now that she told her parents about our money troubles and how she was thinking of solving them her Dad told her that she better get some money from my Dad!

Her Dad is not offering any of his money, just telling her she should get it from my Dad.

 

I dont really expect anyone to help us out though of course it would be great if someone did and probably if I ask my Dad, he will because he is generous, so that might end up happening but I see that as a last resort and my wifes father seems to think it should be her first choice.

 

It is annoying me and stressing me a bit, what do you all think?

[melodymatters]

Your partners parents have no place in your financial business. If you really need help and your dad can offer it, that should be between you and your dad, no one else.

 

Ask your wife to please not mention your problems to her parents unless it's a concrete thing like " Our car is in the shop and no one is driving your old Buick, could we use it for a week or two?"

[OldRover]

Your partners parents have no place in your financial business. If you really need help and your dad can offer it, that should be between you and your dad, no one else.

 

Ask your wife to please not mention your problems to her parents unless it's a concrete thing like " Our car is in the shop and no one is driving your old Buick, could we use it for a week or two?"

 

 

Totally agreed.

 

ivorstevens,

 

Your dad or your wife's dad, should be under NO obligation to help you financially. Also, she discussing it with her dad and getting advise that your dad should help it totally inappropriate.

 

I'd TOTALLY ADVISE against taking any money from your folks. You need to stand on your own feet, regardless if you have to eat oatmeal and water. You both need to learn to be financially responsible and handouts from parents do NOT work.

 

Now, it the parents wish to help you buy a home, and you give them a mortgage at fair market value that's fine.

 

And later on in life, whey you ARE financially responsible and he wishes to reduce his estate taxes, a give is appropriate... also, if he wishes to partially finance your kids education.

 

I've seen too many cases where the parents constantly bailed out the kids and the kids never learned.

 

I was hard on my kid, made her financially responsible, earn her own money, but sure helped her learn how. And today she is totally responsible and money is not a problem. However, we did help with a home purchase, but took a mortgage at a fairly high rate. Helped her buy it right, and we both made out fine, and that worked.

[Mr. Lucky]

My wife and I are having some money problems.

 

What kind of money problems? What are they a result of?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Thegameoflife]

It's not surprising that your in-laws who don't have a great financial situation think your Dad should give money cause he has a better financial situation. People who have their finances in order, know that it's up to them to keep things under control.

 

What I suggest, is that you sort your own issues out, and ride out the hard times. The only reason you should ask for a loan or accept a hand out, is if your credit will be seriously harmed if you don't, making your life situation much harder. Financial hardships will teach you what to do to prevent future ones. Unless you're stupid; in that case this will probably be a life long affliction.

[Popsicle]

Honestly, it depends on how much were talking here. If it's not going to break your dad in any way and you are truly able to repay him, why not ask your dad for a loan? You have to know that you can repay him fairly quickly though. I remember when I was married, we went through a rough financial time, and my H, who is extremely prideful and responsible, asked his dad for a loan. His dad was not rich either,but gave it to us without hesitation. I think it was under $1000 though and we paid it back the next month.