Revenge [pertaining to infidelity]

[minimariah]

You're gonna tell me that his selfish and irrational demands for sex while you're nursing a newborn and in recovery aren't character flaws you noticed while dating him? People just don't turn into pumpkins after marriage and/or kids.

 

people show their true colours after marriage & kids. they also change after marriage & kids... slowly and then the change shows when the opportunity presents itself. because those are life changing situations. how on earth would you know a man would be a good husband and a father until he actually is one? and then it's too late. his selfish & irrational demands for sex weren't selfish and irrational when the circumstances were right and when she was ABLE to have sex with him. then, it probably seemed like a man in love & feeling passionate about the women he is with.

 

you need to have certain situations HAPPEN such as accidents, children, marriage, trouble... any big issue for your partner to show their true colours. only then you'll know how they act and deal with stress.

 

this talk about "seeing what he was like while dating" is nothing but your own defense mechanism because if you make yourself believe that it's the woman's fault for picking out a bad partner..... then it won't happen to you.

 

patriarchy, gloria. unlearn it.

[Gloria25]

people show their true colours after marriage & kids. they also change after marriage & kids... slowly and then the change shows when the opportunity presents itself. because those are life changing situations. how on earth would you know a man would be a good husband and a father until he actually is one? and then it's too late. his selfish & irrational demands for sex weren't selfish and irrational when the circumstances were right and when she was ABLE to have sex with him. then, it probably seemed like a man in love & feeling passionate about the women he is with.

 

you need to have certain situations HAPPEN such as accidents, children, marriage, trouble... any big issue for your partner to show their true colours. only then you'll know how they act and deal with stress.

 

this talk about "seeing what he was like while dating" is nothing but your own defense mechanism because if you make yourself believe that it's the woman's fault for picking out a bad partner..... then it won't happen to you.

 

patriarchy, gloria. unlearn it.

 

You know, years ago I was watching Oprah and thank God, I stopped watching that garbage - I mean look at her, she was victim of sexual abuse, who grew up to be a fat manhater under the guise of "woman power"....Anywho,

 

The show was about men who cheat and they put the fear of God in me. It's talk like you and other women - blaming men for all evils - that scare women into feminism and playing all these manipulative/controlling games with men....And, EVERY THING is the man's fault. His fault that she got fat cuz he should love her as she is and "support" her. His fault that he's horny and she has kids and housework, his fault and then some.

 

No, there are good men out there...not all men are gonna hurt us. You keep on going out there with that mentality that all men are evil and you get what you believe is out there.

 

The woman I posted about here recently with the drunk loser of a husband? Her first husband was also a bum, her gfs get involved with bums...and guess what their mantra is? All men are dogs....NO, THE MEN YOU CHOSE ARE DOGS

 

I say the same for men who pick bad women. I mean, we have a thread going on like 15 pages already on some dude who just can't see that what his gf is doing while dating (this whole sex withholding game) is gonna manifest itself in other harmful/controlling ways once he marries her.

 

So no, while you're dating you aren't having kids (well some people do) and don't have a chance to see how he expects sex when you're breastfeeding/recovering - but there's other things about him that while dating you can pick up on to get an idea of his character (i.e. if you have the flu, does he get you chicken soup or puts his penis in your mouth).

 

And sadly, people don't have these frank discussions while dating and/or have pre-marital counseling. In dating they think they found a match cuz they like the same popcorn, movies, music and have fun when they go out to the county fair. Pleeze, marriage isn't about how much fun you have dating - it's whether or not that person can handle/shares/has the knowledge and ability to handle the practicalities of "life" (i.e. finances, jobs, raising kids, cooking, caring for your SO, etc.)...

 

So, they get married on this "high" from good times in dating and "life" happens where she's breastfeeding and he's bummed out cuz he needs attention (sex for men is more than just getting his penis wet - it means him getting attention/validation from his woman) and maybe if they discussed the "practicality" that he was going to feel neglected/jealous of the baby - then they could have dealt with that in pre-marital counseling before him stepping out and having an affair.

[velvette]

You know, years ago I was watching Oprah and thank God, I stopped watching that garbage - I mean look at her, she was victim of sexual abuse, who grew up to be a fat manhater under the guise of "woman power"....Anywho,

 

The show was about men who cheat and they put the fear of God in me. It's talk like you and other women - blaming men for all evils - that scare women into feminism and playing all these manipulative/controlling games with men....And, EVERY THING is the man's fault. His fault that she got fat cuz he should love her as she is and "support" her. His fault that he's horny and she has kids and housework, his fault and then some.

 

No, there are good men out there...not all men are gonna hurt us. You keep on going out there with that mentality that all men are evil and you get what you believe is out there.

 

The woman I posted about here recently with the drunk loser of a husband? Her first husband was also a bum, her gfs get involved with bums...and guess what their mantra is? All men are dogs....NO, THE MEN YOU CHOSE ARE DOGS

 

I say the same for men who pick bad women. I mean, we have a thread going on like 15 pages already on some dude who just can't see that what his gf is doing while dating (this whole sex withholding game) is gonna manifest itself in other harmful/controlling ways once he marries her.

 

So no, while you're dating you aren't having kids (well some people do) and don't have a chance to see how he expects sex when you're breastfeeding/recovering - but there's other things about him that while dating you can pick up on to get an idea of his character (i.e. if you have the flu, does he get you chicken soup or puts his penis in your mouth).

 

And sadly, people don't have these frank discussions while dating and/or have pre-marital counseling. In dating they think they found a match cuz they like the same popcorn, movies, music and have fun when they go out to the county fair. Pleeze, marriage isn't about how much fun you have dating - it's whether or not that person can handle/shares/has the knowledge and ability to handle the practicalities of "life" (i.e. finances, jobs, raising kids, cooking, caring for your SO, etc.)...

 

So, they get married on this "high" from good times in dating and "life" happens where she's breastfeeding and he's bummed out cuz he needs attention (sex for men is more than just getting his penis wet - it means him getting attention/validation from his woman) and maybe if they discussed the "practicality" that he was going to feel neglected/jealous of the baby - then they could have dealt with that in pre-marital counseling before him stepping out and having an affair.

 

I'm curious how long you have been married and whether or not you are happily married?

 

 

You seem to express a lot of loathing for your own gender; what is that about?

[truncated]

I think taking revenge against young school children to get back at an AP would enter into the sphere of major mental illness and massive problems with impulse control. It then becomes less of an expected affair liability and becomes a personal act of child abuse and I would not take that lightly. You mess with young kids with premeditation, as I read on another thread about revenge, different ball park.

 

 

Is it okay to hurt children of the bs by sleeping with her husband and messing up her life? By making it difficult for mom to function while still having to care for the kids? By acting as a partner in crime with their dad?

 

I agree that hurting children is unacceptable, but the reality is that the people who do the most damage to kids are the ws and om or ow, as in nearly ever case, the kids are affected by an affair.

[Gloria25]

I'm curious how long you have been married and whether or not you are happily married?

 

 

You seem to express a lot of loathing for your own gender; what is that about?

 

Because I don't get on the "Amazon Island" bandwagon. I actually call it as I see it.

 

I have loathing for men too. Actually, I have a keychain that literally says "I don't discriminate, I hate everyone".

 

See, thing is when it comes to women - women can NEVER do wrong. Dare you set yourself apart from the brood and speak the truth, you'll get booted from Amazon Island.

 

What I posted here about women not taking responsibility for their role in a man having an affair applies to other areas of life and other genders too.

 

One time I was having problems on the job with some guy who literally walked up to me, slammed down some papers and yelled at me. I ignored him, walked away and reported it to my super. You know what my super asked me? She asked me "what did you do to contribute to this incident?" And I was like "whaaaat?" I was just standing there, he came and slammed the papers. I handled it professionally and walked away...

 

But guess what? When I thought about it, he was trying to start an incident with me cuz some chick he had the hots for was getting read the riot act by me. I wasn't standing for her poop and was putting her in her place...So, she ran to him, who in return came to start drama with me....

 

So, at the end of the day - while him and her were double teaming me - it still boiled down to "me" and me bringing this on myself by having a beef with her. Sometimes you gotta pick your battles and know the politics in the workplace. So, in the end my super was right - I needed to recognize how "I" contributed to the incident that happened to me.

 

Same thing women need to do - stop playing victim and blaming your husband and the OW. Either you married a jerk/dog or you married a good guy, but neglected his needs in the marriage. Choose wisely/treat kindly. It "IS" that simple.

 

So, if you chose a jerk - your fault. If you didn't take care of him in the marriage - still your fault. Stop playing victim and take some responsibility for your decisions in life.

[velvette]

Because I don't get on the "Amazon Island" bandwagon. I actually call it as I see it.

 

I have loathing for men too. Actually, I have a keychain that literally says "I don't discriminate, I hate everyone".

 

See, thing is when it comes to women - women can NEVER do wrong. Dare you set yourself apart from the brood and speak the truth, you'll get booted from Amazon Island.

 

What I posted here about women not taking responsibility for their role in a man having an affair applies to other areas of life and other genders too.

 

One time I was having problems on the job with some guy who literally walked up to me, slammed down some papers and yelled at me. I ignored him, walked away and reported it to my super. You know what my super asked me? She asked me "what did you do to contribute to this incident?" And I was like "whaaaat?" I was just standing there, he came and slammed the papers. I handled it professionally and walked away...

 

But guess what? When I thought about it, he was trying to start an incident with me cuz some chick he had the hots for was getting read the riot act by me. I wasn't standing for her poop and was putting her in her place...So, she ran to him, who in return came to start drama with me....

 

So, at the end of the day - while him and her were double teaming me - it still boiled down to "me" and me bringing this on myself by having a beef with her. Sometimes you gotta pick your battles and know the politics in the workplace. So, in the end my super was right - I needed to recognize how "I" contributed to the incident that happened to me.

 

Same thing women need to do - stop playing victim and blaming your husband and the OW. Either you married a jerk/dog or you married a good guy, but neglected his needs in the marriage. Choose wisely/treat kindly. It "IS" that simple.

 

So, if you chose a jerk - your fault. If you didn't take care of him in the marriage - still your fault. Stop playing victim and take some responsibility for your decisions in life.

 

 

All of that aside and acknowledging that you hate everyone, you didn't answer the question of how long you have been in a successful marriage?

[Gloria25]

All of that aside and acknowledging that you hate everyone, you didn't answer the question of how long you have been in a successful marriage?

 

Unlike the "divorced" women here with failed marriages, I've never been married. Have I had the chance to be married? Yes. And, probably my ability and wise sense to not jump into a bad situation is why I can sit here and talk about marriage with some actual common sense and/or knowledge of what makes a successful marriage.

 

Funny how these women from failed marriages want to come and preach how nothing was their fault and all was the guy's fault.

 

So please, asking me if I've ever been married and/or if it was successful - while you have women from failed marriages - some of whom are still single - preaching as to what they "know" about marriage and/or life is a waste of time if you ask me.

 

We all make mistakes in life, but apparently, some people feel better about blaming the other person in the marriage for everything that went wrong instead of taking some responsibility of their role - hence why they are still single, probably divorced 2nd time around and/or continue to have failed RLs after their failed marriages.

 

I say, if you can't get it right (marriage that is), who makes you an "expert" on what a successful marriage is?

[truncated]

Unlike the "divorced" women here with failed marriages, I've never been married. Have I had the chance to be married? Yes. And, probably my ability and wise sense to not jump into a bad situation is why I can sit here and talk about marriage with some actual common sense and/or knowledge of what makes a successful marriage.

 

Funny how these women from failed marriages want to come and preach how nothing was their fault and all was the guy's fault.

 

So please, asking me if I've ever been married and/or if it was successful - while you have women from failed marriages - some of whom are still single - preaching as to what they "know" about marriage and/or life is a waste of time if you ask me.

 

We all make mistakes in life, but apparently, some people feel better about blaming the other person in the marriage for everything that went wrong instead of taking some responsibility of their role - hence why they are still single, probably divorced 2nd time around and/or continue to have failed RLs after their failed marriages.

 

I say, if you can't get it right (marriage that is), who makes you an "expert" on what a successful marriage is?

 

been married more than 18 years now, and I can assure you that you don't know squat about marriage until you are in one. Listening to podcasts or watching talkshow tv isn't going to help you one bit.

[velvette]

Unlike the "divorced" women here with failed marriages, I've never been married. Have I had the chance to be married? Yes. And, probably my ability and wise sense to not jump into a bad situation is why I can sit here and talk about marriage with some actual common sense and/or knowledge of what makes a successful marriage.

 

Funny how these women from failed marriages want to come and preach how nothing was their fault and all was the guy's fault.

 

So please, asking me if I've ever been married and/or if it was successful - while you have women from failed marriages - some of whom are still single - preaching as to what they "know" about marriage and/or life is a waste of time if you ask me.

 

We all make mistakes in life, but apparently, some people feel better about blaming the other person in the marriage for everything that went wrong instead of taking some responsibility of their role - hence why they are still single, probably divorced 2nd time around and/or continue to have failed RLs after their failed marriages.

 

I say, if you can't get it right (marriage that is), who makes you an "expert" on what a successful marriage is?

 

 

Thanks for answering the question. So, the reality is that you have no experience with any kind of marriage much less a successful one.

 

 

I could toy with you further, and am sorely tempted, given your arrogance in giving advice to others about something which you have no first hand knowledge. But, that would not be nice and would in fact be to0 easy like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

 

Instead, I will share with you something that would otherwise take you years to learn on your own. Experience (with anything) is everything.

 

 

Any successful person will tell you that they learned as much or more from their failures as their successes.

 

 

Everything you have written tells me you are afraid of marriage or involving yourself in a committed relationship. I assume that is due to something in your family of origin.

 

 

Instead of listening to your favorite podcaster, I would suggest you consider counseling to deal with your hatred of both genders and whatever fears prevent you from having a R that could make you happy.

[Arieswoman]

Gloria25 post #301

 

You're gonna tell me that his selfish and irrational demands for sex while you're nursing a newborn and in recovery aren't character flaws you noticed while dating him? People just don't turn into pumpkins after marriage and/or kids. Either you didn't pay attention to the fact that you were dating a jerk, didn't know what to look for in a decent man, didn't have frank discussions about practical things in marriage (ie intercourse once kids arrived - probably cuz like most women, you expected him to forego sex whenever during the marriage cuz men are just stupid horndogs), and/or didn't date him well/long enough to know who he really is.

 

I never had kids with my exH.

The example I quoted was an extreme one to make a point.

It has happened to several girls I know.

 

I agree I didn't get to know my exH well enough. However, people only show you what they want you to see - no-one has any control over what others choose not to reveal.

When we dated and were married for the first 5 years he was a shift worker. So he wasn't around a lot of the time and I was working f/t. He didn't have time to cheat - he was either in bed or at work - and I collected him from work on certain shifts as we only had one car.

 

When he got a day job the marriage fell apart quite rapidly. He got a car and had free evenings. So he had time for hobbies and cheating

 

And, I refuse to take any responsibility for someone else's crappy, entitled behaviour.

[minimariah]

I actually call it as I see it.

 

no, gloria. you call it as you WANT to see it and you "hate everyone" so you see conflict everywhere. your opinions aren't facts. they aren't even correct.

 

Unlike the "divorced" women here with failed marriages, I've never been married.

 

i would rather have a failed marriage and a failed long - term relationship than no marriage or a long - term relationship at all in my entire life.

 

Have I had the chance to be married? Yes. And, probably my ability and wise sense to not jump into a bad situation is why I can sit here and talk about marriage with some actual common sense and/or knowledge of what makes a successful marriage.

 

you can sit here and talk about marriage the way you do because you can't have a long - term successful, happy and healthy relationship with a decent man to save your life. everything you write -- it is never from your own personal experience because you have none.

 

Funny how these women from failed marriages want to come and preach how nothing was their fault and all was the guy's fault.

 

nobody does that. ever.

 

you know who preaches about relationships and marriages all the time, saying that it's all women's fault? you.

 

yet here you are... never had a successful & happy long - term relationship with commitments... ever, because you didn't want to put yourself in a bad situation... in translation -- never found a man you wanted to keep and who wanted to keep you AND who was actually worth keeping. because you're too much of a coward to make that commitment to anyone.

 

now, ain't that something?

[AnotherSadSong]

I'm glad your children are doing well.

 

 

I'm curious, do your children know about your affair? If so, what was their reaction? If not, how do you think they would react if they became aware of it?

 

 

 

No, I would never blend there world with his unless it became a family unit. I would never leave my children when they needed me to me with the MM. There were more occasions than not I said No, plain and simple, and his disappointment did not faze me one bit.

 

 

I have seen him for what he really is, and I see myself for what I was truly doing and it will never happen again.

 

 

I think spending time and doing at times tortuous hours of algebra etc. is more rewarding.

 

 

I have really strong willed children who have been taught tolerance and acceptance to great length, it also extends to being open and well traveled by the time that scoot off into the real world. Of course I know my children best. They would calculate the situation, work out the problem, and carry on to their own personal and unique successes.

 

 

They are caring and loving almost to a fault for everyone. They see bullying or a situation that is inhumane, they would put a stop to it, set of a campaign, and make a solution so all parties involved would come out in a winning situation.

 

 

I have actually been pulled into the office for a discussion of them doing this and how truly wonderful it is. This may not be the norm, but that is who they are.

[AnotherSadSong]

Is it okay to hurt children of the bs by sleeping with her husband and messing up her life? By making it difficult for mom to function while still having to care for the kids? By acting as a partner in crime with their dad?

 

I agree that hurting children is unacceptable, but the reality is that the people who do the most damage to kids are the ws and om or ow, as in nearly ever case, the kids are affected by an affair.

 

I am sorry truncated, if a person is unable to handle adult situations in a mature and stable manner I am sure their children may suffer. Many relationships and marriages break up for an assortment of reasons and how you carry yourself and tend to your children exclusive from adult problems is your responsibility as a parent.

 

 

I think once you pass the stable line into unstable and unpredictable and target a 7 year old because you as an adult are upset and you decide this little girl deserves children coming up to her calling her a whore on the playground and bullying her. If this gives a person, personal satisfaction then they have mental illness.

[Got it]

no, gloria. you call it as you WANT to see it and you "hate everyone" so you see conflict everywhere. your opinions aren't facts. they aren't even correct.

 

 

 

i would rather have a failed marriage and a failed long - term relationship than no marriage or a long - term relationship at all in my entire life.

 

 

 

you can sit here and talk about marriage the way you do because you can't have a long - term successful, happy and healthy relationship with a decent man to save your life. everything you write -- it is never from your own personal experience because you have none.

 

 

 

nobody does that. ever.

 

you know who preaches about relationships and marriages all the time, saying that it's all women's fault? you.

 

yet here you are... never had a successful & happy long - term relationship with commitments... ever, because you didn't want to put yourself in a bad situation... in translation -- never found a man you wanted to keep and who wanted to keep you AND who was actually worth keeping. because you're too much of a coward to make that commitment to anyone.

 

now, ain't that something?

 

I agree and have brought these points up to Gloria. I think it is a very slanted view to view women on here as only blaming men, assuming no fault, etc. especially for one that has only "studied" the topic at hand with no field experience.

 

I tend to believe in looking at things in the middle of the spectrum and think that some do ignore/don't see red flags prior to dating or assume they will change, and then since humans change over time, the person we married at 20 may not be someone we are compatible with at 50. And since I am now a "mom in making" having just a few years of step parenting and one in utero. I have zero idea how I will change over the course of having and raising a little one with my husband. This is a new chapter for us and while I think we have a very strong foundation it will be challenged at times.

 

Neither gender is perfect and made up with a multitude of personalities. I do think that most individuals have good intentions in their interactions with others and we do the best we can with the tools we have been given/developed.

 

And in all my learnings of feminism, and have ascribed as one since college is was never the man hating, female perfect, approach that tends to be bashed around.

[Got it]

In regards to exposing/revenge. That is a personal choice and one that a person must own the consequences, good and bad. Also what are they hoping to get out of it and also what they are prepared for if it doesn't go in the direction they intended/expected.

 

I don't think anyone is granted leniency for anything that breaks the law and there are little excuses to do so.

 

Did anyone catch that the OP's original topic was revenge AGAINST the BS or OP. So revenge by the WS.

 

As a WS I never thought to seek revenge against anyone. It never crossed my mind. I tend to believe the best revenge is a life well led.

[understand50]

no, gloria. you call it as you WANT to see it and you "hate everyone" so you see conflict everywhere. your opinions aren't facts. they aren't even correct.

 

 

 

i would rather have a failed marriage and a failed long - term relationship than no marriage or a long - term relationship at all in my entire life.

 

 

 

you can sit here and talk about marriage the way you do because you can't have a long - term successful, happy and healthy relationship with a decent man to save your life. everything you write -- it is never from your own personal experience because you have none.

 

 

 

nobody does that. ever.

 

you know who preaches about relationships and marriages all the time, saying that it's all women's fault? you.

 

yet here you are... never had a successful & happy long - term relationship with commitments... ever, because you didn't want to put yourself in a bad situation... in translation -- never found a man you wanted to keep and who wanted to keep you AND who was actually worth keeping. because you're too much of a coward to make that commitment to anyone.

 

now, ain't that something?

 

Minimariah and Gloria,

 

You both have points. Until you have been in a marriage you really do not know what and how it is. One can make mistakes, and you can learn from them. In order to move on in life, you must engage, take chances, live life. The idea, that "I would have rather loved and lost, then never loved at all" is a old and true saying.

 

I think, Gloria makes a valid point. Marriage, or relationships, is a two way street. Who you pick, to marry is the most important part of a marriage. If you pick someone who is selfish, who does not look out for you, and you are the same, you are going to have troubles in a marriage. I have known men that have gone years with out sex in a marriage. Finely divorcing or cheating. Was this just the man's fault? Well, yes you can lay some of the blame for their choice, or for the cheating, but you need to assign some of it to the woman. We have treads with both men and women in sexless marriages. I known wife's who are just shrews, and drove everyone who dealt with them to the point of madness. Point is, there are toxic people, of both sexes, and if you get married to them, Oh god. No one sex has a monopoly on this. If you are attracted to this type, you need to ask yourself why? Why are you picking badly? My BiL has been married 2 times, with one LTR. All produced children. Each failed, with the woman and him cheating. I asked him, why to you pick this type of mate? Why do they cheat? Why do you cheat? He has no answer. I do not think he ever will.

 

Today, there is a whole industry devoted to proving that all men are pigs. Marry one you get what you deserve. There is a smaller one saying the same for women. Is this a way to live life? How are you going to find love, or companionship? Feminism has a lot to answer for, and I see the beginning of it, as many people, both men and women are realizing that their chance for marriage, kids is slipping away or gone. I just feel sad for them. To label everyone of one sex a certain way is just, dumb, and shows that you are not a really a put together person. You are lacking. I would not consider marring, dating, or being a friend to a man hating "feminist" or be friends to a misogamist ether. Life is just too short.

 

I have been married over 40 years. We got married at 19 and 21 years of age. She being older. We grew up together, had kids, and stayed together. We have both been faithful. Her are far as I know, or as much as any man can be of his wife. She can say the same for me. We had our large and small issues, some that we are still working on overcoming. I picked well, we both "get" each other, we like being around each other. We both love each other, and when we do not, we were smart enough to realize that "love" comes and goes, but will always come back.

 

So I agree on the idea, that who you pick to marry is key, but being afraid to marry, because you fear men makes YOU not good marriage material. The same can be said of men.

 

BTW, as a side note, there are advantages to getting married at a early age. Here is a link that may interest you. As with all things, it is one point of view, and I wonder if one of the reason people have in finding good marriage partners later in life, is that the good partners are married, and hence off the market. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, and that just make life fun. I am also struck, that in my wife's and my families, and all of my married friends, the husbands are 2 to 3 years younger then the wifes. I do not know if this is self selection, or just luck.

 

The Benefits of Getting Married Young | The Art of Manliness

[2.50 a gallon]

Exposure is minor.

I am a first year baby boomer. I grew up in an old neighborhood. where a good many of dads had fought overseas.

One of the characters in the neighborhood, was a guy everybody knew as Juke Box Jerry. He was not right in the head. He had one of the first transistor radios, which was always glued to his ear.

Everybody knew his story. During the war, if some guy started messing around with a woman whose husband was overseas the neighborhood would have a talk with him. Second time was a straight warning, that the next time would see him in a blanket party. A blanket party, was when someones, (plural) would throw a blanket over him and several men would give him a beating.

Jerry's time came during the Korean War. For him there was a fourth time, which left him in the condition he was in.

[AnotherSadSong]

Okay for those who believe the OW deserves whatever revenge and punishment the BS hashes out, it can be of humiliation, job loss, spreading the word about an entire city, targeting school children, whatever, as long as it is not violent or murder.

 

 

I have this question.

 

 

A husband makes the big decision of having an affair to a MOW. The D-day arrive and you as a BS are hell bent on revenge of the OW.

 

 

Would you equally ACCEPT the MOW's BS going on a campaign of destroying your family husband, and school age children? Your husband of course would deserve the same punishment as the OW.

[AnotherSadSong]

Adding, would you tell your husband to sit down and shut up and accept the consequences and tell him, "You deserve this revenge, that her betrayed husband sent your d*ck pic to our children, the school, friends, and all our family members, you deserve it!"

[minimariah]

I think, Gloria makes a valid point. Marriage, or relationships, is a two way street.

 

it is & we all agree with that. the problem is = gloria seems to think that women on this Forum blame ONLY men for the failed relationships and marriages when that's far from being true. also, the act of infidelity is EXCLUSIVELY the cheater's fault.

 

for example -- a couple. woman refuses to have sex for no reason, man becomes frustrated & cheats. NOW... it is clear that in cases like these, the woman does have responsibility in marital problems that lead to an A but she isn't responsible and can't be responsible that her husband had decided to cheat instead of divorcing her. many ladies here "lash out" at men for the act of infidelity & for that, they can't be responsible. they can only be responsible for the marital problems prior to the cheating and those are two different things. and just because they're mad and angry, it doesn't mean that they don't realize their own responsibility.

 

many here admit that marriage failure was their fault, too. many admit that they've seen signs, too. however... we barely know ourselves, let alone someone else. folks change and one person CAN be your soulmate and a perfect match when you're 20.... but someone else can take that place when you're 45. because -- people change. YOU change.

 

Who you pick, to marry is the most important part of a marriage. If you pick someone who is selfish, who does not look out for you, and you are the same, you are going to have troubles in a marriage.

 

the thing is -- you can pick the most selfless man, who treats you like a Queen... only to have that man change slowly in the next 20 years into a selfish person who doesn't give a crap about you. life changes people, especially marriage and children, diseases, tragedies, accidents... you aren't the same. and many times, people change for the worst.

 

of course there are some obvious signs and red flags you should notice while picking your significant other but i'm not talking about that. nothing in life is guaranteed. you picking the saint of man doesn't guarantee that he will actually stay that way. it doesn't guarantee that this saint of man, won't fall in love with someone else.

 

with my xH - i picked VERY WELL. he was & is a wonderful man, friend and a father who more than redeemed himself in my eyes for his mistakes. just because we ended up growing in different directions and falling out of love -- it doesn't mean that i have chosen badly.

 

How are you going to find love, or companionship?

 

what makes you think that folks WANT love and companionship in a way YOU do?

 

Feminism has a lot to answer for...

 

about what? to who? to those who know nothing about the movement and its history? and i don't see this industry where men are portrayed as pigs - in fact, every relevant and important industry in the world is run and controlled by MEN. men run this world, not the other way around.

 

...being a friend to a man hating "feminist"...

 

feminists aren't man hating. you will find women who declare themselves as feminists & hate men -- those are NOT feminists. just based on this part of your post alone, it is clear you've never heard about feminism until it had recently became "popular" in the mainstream culture.

 

"man hating feminist" is an oxymoron, i don't know how folks don't understand that.

 

I I picked well...

 

but most of all... you were LUCKY that you didn't grow in different directions which is what often happens with "highschool & college" sweethearts. you were children when you got married -- you were fortunate enough that the entire situation turned out well for you. what the hell do you know about picking a LIFE PARTNER, at the age of 19?! so above you picking well and above you working on your marriage, the luck is what's responsible for your successful marriage -- as harsh as it sounds. you weren't "wiser" or "smarter" than those with failed marriages -- you simply had more luck. and then, from that luck later came work, communication and everything else necessary for making a relationship work.

 

the link you posted is interesting since, in my personal opinion, marrying under the age of 30 often proves as a fatal mistake for many & i will definitely advise my daughter NOT to marry until she is at least financially secure, with a degree and a job. the statistics on young marriages speak for themselves.

Edited July 13, 2015 by minimariah

[goodyblue]

Okay for those who believe the OW deserves whatever revenge and punishment the BS hashes out, it can be of humiliation, job loss, spreading the word about an entire city, targeting school children, whatever, as long as it is not violent or murder.

 

 

I have this question.

 

 

A husband makes the big decision of having an affair to a MOW. The D-day arrive and you as a BS are hell bent on revenge of the OW.

 

 

Would you equally ACCEPT the MOW's BS going on a campaign of destroying your family husband, and school age children? Your husband of course would deserve the same punishment as the OW.

 

They think it is a one way street. Most BS's are totally happy to get OW fired, but don't get their own spouse fired. I am telling you if someone messed with my livelihood and ability to feed and clothe my children I would probably retaliate. But really, not against her but the MM. I would make sure he suffered all the revenge I was being made to suffer at the hands of his wife and if it affected his wife,l, so be it. Bs's sometimes think the MM should be handled differently from OW because they can't stand the thought of her husband actively seeking out someone else to sleep with. They convince themselves that OW chased and was conniving, and is batsh*t. Not usually the case.

 

WS deserves everything AP gets. The end.

[katielee]

 

 

Would you equally ACCEPT the MOW's BS going on a campaign of destroying your family husband, and school age children? Your husband of course would deserve the same punishment as the OW.

 

yep... but I do draw the line at children. Job, family members- yep.

[AnotherSadSong]

yep... but I do draw the line at children. Job, family members- yep.

 

Easier to say sure than to go through it. The betrayed husband dumping flyers at schools, businesses, jobs, church..of all the chat message, pics if there are any, all the good stuff. Let him FB a pic of your husband and detail all the truth to it. I am sure he could squeeze the info out his wife, all the guy said and write it out for the entire community.

 

 

Bill said his wife was this and that and their marriage is going like this. Bill did this and Bill did that.

 

 

It is great that you would accept that.

[AnotherSadSong]

I guess it would be acceptable if he did not specifically target your children but of course they and all their friends and enemies would catch drift of his page and embellish it.

 

 

At school relentlessly from the kids who do not like them or are bullies: Hey Casper read your Dad is a reaaaalll Freak..laughter.

 

 

But according to most posters this is acceptable and of course the wayward would deserve the same revenge as the OW, especially by the other male betrayed spouse.

 

 

Gotcha.

[xxoo]

Adding, would you tell your husband to sit down and shut up and accept the consequences and tell him, "You deserve this revenge, that her betrayed husband sent your d*ck pic to our children, the school, friends, and all our family members, you deserve it!"

 

I wouldn't use the word "deserve", but I would consider him responsible and blame him. I would want to know the heck he was thinking and how he could put our children at such risk for his pleasure. I'd be livid at him!