badkarma2013 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Noirek..... Everyone of us damaged Sons of Bithc%s here has value...including....YOU... Never let anyone tell you different...Badkarma2013 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BurnedAndLost Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I exposed the ow to her ''husband''. She was visiting her family here out of state when it started and i made sure to wait until she was facing him when i exposed her. I didn't have his number and i didn't think he used his facebook so i made sure to forward the message to a few of his family members to make sure it got to him. She was pissed. They broke up and got back together as dhe successfully gaslighted him in to believing it wasn't that serious. A year later one of the cousins i messaged messaged me back asking if was true and asked me about the photos i had mentioned as proof. I told her that yes it was true but it was in the past and i would like to keep it that way. She agrred as they had just had a baby together and didn't want to start a mess. She is a serial cheater and still.cheats on him 3 years later. That is no longer my business. I exposed my s/o to our families. His mother was LIVID because his father also cheated on her when s/o was a kid. He is still embarrassed to be around certain family members of mine. I don't feel that any of this is revenge. I didn't harm anyone, i didn't destroy anyone's jobs or livelihood, and i didn't do anything illegal. I simply told the truth to the people that mattered. We can agree to disagree. Ive seen it here often enough. Why are you here or why are you still so angry are the final points of OW who have run out of logic. I don't agree that everyone who says "they don't care what anyone thinks" does care. If I am ok with what I am doing, I don't care what other people think. I never have and I never will. The only exception to that is people who are close to me expressing concern with something I have done. I will listen to them and take their concerns seriously, but even then if I am ok with what I am doing I will tell them so and why. I could give a fig about society's raised eyebrows. Lots of things I have done in my life would cause some in "society" to raise their eyebrows. Who cares? Why would I? I agree with the bolded. I rarely see people here who are genuine when they say things like that. It's purposely condescending and meant to insult. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
badkarma2013 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 And are you happy now? Did it erase the pain? Did anyone innocent get hurt in your crossfire? Yes and I am Happy now...with re to relationships these days..if I feel or sense ANYTHING that disturbs me or off balance...Its Goodbye Motherfu#$er..that second... self preservation is still in play.. Betrayal carries its own kind of pain.....If you have not experianced it... I cannot explain it to you... ANY COLLATERAL Damage was caused by her choice...and by their own actions.....If one cannot live with ones choices...dont do it.. Here is a great quote for all here:......"“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the CHOICES we make are ultimately our own RESPONSIBILITY.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt PS....The we ALL have to live with those choices...Badkarma2013 Link to post Share on other sites
Horton Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 There is a balance for many people between keeping an affair under wraps and blasting it to the world. Posting the dirty laundry on facebook. Barging into the place of work (entirely different when it is a co worker affair). There is a difference between informing the OBS and allowing them to handle their spouse and informing parents or children. There is a difference between sharing it with friend if it is a friend circle or family if it is family and going out of your way when you don't know the person and telling her friends. And there is a difference between selective exposure and taking out an ad in the paper. There is a difference between actions to make the AP go away and going out of your way to research them and destroy them. Maybe not to some, but most people can see the difference between extremes. Respectfully, if you don't wan't your children, parents, relatives, and co workers knowing you're an adulteress then don't engage in adultery, it really is that simple madam. As cliched as it is the old adage fits. "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." In other words it's not the betrayed spouses place to do damage control for you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Respectfully, if you don't wan't your children, parents, relatives, and co workers knowing you're an adulteress then don't engage in adultery, it really is that simple madam. As cliched as it is the old adage fits. "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." In other words it's not the betrayed spouses place to do damage control for you. I agree. The betrayed spouse gets to control the information. The betrayed spouse. Not complete strangers 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Best revenge was done by a user who posted a couple years ago (as you might have already read in the PM I sent you); BH's wife had an affair; after a few months they were busted. OM immediately broke off all contact and was desperate to keep his wife, in the meantime the wayward wife of BH wasn't really that remorseful, tried to rug sweep. They seperated shortly afterwards, and BH began his own affair with OM's wife. They got busted only a few weeks afterwards (it turned out OM had been checking his wife's stuff; cheater afraid of being cheated on ). OM begged her to come home and she did, but BH and OM's wife continued seeing each other (and OM knew). Went to BHs parents to bust him there, and family pressure more or less made BH quit pursuing OM's wife - but she had already fallen in love with BH and long story short they ended up being together which apparently "destroyed xOM's life" according to the messages he kept sending xBH's parents. xBHs divorce was easy, but his new GFs not so much because in the end, even though OM probably hated her at this point, he tried to fight her at any possible way just so she couldn't marry him. But after a year when the divorces were finally done they did marry, another year later they expected their 1st child together - another hard blow to xOM for sure, because due to fertility problems he can't have kids. Most beautifully executed revenge I've ever read. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Horton Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I agree. The betrayed spouse gets to control the information. The betrayed spouse. Not complete strangers Sure in the context of an already revealed affair, but if we're talking about an outside party exposing an affair to the betrayed spouse then I will have to disagree with that. Anybody who tells me there's a knife in my back that I didn't know about is a-okay with me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Noirek Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Best revenge was done by a user who posted a couple years ago (as you might have already read in the PM I sent you); BH's wife had an affair; after a few months they were busted. OM immediately broke off all contact and was desperate to keep his wife, in the meantime the wayward wife of BH wasn't really that remorseful, tried to rug sweep. They seperated shortly afterwards, and BH began his own affair with OM's wife. They got busted only a few weeks afterwards (it turned out OM had been checking his wife's stuff; cheater afraid of being cheated on ). OM begged her to come home and she did, but BH and OM's wife continued seeing each other (and OM knew). Went to BHs parents to bust him there, and family pressure more or less made BH quit pursuing OM's wife - but she had already fallen in love with BH and long story short they ended up being together which apparently "destroyed xOM's life" according to the messages he kept sending xBH's parents. xBHs divorce was easy, but his new GFs not so much because in the end, even though OM probably hated her at this point, he tried to fight her at any possible way just so she couldn't marry him. But after a year when the divorces were finally done they did marry, another year later they expected their 1st child together - another hard blow to xOM for sure, because due to fertility problems he can't have kids. Most beautifully executed revenge I've ever read. And such a good example of people having morals, scrupals and not being hypocrites. Link to post Share on other sites
Noirek Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Respectfully, if you don't wan't your children, parents, relatives, and co workers knowing you're an adulteress then don't engage in adultery, it really is that simple madam. As cliched as it is the old adage fits. "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." In other words it's not the betrayed spouses place to do damage control for you. This is back to the argument that one doesn't have personal responsibility if they are cheated on. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I never realized so many OW believe it's the BW's job to keep her dirty laundry from being aired. I mean it's one thing to oppose violence against the OW or vandalism of the OW's property which are criminal acts, but the level of entitlement one would have to possess to think the woman whose husband you cheated with is honor bound to keep your affair under wraps for your benefit is really on another level. I agree 100%. I've often read that the BW is always expected to take the 'high road' when no one else around her was capable of doing so. The level of hypocrisy is pretty astounding. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Horton Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 This is back to the argument that one doesn't have personal responsibility if they are cheated on. Personal responsibility for what, telling the truth exactly as it happened? You speak as though the AP is somehow being wronged by the betrayed spouse simply because they refuse to keep their mouth shut about what happened to them. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Noirek Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Personal responsibility for what, telling the truth exactly as it happened? You speak as though the AP is somehow being wronged by the betrayed spouse simply because they refuse to keep their mouth shut about what happened to them. The affair person isn't being wronged. The adult children, parents, coworkers and people forced to witness a drama they had no part of are being wronged. How hard is it to see that? The children whose parent is now unemployed. Or maybe their friends have found out at school and are being picked on. I actually witness that first hand because the BS went out of her way to inform people that it was really none of their business. As a result of that the child of the OW became a victim of bullying at school. Yeah, the parents shouldn't have been involved. But you know what. That doesn't make what the BW did okay. She had a lot of power and she used that power wrongly and it resulted in a 14 year old girl being hurt. Personal responsibility be hanged. Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Respectfully, if you don't wan't your children, parents, relatives, and co workers knowing you're an adulteress then don't engage in adultery, it really is that simple madam. As cliched as it is the old adage fits. "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." In other words it's not the betrayed spouses place to do damage control for you. Madam Noirek, I did know you were French darling. Au contraire, how do you view those stuffy English folk with their dry biscuits, crumpets, and tea. Shall we have duck tonight? Small portion of course to keep the girlie figure. I do agree with you Noirek, that of course an AP can expect backlash but when it enters into spheres that are unrelated to the crime then it becomes irrational. I would pity the AP who has to come under the wrath of a Bi polar or Borderline BS. Then it becomes a completely different set of events. Link to post Share on other sites
badkarma2013 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Personal responsibility for what, telling the truth exactly as it happened? You speak as though the AP is somehow being wronged by the betrayed spouse simply because they refuse to keep their mouth shut about what happened to them. OMG i agree ...That was THEIR CHOICE...IM not confused....Nuke them and let Them live the nightmare THEY created...Badkarma2013... Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I never realized so many OW believe it's the BW's job to keep her dirty laundry from being aired. I mean it's one thing to oppose violence against the OW or vandalism of the OW's property which are criminal acts, but the level of entitlement one would have to possess to think the woman whose husband you cheated with is honor bound to keep your affair under wraps for your benefit is really on another level. My H OW was the queen of entitlement. She was enraged at the thought that I would tell other people about the A. Then when I next heard from her she was threatening to tell "all my little friends" about the affair lol. How she thought that would work or why I would care who she told she was cheating on her husband with mine is beyond me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
badkarma2013 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 This is back to the argument that one doesn't have personal responsibility if they are cheated on. With regard to outing the WS...HE&L no....THEY created the situation ...when exposed...LET THEM NOW LIVE WITH IT.......Badkarma2013 Link to post Share on other sites
Noirek Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I agree 100%. I've often read that the BW is always expected to take the 'high road' when no one else around her was capable of doing so. The level of hypocrisy is pretty astounding. Actually the hypocrisy isn't just exhibitied the AP or WS in these cases it is quite apparent with the BS as well. The WS was expected to take the high road and failed. And then they are expected to clean themselves up and get back on it. The AP was expected to have boundaries and take the high road and failed. They are expected to work on themselves and become better people. Why should the BS have any less encouragement to do so? This is one of the worst arguments for throwing personal morals and standards out when cheated on I have ever read. I can tell you as a WS unless among like company I was never encouraged to stay off the high road. And unless among like company and affair apologetics you don't see AP encouraged to continue the low road of the affair. Many people in a bad relationship don't cheat Many people when faced with temptation don't cheat Many people when attracted to a taken person don't become AP Many people when cheated on and in pain don't throw their own morals out the window and give up personal responsibility So if we use the first examples to encourage people against certain behaviours, why can't we use the last to encourage people to keep their morals intact? Link to post Share on other sites
Noirek Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 With regard to outing the WS...HE&L no....THEY created the situation ...when exposed...LET THEM NOW LIVE WITH IT.......Badkarma2013 But outing to who? Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Would all of you go over the top and tell the workplace, all your friends, the general public all the juicy details, blatant exposure, if the AP happened to be a male lover of your husband? I would not think gender should make a difference, they tried to break your vows and take your life from you. Would they not deserve the same practice of revenge? I could imagine the reaction and embarrassment he would endure if a woman came into his workplace exposing his hidden sexuality. The looks of the employees....priceless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noirek Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Madam Noirek, I did know you were French darling. Au contraire, how do you view those stuffy English folk with their dry biscuits, crumpets, and tea. Shall we have duck tonight? Small portion of course to keep the girlie figure. I do agree with you Noirek, that of course an AP can expect backlash but when it enters into spheres that are unrelated to the crime then it becomes irrational. I would pity the AP who has to come under the wrath of a Bi polar or Borderline BS. Then it becomes a completely different set of events. I think you are addressing the wrong person! Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 You know, I was thinking about this... When someone is betrayed, there are 3 big emotiions that can come to the forefront: Hurt - I mean the person they love has betrayed them with someone else. Vows and promises broken. Mind movies....the hurt is excruciating Anger - again, the ultimate betrayal. How dare he/she? And the person who helped them do it...don't they have any respect for marriage??? The anger is almost blindingly white hot Fear - their life as they know it is threatened. Even if they are angry angry at the WS and want to smack them six ways from Sunday - the WS is still part of the life they have known, their FAMILY, the parent of their children. And this A (along with the AP) is a threat to that well-being, that life, that security, you name it. When a person A puts person B in a place where the trifecta of hurt, anger, and fear meet....person had better batton down the hatches. I'm not saying illegal or violent or irrational behavior is always justified....but if you don't want to see what a hurt/anger/terrified person will do when the fight instinct kicks in...don't set that instinct in motion. If I were in a position where I had been terribly hurt/broken down, I was angry and desperate, and I was afraid my life was about to crumble...I can;t really say what I would do either. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I think you are addressing the wrong person! You were titled by a poster as a Madam. And your view is over the top exposure and revenge is wrong. I agree. I figured you were French by the title. I could be wrong though, it would not be the first time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 The affair person isn't being wronged. The adult children, parents, coworkers and people forced to witness a drama they had no part of are being wronged. How hard is it to see that? The children whose parent is now unemployed. Or maybe their friends have found out at school and are being picked on. I actually witness that first hand because the BS went out of her way to inform people that it was really none of their business. As a result of that the child of the OW became a victim of bullying at school. Yeah, the parents shouldn't have been involved. But you know what. That doesn't make what the BW did okay. She had a lot of power and she used that power wrongly and it resulted in a 14 year old girl being hurt. Personal responsibility be hanged. Personal responsibility would be not putting your employment or your child's well being at risk by having an affair that risks those consequence's in the first place. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Personal responsibility would be not putting your employment or your child's well being at risk by having an affair that risks those consequence's in the first place. I think taking revenge against young school children to get back at an AP would enter into the sphere of major mental illness and massive problems with impulse control. It then becomes less of an expected affair liability and becomes a personal act of child abuse and I would not take that lightly. You mess with young kids with premeditation, as I read on another thread about revenge, different ball park. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
badkarma2013 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 But outing to who? Shouting it from the rooftops.... The first rule to ending an Affair is to expose it to all.... Example...The Affair.is no fun when the OMs Wife is now suing him for Divorce... Affairs cannot live in the light.... noceret mihi i vobis nocebit....Badkarma2013 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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