did i do the right thing?

[Bobby Dygytul]

i had been dating this girl for about a month now. She has always been crazy over me. I can tell that she really likes me. Well i kinda played hard to get, like not calling her when i say i was gona, breaking plans ETC. Well Saturday i called her and she said that her Ex BF was in town visiting (he lives outa state) and she said he stopped by her house.

 

She said that he told her that he still had feelings for her. She said that before, when they was seeing each other, that he cheated, lied ETC to her constantly. She said that she's not sure what she thinks right now. He told her that he has changed and that he loved her. Well i immediatly dumped her. It really pissed me off and i told her to go be with him. The next day she kept calling me. I only answered once.

 

We was planning on a skiing trip in 3 weeks and she said that she still wanted me to go with her. I told her that i didn't want to and to take that guy instead. (of course she can't coz he's going back to whereever the hell he lives) She kept asking me whats wrong and asking me why im mad. Well of course im mad, but i kept saying that i wasn't. I told her i had to go BU BYE!! that was the last time i talked to her. Did i do the right thing by dumping her?

[Dave]

I broke up with my girl because she kept in touch with her Ex BF. I know I did the right thing cause, no matter what, she just could not get rid of him, she claimed they were friends, but let's face it, honestly, there is no friendship between guy and a girl, who were sexually involved with each other.

 

In your case, if she is not sure what she thinks and what she feels, I say let her go, cause if you continue dating a girl who's heart is not with you 100%, the relationship will fail.

 

If she calls you, tell her this: "RIGHT NOW CHOOSE - IT's either ME or your EX" if she hesitates, hang up and never talk to her again....

 

THE END

i had been dating this girl for about a month now. She has always been crazy over me. I can tell that she really likes me. Well i kinda played hard to get, like not calling her when i say i was gona, breaking plans ETC. Well Saturday i called her and she said that her Ex BF was in town visiting (he lives outa state) and she said he stopped by her house. She said that he told her that he still had feelings for her. She said that before, when they was seeing each other, that he cheated, lied ETC to her constantly. She said that she's not sure what she thinks right now. He told her that he has changed and that he loved her. Well i immediatly dumped her. It really pissed me off and i told her to go be with him. The next day she kept calling me. I only answered once. We was planning on a skiing trip in 3 weeks and she said that she still wanted me to go with her. I told her that i didn't want to and to take that guy instead. (of course she can't coz he's going back to whereever the hell he lives) She kept asking me whats wrong and asking me why im mad. Well of course im mad, but i kept saying that i wasn't. I told her i had to go BU BYE!! that was the last time i talked to her. Did i do the right thing by dumping her?

[Tony T]

Dumping her was pretty stupid if you ask me. If you make critical decisions so impulsively, she deserves somebody much better so you may have done her a favor.

 

She was very honest with you in telling you this guy dropped by. She had no power to control that. Rude people drop by unexpectedly all the time without calling ahead or without other types of notice.

 

I think your ex showed a lot of ignorance in telling you about what her ex said. But there is absolutely no evidence in your post to suggest that she would want to get back with him. It's very likely she used extremely lame judgement in telling you she had to give this some thought...only because she wanted to make you jealous.

 

Well, you've learned something and she's learned something. This exchange was pretty petty and immature. Hopefully, next time you will have an intelligent, calm discussion with the lady you're seeing about various issues and problems and then make your decisions based on all the information you receive.

 

Just leave things the way they are this time. I don't think either one of you is right for the other. Both of you need some years and some lessons behind you. But I think you were very wrong in breaking up with her. Her mistake of judgement is forgiveable and this visit was NOT her fault.

 

Don't feel bad. I've bad lots worse errors in judgement myself, some of which I had to pay for for many years.

[Kaizen]

I can see why you'd dump her. You feel hurt and jealous. She's in that weird limbo state where she doesn't know where she is, and what she wants.

 

However, she has been very up front with you about this whole situation. She has told you that "she's not sure what she thinks." In addition, she told you everything that went on between her and her ex-BF. I think this is a very good sign. I think you might be a bit too harsh in dumping her, but rather, I think you could just back off a bit from the relationship, and give her some space.

 

I think you should tell her exactly what's on your mind though. Then back off and let her sort things out. If you want to stick around while she's sorting things out, then great. If not, let her know. She's been honest with you, you should treat her likewise.

 

I personally would like to encourage you to just be there for her right now, but I can understand if you don't wish to. This situation hurts.

 

Good luck to you!

 

Keep us posted on what happens.

i had been dating this girl for about a month now. She has always been crazy over me. I can tell that she really likes me. Well i kinda played hard to get, like not calling her when i say i was gona, breaking plans ETC. Well Saturday i called her and she said that her Ex BF was in town visiting (he lives outa state) and she said he stopped by her house. She said that he told her that he still had feelings for her. She said that before, when they was seeing each other, that he cheated, lied ETC to her constantly. She said that she's not sure what she thinks right now. He told her that he has changed and that he loved her. Well i immediatly dumped her. It really pissed me off and i told her to go be with him. The next day she kept calling me. I only answered once. We was planning on a skiing trip in 3 weeks and she said that she still wanted me to go with her. I told her that i didn't want to and to take that guy instead. (of course she can't coz he's going back to whereever the hell he lives) She kept asking me whats wrong and asking me why im mad. Well of course im mad, but i kept saying that i wasn't. I told her i had to go BU BYE!! that was the last time i talked to her. Did i do the right thing by dumping her?

[sparkle]

Hi Bobby D.,

 

I'm still trying to figure out what exactly she did wrong for you to be so furious and dump her. The fact that her ex stopped by out of the blue? That isn't any of her fault, she couldn't do anything about it.

 

I'm guessing though that it was because "She said that she's not sure what she thinks right now." But that's unclear as well. Maybe she was just trying to be open with you by letting you know what happened and how she felt about it.

 

But if you dumped her because her ex came and told her how he feels and got her all confused, then I think that was a pretty crappy thing for you to do. I really don't think she did anything wrong at all, but I guess it may be because of the lack of necessary details.

[clia]

I'm with sparkle on this one. You say:

 

"i had been dating this girl for about a month now. She has always been crazy over me. I can tell that she really likes me. Well i kinda played hard to get, like not calling her when i say i was gona, breaking plans ETC."

 

Sounds to me like you've been playing this girl and you got pissed off because she might have feelings for her ex. (Although all she said is that 'she's not sure what she thinks right now'.) You've only been seeing this girl for a month? Do you have a committed relationship? Doesn't sound like it to me, with the way you've been playing her. She was honest and told you the truth. Hey, she could have lied and told you nothing. She didn't even need to tell you that he stopped by.

 

I think you broke up with her because you want her to come crawling back to you and choose you over her ex, all so you can play her some more. If you cared about her, you'd tell her what bothered you. (I don't understand why you're not telling her you're mad about the ex incident if you truly are mad.) It obviously must not bother you that much if you didn't care to discuss it with her. Maybe she's just looking for some emotion from you. If you've been breaking plans with her and acting like you don't give a crap about her, then what is she to think?

 

Hey, we always want what we can't get, right? Is that why you're questioning your decision now? Are you one of those guys who hates to lose?

[Bobby Dygytul]

Well i think a big thing that i didn't like is that she has almost all guy friends and she goes out with them frequently. I don't want a girlfriend like that. All she did is talk about her guy friends and her ex boyfriends, that sicked me. Yes i do like her but i have always had a bad feeling about her and for some reason, i don't trust her. When she told me that she doesn't know what she wants, she also told me that she was really wanted to be with him.

Hi Bobby D., I'm still trying to figure out what exactly she did wrong for you to be so furious and dump her. The fact that her ex stopped by out of the blue? That isn't any of her fault, she couldn't do anything about it. I'm guessing though that it was because "She said that she's not sure what she thinks right now." But that's unclear as well. Maybe she was just trying to be open with you by letting you know what happened and how she felt about it. But if you dumped her because her ex came and told her how he feels and got her all confused, then I think that was a pretty crappy thing for you to do. I really don't think she did anything wrong at all, but I guess it may be because of the lack of necessary details.