LonelyHero Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 (edited) So i have a LDR. We keep chatting everyday in Facebook and most of the times is goes pretty well. The thing i do not like is that sometimes, when i send her a message she pretends to be offline but i can see the likes that she does to other users and this means that she is there. I have told her about this. If she is not able to talk atm just send me a message and tell that you can't . Yesterday i sent her a message at 2 in the morning, she was online , then offline and after 15 minutes she liked a picture. Today morning she told me that she didn't see it and i responded with : no problem i m getting used to it. Then she claimed that she was sleeping. So we have ignoring and lies. am i paranoid? Do i see ghosts? Edited July 11, 2015 by LonelyHero Link to post Share on other sites
Snakechammah Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 It sucks when you can't trust the one you love. But why on earth are you using FB as a means of communication? Don't you have whatsapp or smart phones? I mean who glues themselves to FB 24/7 and is obliged to use that as a chat platform everyday?? I used to do a lot of LDRs and we'd text regularly by phone. I cannot understand 'texting' via FB. It would mean you'd have to log in 24/7 and FB is distracting enough as it is!! I think it's paranoia. It helps to be less needy! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 The fact that you pay attention to this boggles my mind. You cannot build a relationship via FB so stop trying. It you want to interact with her call or better Skype / Facetime. Facebook is not the solution to or cause of your problems. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LonelyHero Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Yeah guys thanks for the replies . I think i m gonna apologise once again... but if she didn't do this i would have been so happy. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 Paranoia will annoy her. Why are you in a LDR? Is this an online relationship or have you spent some time together and happen to be long distance atm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LonelyHero Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 Paranoia will annoy her. Why are you in a LDR? Is this an online relationship or have you spent some time together and happen to be long distance atm. We were toghether from oktober till december 2014 then i moved to Germany and we haven't seen each other since then. I am here to work maybe to study and i don't know if or when i will go back to her. But it comes to my mind to invite her here with me... Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 We were toghether from oktober till december 2014 then i moved to Germany and we haven't seen each other since then. I am here to work maybe to study and i don't know if or when i will go back to her. But it comes to my mind to invite her here with me... When you moved away, did you expressly agree to continue the relationship? If you don't even know if you will return to where she is, I think it's more or less over between you. You've been apart longer than you were together. That's not really the basis for a relationship. How old are you both, and how far apart are you exactly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LonelyHero Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 When you moved away, did you expressly agree to continue the relationship? If you don't even know if you will return to where she is, I think it's more or less over between you. You've been apart longer than you were together. That's not really the basis for a relationship. How old are you both, and how far apart are you exactly? I said that i will keep annoying her everyday with my messages and she said that she loves it. Not a more serious conversation was made. I m 24 she is 19. The distance is 2 hours with the airplane. Yeah this is not the ideal relationship... but you know .. i like the idea of it Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 She is far too young to be locked into a LDR. She will not have the emotional capability to keep this going and hence her "lies" and her disconnection from you. Increasingly for a 19 yo* real life will start intruding and will take precedence over you. Fine to have a long distance bf, but there is not enough there to keep a 19yo agog and interested enough to hang on your every word. I agree with ExpatInItaly this is not a basis for a real relationship and by her lack of passion and interest in you, I also guess this is all over bar the shouting. *The Teen Brain: It's Just Not Grown Up Yet : NPR 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I must say Facebook and other digital platforms/apps have ruined many a relationship. Plus helped others think they were in a relationship that is actually a fantasy. Sorry OP this looks like a dying horse. She's too young, as another poster pointed out, and her real life is already getting in the way. Sounds also like your overseas obligations plus the casual way you left things has doused whatever passion was there. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2015 Share Posted July 11, 2015 I said that i will keep annoying her everyday with my messages and she said that she loves it. Not a more serious conversation was made. I m 24 she is 19. The distance is 2 hours with the airplane. Yeah this is not the ideal relationship... but you know .. i like the idea of it Then I don't think this is a relationship, to be honest. I think she likes your attention but doesn't really consider you to be a boyfriend. Inviting her to come to you would probably not be a great idea right now. I think you should date locally and not pin any hopes on this. She's so young and will likely date many guys before she finds one with whom she wants a long-term commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
bada bing Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 You are monitoring her and stalking her too much online...giver her room. This will come across as needy and will eventually push her away. Link to post Share on other sites
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