Depressed with Job (and life) - Leave or Stay?

[SixthSt.Girl]

For those of you who aren't familiar with my work history (I've posted on the Business Relationships board a few times), I've been working part-time in sales at a small, locally-owned, store. I have a general communications degree with a concentration in business management. I was considering retail management for some time. I got into the sales job shortly out of college to gain experience, then got into a management trainee program a few months later. I ended up hating the job and the business, so I quit and my previous boss took me back at the store. This was a few months ago.

 

I've been struggling to figure out what I want to do - my career life has been dominating my entire life lately, making me pretty miserable at times. My parents have been helping me out with rent, which has me feeling degraded. I had a good college internship that made me self-sufficient. I could've gotten on full-time with that business, but decided against it because I didn't like being behind a desk all day. I've been reaching for different things I see in the paper, with no luck. It hurts so much to get my hopes up to be turned down. The sad part is that these jobs aren't really that exciting to me. I just want to be able to make it on my own. I don't want a high-profile job. My dad said the degree was just a general degree to get me started, and that I'd probably have to go back to school to get specialized. I didn't know what I wanted to do through most of college. I've been thinking about veterinary technology. It's something that I wanted to do after high school, but my dad said I needed a four-year degree. I'm thinking of going back to school to become a vet tech, but am wondering if it's really worth it - they don't make much money. The vet assistant jobs and some of the vet tech jobs don't even require a degree, but I've had little luck applying to those. I actually heard back from one, but found out that it wasn't as close to this area as I thought it was, and everyone is telling me not to go for it since it would mean moving to a place where I know no one.

 

Anyway, the reason I am writing this is, on top of everything, I've not been happy in my current job lately. We have a new manager that I don't like, and I dread going in. It's just so degrading to have to sit around and wait the whole week doing nothing, just to go in there for two or three days - being so dormant the rest of the time makes it so hard to go in there and do a good job. Fact is, I'm not a natural salesperson and only went for it because sales and retail is one of the few things I can do with this worthless degree. Whenever they inquire about my job search, I don't have anything positive to say, which makes me feel worse. I had talked to my boss about quiting when the new manager came because I suspected she is dishonest and still do - I didn't want what she did to come back to hurt me somehow. He talked me into staying saying that he wants me there because he can trust me to tell him what's going on. I've noticed a few things missing since she has been here - things that customers have mentioned seeing before, or things that will come up in a conversation, and that I suddenly realize are missing. It's hard to for me to prove because she moved everything when she started and has still been moving things around. She keeps putting off doing inventory, which would be the only real way to determine what's missing. My life is just a wreck. My dad, who is a business professor, and former manager, advised me leaving when this manger first came. I want to go, but don't want to be totally jobless. It's really not enough money to help me much, but I can say to prospective employers that I am employed now. I know this is something I need to decide for myself, but I have been so down lately that I don't trust my judgement. This job stuff has been a constant thorn in my side that won't go away. I tried going to therapy sessions, but quit because I don't want to spend my parents money. It was their idea to go, and I know I need to do something to help myself, but I don't know what. I am honestly trying to get my career on track, but I guess life is just out to get me, because nothing I do goes right. I guess I just need someone objective to talk to - so, does anyone have advice and/or been where I am?

[deemanct]

Hi there SixthSt. girl.

I'm not familiar with you, but it sounds like a bit of a predicament (spelling?). I'm middle aged, and looking back, I had a time of exploration at the start, trying to find the career path I wanted to follow. Don't dispair about wanting to make a change. I think it's normal and healthy to want to feel good about your chosen path, especially when you know that you don't feel good about it at present. I've ended up in a completely different field from the one I started out in way back when, with a few others explored in between.

 

This is off the cuff, but have you considered possibly becoming self employed as a freelance what ever? You may be able to contact local businesses and explain to them that you have this degree and experience, you're trying to venture out on your own, and you like the idea of maybe doing some work for them and then see what they say. Emphasize the positive... talk about what you like, not about that you've been unhappy with your recent work. Talk about all that you'd like to be doing with/for them.

 

Even if they don't have anything for you, they may be able to network you with other people. Never underestimate the power of people out there in the worka day world sharing your name and number saying you're looking to work freelance. I've been self employed for many years, and I make a decent living doing it. I bet you could too.

What do you think about that option? Write back and let me know.

[deemanct]

It's me again.

 

I meant to ask you, what sort of work do people with Communications Degrees do?

[SixthSt.Girl]

I've never really thought about going into business for myself. I guess I'm just not that ambitious. A vendor suggested starting up a business like the store I work at, but I didn't think much of it. I don't really know many people in town anymore, and the market is so tough. Our store is having tough times, and our owner knows a lot more people than I do and has tons more capital.

 

My college classes were mainly in business communication - learning about communication theories, different workplace cultures, listening styles, etc. I also had classes in sales, marketing, and business management. My concentration was in business management. People I went to school with went into sales, marketing, and management mostly. I went to a community school with a lot of adults who were already working and simply wanted to move up in their current business and had a good idea of what they wanted to do. Some are getting master's degrees to teach. In short, my degree really doesn't guarantee a job - people are often confused by it and what it allows me to do. Believe it or not, car salesman ads are in all the time wanting "college graduates with good communication skills." I've actually cut a few out of the paper, but decided against it - just can't see myself doing it. I have a hard enough time selling jewelry. I'd like to get specialized into something - whether it be hairdressing, cooking, technical work, etc. I've never wanted a high profile job, just something to get me by that I can forget about at the end of the day. Some schools have certificate programs in things like paralegal studies that are made for people with degrees, so I'm thinking about that route.

[faux]

Does your community college happen to offer services for alumni, such as career services counseling and job placement? I know mine does. Perhaps they can help you figure out where you can get started.

[suegail]

Have you ever considered nursing? I'm a nurse and this field is very wide open, and will stay that way for years to come. I work in a hospital and it's not at all unusual to get calls from recruiters from across the country: "Are you an RN? Are you happy where you are? We'll pay your way here and pay you high wages."

 

I work with nurses who are going on for bigger degrees, nurse practitioner, nurse anesthetist, nurse clinician and often what they do is sign on with hospitals who've agreed to foot most of the bill for their continued education if they committ to a year or two with that hospital.

 

Depending upon the state you're in, you can get a two year nursing degree and work as an RN on that and go on for a bachelors later if you prefer it.

 

I hope things work out for you and you find something you really enjoy.

[bicyclejunk]

i've been there and in some ways are still there.

 

I hate my job and have other non-related skills that could

get me a job that i truly would love, only I tend to get into such a

rut.

 

PLUS, i've been notorius for believing in something, but then wondering if

it's right belief...meaning...I really love graphic design, but what if i throw myself

fully into it, only to find out I would really end up hating doing it for my

career choice. then that'd be Time Wasted.

 

It's tough, but you have to just keep on until you figure out exactly what it is

you want do. But you should be sampling things and trying different things here

and there and also realize, no job is going to be perfect. Jobs require work no matter

what and work isn't always fun.

 

My girlfriend is also going thru the very same thing as you. She went thru college not knowing

what she wanted to do and never finished school. She still does not know what she wants to

do and it's very frustrating for her. She's tried a bunch of things but she just works at a music

store and a department store to support herself. She hates it, but she'd rather that than

be stuck in an office as a secretary. She's working there while she figures out her path.

She's thought about cooking school, Cosmetology, art...she just hasn't found the right thing yet.

Right now, she's focussing on Cooking school, so maybe she could one day open a bakery

or something. It just costs money.

 

I try and encourage her the best I can, but you can't force something.

[bicyclejunk]

I went thru college and changed my major 3 times.

 

You're not alone in feeling frustrated on what to do with your life.

Also, i've been very tempted to take a Hig-Profile job just to make good

money, but I know for a fact that i'd be miserable and wouldn't

have time to chase the goals i dream about. Like i said, my girl holds

two easy, flexible jobs while she tries out other things, goes to seminars,

looks into schools, etc.

 

Good luck with your path.

[SixthSt.Girl]

Thank you all for your encouragement and ideas - I've been reading through the posts and have been taking time to do some soul-searching to find out what will make me happy. I've narrowed it down to a couple of fields, have been to a couple interviews, and have done some shadowing. I may have to go to school for a couple more years, but hopefully I can work during that time to help pay for it. I'd rather do that then work a part-time job I'm not happy with while hoping my dream job will just show up in the want ads one day. I feel better that I have a clearer picture of my future, but have still been going into bouts of depression. I've talked myself out of them, and may mention this problem to the doctor when I have my yearly exam. Thanks again for the advice and for reading my extremely long post.