EricaH329 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I'm here, yet again, posting about my problem. I'm supposed to leave this state, and move back home, in 2 days. But i've been feeling *very* uneasy about it. I think that I know I should go. But I love my boyfriend. My brain (while being depressed and anxiety ridden) has told me that I should leave... but my heart is telling me to stay. I've had nightmares about moving back home... but my family really wants me there. I don't know what to do, and it's coming so close to the time i'm leaving. I just want my boyfriend to tell me to stay. But he hasn't. Although he has alluded to it. I don't know what to do!! And it's breaking my heart! Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 when a man loves a woman.. he is paralyzed without her. take faith .. if he loves you, he will remain yours. if he's not... he will be off and you will be better off knowing. family is extremely important.. don't jerk them around either Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Share Posted July 12, 2015 when a man loves a woman.. he is paralyzed without her. take faith .. if he loves you, he will remain yours. if he's not... he will be off and you will be better off knowing. family is extremely important.. don't jerk them around either You're right. He hasn't asked me to stay, so why should I? I don't know your situation, so I cant comment on all that. All I do know is that if I am with a woman that I have to convince to stay with me, I am going to let her go. You don't have to convince me. Just ask me to stay. I'd do it for him. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 You guys sound like you barely talk. Surely when talk came up of you moving back to be near your family, he had something to say about it? Why wasn't there a discussion of 'shall we both move, shall we both stay, or shall we do LDR'? How long have you been together? Even though you want him to ask you to stay, the clock is ticking and I think you need to actually speak to him seriously and ask him where he sees the relationship going. Just for your own peace of mind if nothing else. There's a tiny chance he does want you to stay but just doesn't want to get in the way of your plans or be a nuisance misguidedly but I'd be careful with that kind of thinking: the most obvious answer is if he isn't asking you to stay, he doesn't desperately want you to stay. You sound a lot more invested here than him, saying if he asked you to stay he would... has he actually said anything about you leaving and the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I'm here, yet again, posting about my problem. I'm supposed to leave this state, and move back home, in 2 days. But i've been feeling *very* uneasy about it. I think that I know I should go. But I love my boyfriend. My brain (while being depressed and anxiety ridden) has told me that I should leave... but my heart is telling me to stay. I've had nightmares about moving back home... but my family really wants me there. I don't know what to do, and it's coming so close to the time i'm leaving. I just want my boyfriend to tell me to stay. But he hasn't. Although he has alluded to it. I don't know what to do!! And it's breaking my heart! How long have you been dating him? What is the reason for you moving home? What has he said about you leaving? Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I just saw your other thread where you mentioned your bf asked to live separately anyway and continue to date, which pretty much everyone know is the death knell for most relationships. It's what most people say when they don't have the heart to actually end it, they just try and slowly disengage at great pain to the other person. One in a thousand actually work on the relationship and move back in together but for the other 999, it's simply a way of separating themselves from the relationship. I wouldn't be so quick to stay if he just asked you, he wants to live separately so it would be pretty awful of him to ask you to stay in your current city while you've taken a step back and aren't even living together and sharing expenses. Go home, be with your friends and family, if the relationship is strong enough it will survive, but adding the distance of a LDR onto an already shaky foundation isn't going to help. I'm sorry you're going through this but it sounds like your family will be of more support to you right now while you're trying to manage your depression than your partner. Maybe you're just panicking and having second thoughts now it's starting to become real. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I should mention that the day I was diagnosed with severe depression, my live-in boyfriend suggested we move apart and begin dating again that way. Since things with him haven't been great, and still aren't, I agreed. I copied this quote from one of your posts in your last thread. I think your boyfriend has made it PAINFULLY clear how he feels. He has no problem whatsoever with you moving away back home. Honestly, I think he sees this as an opportunity to bring this relationship to an end. I think his suggestion that you have a long distance relationship was really more gratuitous than anything else. I think he said it to appease you, is all. I think the painful truth is that he doesn't want you stay and that's why he hasn't ask you to stay. You need to face that this relationship is over. Link to post Share on other sites
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