What was the most mind boggling or insane thing your MM or MW said?

[AnotherSadSong]

Two weeks before we broke off our 4 year relationship or whatever it was, he plopped on the large leather couch I have in my room, arms crossed and legs crossed with his grin I used to adore, and said you know I am really getting used to this. (The man couch) I like it. It was his spot.

 

 

He said the most awful things in our huge nuclear fight 2 weeks later.

 

 

Oh well, it was all fake.

[Popsicle]

Two things. He has had A LOT of friends who have died and when I once asked him if he ever gets sad about that, he said no never, that he's not the "misty-eyed" type.

 

Well, jeez, so you just feel nothing?

 

Also, when he exclaimed to me that he needed a vacation away from his wife and kids after JUST getting back from being away from them for months (due to work).

 

Mind boggling.

[AnotherSadSong]

Two things. He has had A LOT of friends who have died and when I once asked him if he ever gets sad about that, he said no never, that he's not the "misty-eyed" type.

 

Well, jeez, so you just feel nothing?

 

Also, when he exclaimed to me that he needed a vacation away from his wife and kids after JUST getting back from being away from them for months (due to work).

 

Mind boggling.

 

 

Sorry Popsicle, but I had to laugh at the misty-eyed type. And the vacation too. I think you dodged the bull on that one.

[Popsicle]

Sorry Popsicle, but I had to laugh at the misty-eyed type. And the vacation too. I think you dodged the bull on that one.

 

I know. I feel sorry for his wife.

[MissBee]

The mind-boggling stuff mine said were more so stuff that were a bit unrealistic.

 

One that sticks out for me was when in all seriousness he suggested that when I come visit him next time I stay at his place. His SO worked out of town so she didn't live with him most times; however, their son lived with him. I was like are you nuts? I'm just gonna stay at your house for 2 weeks, your son will be there, he won't be wondering who is this random woman? And your SO can pop up and sometimes does pop up at any time, so yea that will be great...one big happy family. He saw nothing at all amiss with that suggestion.

 

 

Oh another mind-boggling thing I found odd, but at the time was flattered by it, but not flattered to the point of it not registering as weird, was that he often referred to me as Mrs.His Last Name. He and his SO were never married so it's only slightly less bizarre, since she technically wasn't Mrs.His Last Name, but nevertheless it was weird. Sometimes he'd text me and address me as " Mrs.Smith " (not his actual last name). I sometimes called him by just his last name and so sometimes I'd say "Smith? Where are you?" Or something and his response would be "Smith...I'm at work." And things like that. I'm sure at the time I thought part of it was cute and if it wasn't an A maybe it would have been sort of cute but ultimately it was just a bizarre fantasy.

Edited July 12, 2015 by MissBee

[AnotherSadSong]

The mind-boggling stuff mine said were more so stuff that were a bit unrealistic.

 

One that sticks out for me was when in all seriousness he suggested that when I come visit him next time I stay at his place. His SO worked out of town so she didn't live with him most times; however, their son lived with him. I was like are you nuts? I'm just gonna stay at your house for 2 weeks, your son will be there, he won't be wondering who is this random woman? And your SO can pop up and sometimes does pop up at any time, so yea that will be great...one big happy family. He saw nothing at all amiss with that suggestion.

 

 

Oh another mind-boggling thing I found odd, but at the time was flattered by it, but not flattered to the point of it not registering as weird, was that he often referred to me as Mrs.His Last Name. He and his SO were never married so it's only slightly less bizarre, since she technically wasn't Mrs.His Last Name, but nevertheless it was weird. Sometimes he'd text me and address me as " Mrs.Smith " (not his actual last name). I sometimes called him by just his last name and so sometimes I'd say "Smith? Where are you?" Or something and his response would be "Smith...I'm at work." And things like that. I'm sure at the time I thought part of it was cute and if it wasn't an A maybe it would have been sort of cute but ultimately it was just a bizarre fantasy.

 

Sounds to me that he was quite smitten of you. The coming over and living there is one giant OMG!

[HappyAgain2014]

I have a list on this topic:

 

*My word is my bond.

*I've always kept my word to you.

*I wish I'd met you before my wife.

*I don't consider my wife to be my family, just my kids.

*My kids will love you.

*If my wife found out about the affair, I'd be relieved.

*My dead mother came to me in a dream to say how disappointed she was in me.

 

After she knew and he sent an email to me he knew his wife would see:

 

*I owe you, my wife, and kids an apology for my terrible act of indiscretion (9 months but I guess he could call it whatever he wanted).

*I told you several times things were better between my wife and I (never happened).

*I tried to end our relationship several times (actually I did and he cried and begged me not to).

*Per your wishes, I won't contact you again.

*I pray you forgive me.

 

Writing all of this shows me how pathetically conflict avoidant and cowardly he was. I was in such a different state of mind then. Never again.

[AnotherSadSong]

I have a list on this topic:

 

*My word is my bond.

*I've always kept my word to you.

*I wish I'd met you before my wife.

*I don't consider my wife to be my family, just my kids.

*My kids will love you.

*If my wife found out about the affair, I'd be relieved.

*My dead mother came to me in a dream to say how disappointed she was in me.

 

After she knew and he sent an email to me he knew his wife would see:

 

*I owe you, my wife, and kids an apology for my terrible act of indiscretion (9 months but I guess he could call it whatever he wanted).

*I told you several times things were better between my wife and I (never happened).

*I tried to end our relationship several times (actually I did and he cried and begged me not to).

*Per your wishes, I won't contact you again.

*I pray you forgive me.

 

Writing all of this shows me how pathetically conflict avoidant and cowardly he was. I was in such a different state of mind then. Never again.

 

 

They are masters of manipulation and changing stories and words around to benefit their 'situation.' I am curious if they believe their own BS.

 

 

Indiscretion? Like it was a one night stand. They really are unbelievable!

[nikki76]

I could write a book on all the obnoxious stuff he said.

 

He always used to say " I wish you didn't love me so much"

 

Or "I always knew you found me attractive ".

 

His son was in therapy and recommend he do a few sessions. xmm said the therapist was the only person he told about the A. She said she was happy for him. Because he's always so busy pleasing everyone else, in all of his work and side work he does, that it's about time he did something for himself. Are you kidding me? Either this therapist got her license from a cracker jack box or mm is full of horse sh.t.

[AnotherSadSong]

I could write a book on all the obnoxious stuff he said.

 

He always used to say " I wish you didn't love me so much"

 

Or "I always knew you found me attractive ".

 

His son was in therapy and recommend he do a few sessions. xmm said the therapist was the only person he told about the A. She said she was happy for him. Because he's always so busy pleasing everyone else, in all of his work and side work he does, that it's about time he did something for himself. Are you kidding me? Either this therapist got her license from a cracker jack box or mm is full of horse sh.t.

 

That last paragraph is more than funny! It is hilarious. Yeah right. You could write a book. He sure likes to paraphrase reality with his imagination.

[nikki76]

Another thing that comes to mind.

 

He would often go into detail about him and his wife recent sexual experiences. What she wore, didn't wear, what position, where they were, etc.

 

And he would often ask me when the last time I had sex. I'd tell him and he'd always say, "I'm so happy you two have such a great sex life. "

 

I always found this odd.

[nikki76]

That last paragraph is more than funny! It is hilarious. Yeah right. You could write a book. He sure likes to paraphrase reality with his imagination.

 

Or....hes also sleeping with the therapist lol

[Poppy47]

He said a lot of odd things... told me what a great housewife his wife is.

 

He said something really macabre not long before I broke it all off. He said if his wife died, he would be on my doorstep before I could blink. It was a very callous thing to say and played on my mind a lot.

 

Poppy.

[still_an_Angel]

MM told me a long time ago that he could seriously see us lasting a long time, like many years - easy. Because we started as a D/s relationship, I thought, yeah, yada yada yada, I can always find a better dom than you.

 

 

But I think about this now and wonder how long I can keep up with this. We seem to fly through the years with no hitches (so far), we hardly fight although we disagree on a lot of things. We have never said unkind words to each other and everything seems to go along well. But what if he has no intention of ever letting me go? Although he lets me be and I do have my own stuff and interests, I keep coming back to him, like no matter how far I go I will always find my way back to him.

 

 

A friend told me his control over me is so perfect I don't even see it.

[solostand]

When his daughter had a baby and he told me his name to the baby was going to be "Poppy" he then said "We'll have to come up with a name for you." Yeah, like mistress nanny or something.

 

When he was laid up for six weeks due to shoulder surgery, he told me he was trying to figure out a way he could hire me to be his nurse.

 

And of course, the worst one ever. "I am so in love with you that I was actually trying to think of a way to kill my wife."

 

Oh, and the lovely "All I have to do is look at my wife naked and I get erectile dysfunction".

[NewLeaf512]

My ExMM was for sure co-dependant and I believe his BW may have narcissistic traits. (I knew both of them as BH and BW for 5 years before he told me they were divorcing and separating)

 

Sayings: I wish my family would disappear

He seldom referenced them as anything but "my obligations "

He often referred to himself as a weak spineless coward (why didn't I listen!)

 

Behaviour: after I was aware he was married he started to get sloppy and send me texts or emails intended for her about dinner plans etc.

 

He is a lay minister in his church and delivers communion

 

His PRIEST phoned me with MM in the room a year ago after he confessed he did naughty behaviour in the shower imagining me ?!?!

 

But by far the most bizarre (he has only one friend a man, BW believes in attachment marriage, like attachment parenting) he told his only friend, his brother, and his parents he is leaving the marriage, instructs and pays lawyer retainer,(photos of all legal documents and receipts texted to me) packs a bag and takes it to his parents, records the discussion where his parents say he can stay there and although they are sorry they feel it's for the best and he should have done it sooner (odd) sends it to me (odder). We talk and he is completely obnoxious, I tell him that his behaviour towards me has been appalling, I had no self respect, I was horrible to his family for carrying on this way, I didn't want to continue.

 

Response "we haven't seen each other or been physical since you found out about P 2 years and 16 days ago"

 

I'm dumbstruck. We talk everyday. Video chat. Intimate emails, I've helped you plan your divorce to supposedly be with me. Tell each other we love each other. It's wrong.

 

Response: "it's not an A it hasn't been for 2 years we aren't having sex"

 

I said... If you don't believe this is an A you're mad. I'm not continuing and if you get in touch again I am calling BW.

 

Response: I know what this is .. You have someone else (no)

Me: I'm a mistress you are an adulterer and if you ever contact me again I have no choice but to call BW

 

He then creates his own DDay within 4 hours, they phone me, poor BW is crying. Call over. This was 2 July and they are the happy Christian couple. I'm hoping for the best for them but who knows how it will turn out.

[cocorico]

What was the most mind boggling or insane thing your MM or MW said?

 

that he loved his (then)BW.

 

IC helped him to come to terms with how ridiculous that was.

[Popsicle]

These are great. I love this thread.

[RainDown]

In one of our first conversations after first meeting, the topic of marital status came up and MM said, "Well, yeah, I'm married. But not THAT married."

 

I admit I laughed (I know, bad Rain), but even though it was a pretty outrageous thing to say I found it better than the usual, "Well, yeah, I'm married, but my wife doesn't understand me or <insert some other cliche here>."

 

Outrageous, yes, but at least honest.

 

Then there was the one who referred to his wife as "The Warden". I don't think I ever heard him use the word wife - it was always "The Warden". And not just to me; he referred to her that way in front of everyone.

[AnotherSadSong]

In one of our first conversations after first meeting, the topic of marital status came up and MM said, "Well, yeah, I'm married. But not THAT married."

 

He did that to, I wish I had not married, but it depended on the orbit of the moon and switched around to positive references.

[privategal]

Two weeks before we broke off our 4 year relationship or whatever it was, he plopped on the large leather couch I have in my room, arms crossed and legs crossed with his grin I used to adore, and said you know I am really getting used to this. (The man couch) I like it. It was his spot.

 

 

He said the most awful things in our huge nuclear fight 2 weeks later.

 

 

Oh well, it was all fake.

Especially for you right now...Id first get rid of that couch...no question...but paint...rearrange...get new bedding...get plants...burn sage...plan a weekend get away...HE IS A LOSER...a fake...a fraud...let his wife HAVE this cheating @sshole who laid around on your furniture, wasted your time, then called you "just a f%×&"

You need his presence in your home erased.

Stupid as it sounds I made a beautiful relaxing spot with a little table and a plant...blue green soft blankets...a space that was new.

Then I searched my citys website for events, adventure, and I signed up for yoga and added about 100,000 positive inspirational sights on facebook and changed all my music. He's got the same stale life...the one he tried to escape from...make yours NEW and better. Dig in. Ohhhh I also got a tatoo. Interesting how that pain helps the heart pain.

He hated tatoos. It was my own private FU.

Once I changed my number...finally...I swear the pain began to lift. We only get one life...dont wait til your done healing...live through the pain...at first your dragging...sobbing through events...enraged with anger sometimes too...then moments your dying to go back to the good times..then...someday...sometime...You notice one person CAN'T be your sole happiness! You got this!

[nikki76]

My ExMM was for sure co-dependant and I believe his BW may have narcissistic traits. (I knew both of them as BH and BW for 5 years before he told me they were divorcing and separating)

 

Sayings: I wish my family would disappear

He seldom referenced them as anything but "my obligations "

He often referred to himself as a weak spineless coward (why didn't I listen!)

 

Behaviour: after I was aware he was married he started to get sloppy and send me texts or emails intended for her about dinner plans etc.

 

He is a lay minister in his church and delivers communion

 

His PRIEST phoned me with MM in the room a year ago after he confessed he did naughty behaviour in the shower imagining me ?!?!

 

But by far the most bizarre (he has only one friend a man, BW believes in attachment marriage, like attachment parenting) he told his only friend, his brother, and his parents he is leaving the marriage, instructs and pays lawyer retainer,(photos of all legal documents and receipts texted to me) packs a bag and takes it to his parents, records the discussion where his parents say he can stay there and although they are sorry they feel it's for the best and he should have done it sooner (odd) sends it to me (odder). We talk and he is completely obnoxious, I tell him that his behaviour towards me has been appalling, I had no self respect, I was horrible to his family for carrying on this way, I didn't want to continue.

 

Response "we haven't seen each other or been physical since you found out about P 2 years and 16 days ago"

 

I'm dumbstruck. We talk everyday. Video chat. Intimate emails, I've helped you plan your divorce to supposedly be with me. Tell each other we love each other. It's wrong.

 

Response: "it's not an A it hasn't been for 2 years we aren't having sex"

 

I said... If you don't believe this is an A you're mad. I'm not continuing and if you get in touch again I am calling BW.

 

Response: I know what this is .. You have someone else (no)

Me: I'm a mistress you are an adulterer and if you ever contact me again I have no choice but to call BW

 

He then creates his own DDay within 4 hours, they phone me, poor BW is crying. Call over. This was 2 July and they are the happy Christian couple. I'm hoping for the best for them but who knows how it will turn out.

 

Trust me 110%, there are anything but the happy Christian couple. Don't worry about that. Just be thankful you dodged a bullet and now she is the one stuck in the miserable relationship, not you. Go be free like you deserve!

[AnotherSadSong]

I thought if another one.

 

 

I mentioned at one time I like his new FB profile pic and he gasped and said, "Omg are you FB stalking me!" He could be so soap opera dramatic. This after he accidently made not one but several references to things I had done that he would have known only from my profile page. When I asked, how did you know that or where I went ? He said nervously, you must have told me. Also after seeing friends requests accidently pushed and rescinded in my mailbox from him!

Edited July 12, 2015 by AnotherSadSong

[NewLeaf512]

I thought if another one.

 

 

I mentioned at one time I like his new FB profile pic and he gasped and said, "Omg are you FB stalking me!" He could be so soap opera dramatic. This after he accidently made not one but several references to things I had done that he would have known only from my profile page. When I asked, how did you know that or where I went ? He said nervously, you must have told me. Also after seeing friends requests accidently pushed and rescinded in my mailbox from him!

 

 

Do you know how to check who is viewing your FB page?

[AnotherSadSong]

Do you know how to check who is viewing your FB page?

 

 

You cannot check who has been viewing it. He made references to things I did or about me that he would only know from FB and accidental friends requests that show up in mailbox. I never thought it was stalking but curiosity.