digger Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 14 months into my separation and 8 months into the divorce, with NO contact from her minus some eensy emails about come pick up your things, Im leaving tomorrow for another state where I have a job interview. Its where we lived before and the EW was so happy. Then the divorce and she and my daughter literally blotted me out of their memory banks. I'll concede when I was 17 I didnt give a rats *** about my parents either so i can understand her coolness. But even where Im going is also where my son is, Im used to be away from him and living 4 states over. Hes 31 (retarded, still my 8 yr old). Im not used to be away from my daughter and I really shakes me that--you know. people do reconcile but how will i ever show the EW the new "happy" me if im 500 miles away? Or maybe if i do move, she'll see that "my god he is serious about getting on with his life". I dont know how to look at it--as if i should at all. The EW had this so called b/f she was moving to Texas for til my daughter put her foot down and the EW told her 'we'll wait til after you finish high school". Now shes sold the house and bought another one here. I would have thot if she were so hell bent on going there, she'd rent for a year. I wonder if she still isnt confused in her own way and whether I'll blow any chance if i get up and go myself. Matter of factly, Id rather probably be miserable and little longer just to wait and see how it all unfolds, than go somewhere to make a statement and blow any chance of her "coming to" in say, 6 months. So what say ye? Link to post Share on other sites
jade_nc Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 i'm confused - is the divorce already final? if so, why do you think there's still a chance she'll come around? are you hoping to re-marry? Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Go and start your new life closer to your son. Your daughter will miss you but please keep in touch with her, and do NOT keep in touch with your ex THROUGH your daughter. Don't even ask about your ex. Your only concern should be how your daughter is doing and maintaing that relationship. I know you don't like hearing that you need to move on. I believe that you know deep down that is what you have to do. Please don't make the reason for moving another ploy to try and get your ex back. What she is thinking or feeling should be the farthest thing from your mind right now. Think about yourself. This is your time to be selfish and do the things you've always wanted to do on your own. Don't waste it. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 Out of curiosity...when you beg, plead (used to) then ask about EW thru the kid, how apt is the other person to say "geez i can have him back anytime i want". Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 People usually want the things they cant have. Or the things they need to work very hard to get. When you tell someone they can treat you like crap, and you'll still be there for them, why would they want you? hehe Let me reread this because I need to let it sink into my head too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 i guess its like alcohol. You have 4 and you want another but its become sunday and the stores just shut off booze sales. Now that its not available is when you really want it. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 who is the alcohol....you? or her? lol ...if you love something set it free..... you know the rest hon. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by digger [sNIP] Im not used to be away from my daughter and I really shakes me that--you know. people do reconcile but how will i ever show the EW the new "happy" me if im 500 miles away? Or maybe if i do move, she'll see that "my god he is serious about getting on with his life". I dont know how to look at it--as if i should at all. [sNIP]... So what say ye? I say you shouldn't at all. Your other postings have indicated that she no longer considers you part of her life, whether the "old miserable" you, or the "new happy" you. So I'm afraid that your location, emotional state, & any other of your attributes are likely irrelevant, as far as she's concerned. Perhaps you should look at this as a new beginning. It's how I viewed the aftermath of my divorce. I relocated back to Wisconsin, & started what I called my "new life." Link to post Share on other sites
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