Don't know where else to turn

[gamergal]

I got a FB message from a random person I've never heard of, telling me my husband cheated on me right before our wedding.

 

The profile looks like it's almost fake, I think it's even been deleted. There was no profile picture, like someone just created the account to be able to send me a message.

 

I never once thought my husband would have cheated on me. But this plants the little seed of doubt.

 

He's always home with me, we usually go out together, so the only real time he'd have to cheat is while he's at work.

 

I don't know what to think, I did ask him about it, he didn't get angry or upset with me grilling him about it, but he denied it completely, saying he's always been faithful and wouldn't do anything so stupid to jeopardize our family.

 

What would you do in my shoes?

[LoveRefreshed]

scenarios: Close friend of your husband wants to maintain anonymity but feels your husband doesn't deserve you.

 

 

'Friend' of yours who wants more than friendship. Trying to manipulate you into cheating or ending things with husband.

 

Friend of your husbands who wants to bone him.

 

 

Enemy of either one of you looking to cause strife in your love life.

 

Random person looking for fun.

 

 

You have no reason to hide this from your husband. Confront him and ask him. Or snoop his things first (as some suggest) then confront.

 

You have trust with your husband not some stranger. I don't know what to do in your shoes, but I wouldn't dismiss it nor would I accept it as truth.

[Redhead14]

I got a FB message from a random person I've never heard of, telling me my husband cheated on me right before our wedding.

 

The profile looks like it's almost fake, I think it's even been deleted. There was no profile picture, like someone just created the account to be able to send me a message.

 

I never once thought my husband would have cheated on me. But this plants the little seed of doubt.

 

He's always home with me, we usually go out together, so the only real time he'd have to cheat is while he's at work.

 

I don't know what to think, I did ask him about it, he didn't get angry or upse

with me grilling him about it, but he denied it completely, saying he's always

been faithful and wouldn't do anything so stupid to jeopardize our family.

 

What would you do in my shoes?

 

What do you trust most? A suspicious FB message from a stranger or the man who has been sitting at your dinner table every night? If your suspicion is raised because of FB message there is liklely some other reason hes given you to not trust him. If he hasn't don't undermine the relationship over BS.

[jen1447]

The insider's secret to infidelity is that the victim almost always knows about it, somehow, to some extent, on some level, due to some degree of spousal alienation that results from it and/or precedes it. So the easy answer to your question is did you ever have even the slightest inkling your husband was cheating or had ever cheated prior to this anonymous message? If not, chances are very slim he ever did.

[Satu]

Take your husbands word over that of an anonymous stranger.

 

Don't let this come between you.

[brok3npromise]

Trust that your husband is telling the truth here. If you've never suspected him of cheating before, chances are someone is messing with you.

[mrs rubble]

I would ask the informant a few questions, such as when??? so I could check if I were away at the time or my partner was...and where??? and how they know??

I would be inclined to keep the info to myself until I'd investigated.

 

I once messaged a woman I've never met via facebook messenger, to tell her that her Fiance had been sleeping with me. She thought I was just trying to cause trouble...I wasn't. I was shocked when I found out the scumbag was engaged and so let her know what he'd been up to...he'd also been meeting men for oral sex....she was warned.

[No Limit]

Ask to meet him or her at a neutral - read: public - place. Don't put this up too far in your list of concerns yet; but sadly it's very unlikely you'll find evidence of his cheating now. If the informant doesn't want to meet, ask for evidence. And if he can't provide evidence, you know there's just someone trying to play with your mind (and mind you, it does happen; often it's an ex).

[66Charger]

I would send a message back that said "prove it, without a doubt, or stfu". If there is a reply, share it with your H, if not continue on having the best marriage possible.

[gamergal]

Thanks all, for the advice. I was not abke to reply to the message, seems as though this person blocked me. So I created a fake profile of my own and sent a friend request, just to see. I got a nasty note back about all sorts of nonsense about me being ruining another marriage and all sorts of crazy, but seemed to me it was my ex or someone who really doesn't like me, but if I had to put mobey on it, I'd guess it was my ex husband.

 

Needless to say, my hubby and I are ok, and I feel slightly bad for doubting him for a half second, but I've never before had any feelings that he would cheat on me.

 

I think what bothers me now is the fact that someone is trying to ruin my relationship. But I can't let them get to me. Have a great day all!

[loverboy69]

Somebody did that to my boss when I went on a business trip with him overseas. Some girl created a fake LinkedIn profile using a photo of our CFO and sent an In-Mail to his wife saying he was going overseas with a young gay guy and that it appeared "suspicious."

 

Turned out to be a jealous co-worker who was trying to plant seeds of doubt with his wife since I was chosen to represent our department on our trip and not her.

 

We were able to trace it by the IP address used from her laptop. She wound up losing her job.

 

Sucks that people try to do that. Frustrated or not she could have falsely ruined my reputation. Thankfully my boss' relationship with his wife was strong and she saw right through the false claim.