ColdandLonelyinAK Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I was cleaning last night and found one of his old bank statements. Turns out, he was lying to me about his finances BIG TIME. He was making WAY more than he said he was, and I was footing all the bills and giving him gas money! Not only that, he didn't even get me a birthday or Christmas present last year because he "didn't have the money". Turns out, he was spending all of his money eating out everyday, on video games, and on booze! Not only that, but he over drafted his account as well. His withdrawals exceeded his deposits. This statement was from around my birthday and Christmas. I also maxed out my credit card to pay for his plane ticket to visit home. All the while, he was making twice as much as he told me. What a fool I was! Finding that out helped me realize what an idiot he is, and he is one of those people who can lie to your face without batting an eyelash. Not really a question, just a sort of update. This is helping me move on from him. I also started school last week, and have been MUCH happier and feel a sense of purpose again, and I have not been going out to the bars so I can avoid him. But anyway, how stupid was I to not realize this until now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
petsrule Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 You're not stupid, hopefully you've kicked him out of your life forever and never let him have any money off you from this point onwards. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I'd send him a detailed invoice, together with a copy of his statement and a note at the bottom saying "You can afford this, you lying cheapskate." I doubt he will cough up, and I very much doubt you'd be in any legal position to be able to make him cough up (unless you go on Judge Judy!) but maybe the satisfaction of letting him know he's also a miser and a scrooge, and a user and abuser, might help! Link to post Share on other sites
StrangerThanFiction Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 My ex did exactly the same thing, OP. He told me he had barely enough money to make ends meet so I was stuck covering all the rent and bills by myself. Turned out he had WAY more money than he said he did. At first it really hurt but then, like you, it made me see what a lying loser he is. Keep your chin up, you're so much better off without him! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ColdandLonelyinAK Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 I had thought of sending a picture of it to him, but then I realized nothing would ever come of it. Even with evidence he thinks he can do no wrong. It just makes me realize he would have been terrible husband material. How could I have ran a household and family with someone like that? Isn't that what they call "financial infidelity"? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I had thought of sending a picture of it to him, but then I realized nothing would ever come of it. Even with evidence he thinks he can do no wrong. It just makes me realize he would have been terrible husband material. How could I have ran a household and family with someone like that? Isn't that what they call "financial infidelity"? It IS now....! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ColdandLonelyinAK Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 That's what I thought. The feeling of rejection from the breakup still stings a little, but this info just reinforces my belief that I dodged a bullet. To think even when I LOST MY JOB because of him, I still made sure he was taken care of. I'm a saver, he wasn't. What kind of man watches his woman struggle while he goes out and blows all his money? Yikes. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I wonder, honestly, if there is in fact any way to teach him a lesson, through legal means? I know I mentioned 'Judge Judy' earlier, in jest, but hey - actually, she DOES get people paid back.... I guess it depends just how much it matters to you, both emotionally AND financially... Link to post Share on other sites
thekarmacist Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 this guy demonstrates textbook antisocial characteristics. try not to be upset for too long, as he will no doubt do these same sorts of things to anyone and everyone in his life. these people are predators. be glad he's gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ColdandLonelyinAK Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 I wonder, honestly, if there is in fact any way to teach him a lesson, through legal means? I know I mentioned 'Judge Judy' earlier, in jest, but hey - actually, she DOES get people paid back.... I guess it depends just how much it matters to you, both emotionally AND financially... I would love to, and I'd thought about it honestly... But to him, he does no wrong, even when faced with hard evidence. I'm just ready to put this chapter of my life behind me. He is too engrossed in his current relationship to care about anything else. He only thinks of himself. But believe me, I am pissed. Totally not fair that I lost my job over him, still helped him out, but he was out there pissing away his money. I'm just so glad I never married him. I believe he also screwed over his ex wife with money, too. I didn't find out about that until later. this guy demonstrates textbook antisocial characteristics. try not to be upset for too long, as he will no doubt do these same sorts of things to anyone and everyone in his life. these people are predators. be glad he's gone. What is antisocial again? Link to post Share on other sites
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