ScotchBeef Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 I'm not currently in a relationship, but a few years ago I found myself in a weird situation, never knew what the right thing to do was. Basically, i can't and never have imagined that i would ever want to be married. I have my reasons and wont go in to them here, and understand that for a lot of people that would be a big deal. The question is, if your partner in a LTR never brings marriage up, should there reach a point where you come out and tell them straight that you would never consider it? The relationship i was in at the time lasted about two years, and i mentioned the no marriage thing when i broke it off (there were a number of other reasons for the break-up) but if the relationship had worked out and eventually ended solely because of the marriage thing, i'd have felt rather guilty and selfish for not just telling her straight out at the start. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Bless your heart for even thinking enough to ask this. It says a lot about your character. I think if you bring it up at the start and say it in a matter of fact way, then you have started off well. If they choose to continue to date you, and you get worried later on that they may be under the wrong impression (by their own doing) you can gently ask them if marriage is something they are thinking about and remind them that it is not something you ever want to do. Express it in a way that you care for them and are concerned that they are wasting their good years (especially if they are a female in reproductive years) and it doesn't feel right if you don't say something. They will then need to make their own decisions. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Age is a factor in this. Younger then 25ish I don't think you have to announce it in the beginning. However at some point the issue comes up at a natural place in the relationship. You can wait until the other person brings it up or you can mention it around the 6 month mark (longer if you are younger) but don't lead somebody on. If that is how you feel, that is how you feel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) If you're sure you don't want to be married, honesty is the best policy. Be honest with yourself and the young lady. It will save a lot of hurt feelings and wasted time. Edited July 13, 2015 by MidKnightDreams 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 If your partner doesn't bring it up, then you should bring it up - and sooner rather than later. The sooner you say it the smaller the risk that someone who likes you really much will think "Ah well, he'll get around for sure" and will then pressure for marriage after a few years. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 There are females out there that also don't want to get married. I am one of them. Be upfront and honest before you develop feelings for someone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 There are females out there that also don't want to get married. I am one of them. Be upfront and honest before you develop feelings for someone. I agree with this. There are women out there with no desire or intention of marrying as well. There is no shame in wanting to remain single and it doesn't sound like you are against relationships in general, so there is no reason not to be upfront about it. Yes, there will be some women that will pass but those women wouldn't be the right ones for you in the first place. Conversely there will be others that will see that as a plus so there is no reason not to be open about it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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