KiwiGal76 Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) Hi everyone I came across this article the other day (much too late for my situation) but I thought I'd share it because it's incredibly insightful for any existing, budding and future relationships. I am interested in hearing your thoughts.... Lasting Relationships Rely On 2 Traits - Business Insider KiwiGal76 ~ separated two months ago and getting through it, just.... Edited July 13, 2015 by KiwiGal76 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Winterina Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 So basically some people are not physiologically predetermined to have a nice relationship? This article does not help at all in your relationship, it just explains why some couples fail and other succeed to be in a happy relationship. Seems like emotional people are screwed a priori. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KiwiGal76 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 It's an interesting take on the article... I found it to be insightful, mainly due to the two things that can help construct a happy relationship at the beginning. They seem to be common sense actions but they can be forgotten along the way due to negative experiences, priority changes and perhaps general complacency as we get comfortable in our relationship. I sent this to my ex husband and he said we were doomed from the start. ? Link to post Share on other sites
pondhawk Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 bidding interactions... Very interesting! I have to do more of that. Thanks for the link! Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Kindness is the basis of all good relationships. G 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Hi everyone I came across this article the other day (much too late for my situation) but I thought I'd share it because it's incredibly insightful for any existing, budding and future relationships. I am interested in hearing your thoughts.... Lasting Relationships Rely On 2 Traits - Business Insider KiwiGal76 Awesome article!!! I love it!!! ~ separated two months ago and getting through it, just.... I'm sorry about your separation. Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 So basically some people are not physiologically predetermined to have a nice relationship? This article does not help at all in your relationship, it just explains why some couples fail and other succeed to be in a happy relationship. Seems like emotional people are screwed a priori. Hi Winterina, I did not get that from the article at all. The vast majority, probably around 99% of human beings can choose to be kind, including emotional people. For example, I'm an emotional person, and I can choose to be kind to or critical of my husband. Most of the time, I choose to be kind and thank God, my husband chooses to be kind to me. Kindness and generosity are traits that are cultivated through actively choosing to be kind and generous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Kindness is the basis of all good relationships. G So true!!! Including parental relationships, friendship relationships, work relationships, sibling relationships, and so on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Definitely kindness/compassion. But I have to say a healthy sense of humor sure does help! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I would say: Kindness/compassion Humor Generosity Fairness Integrity Parity/equality Sense of responsibility 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegameoflife Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 I think it's self-control, or lack of empathy. Two of the largest reasons for divorce are infidelity and money. People with self-control resist temptations to cheat and spend frivolously. People with self-control hold back emotional responses that come out as hurtful words and actions. People with self-control have arguments where outbursts are held back, and don't reduce things to personal attacks. Just about everyone brings kindness and generosity into relationships, but people with poor discipline will do things that are hurtful and selfish. A good relationship might be built on being kind and generous everyday, but a single hurtful action not held back when nothing positive can come from it, can destroy a relationship. Some people just do hurtful things because they aren't empathetic. Most people don't want relationships to go bad, but without self-control, they screw it up. To me, the group that had failed marriages, one or both partners had poor self-control. The anxiety was a result of experiences that the wrong words or actions would result in a emotional attack, so they live their lives in anticipation of the attack until they can't handle the anxiety any more. When two people with self-control come together, you usually see a relationship of equality and balance. People with poor self-control issues only find balance with someone who has a lot of self-discipline, and will control them. This might sound terrible, but we use the exact concept to help people with addictions all the time. People with addictions have poor self-control, so they join programs where they are responsible to another person, or a higher power. It's a power exchange, and people do this because they are better off controlled by another person or higher power, then to be left to their own lack of discipline. A major component of religion is that control belongs to a higher power, and it comes with teachings of how that higher power wants you to behave. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 Awesome article!! Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 So basically some people are not physiologically predetermined to have a nice relationship? This article does not help at all in your relationship, it just explains why some couples fail and other succeed to be in a happy relationship. Seems like emotional people are screwed a priori. I think you need to read that article again, it isn't saying that at all. You can be emotional without resorting to destructive arguments 1 Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 liking each other as people.. a lot, for one. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 I would also include ;- respect and empathy Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 So basically some people are not physiologically predetermined to have a nice relationship? This article does not help at all in your relationship, it just explains why some couples fail and other succeed to be in a happy relationship. Seems like emotional people are screwed a priori. Not necessarily, People can "grow" and "change", and there are always exceptions to the rule in any case. Or the can show kindness and generosity to their Spouse and family. Show, I would take this as a suggestion, in tiring to decide if you can "make a go" with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
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