Big blow up, did I blow it?

[laneyinlove]

HI all, Quick summary of my situation. My ex and I broke up 2 months ago and had been seeing each other pretty regularly and I had been hoping we had gotten back together. So I really messed up and I think I blew my chances of having him back. This weekend I ended up going to a party while he was at poker night with his boys. He let me stay and play with the boys for a while but then he said something mean to me when I lost like too bad just go off already and play with the girls. I got mad at him and went to my party and invited this other guy I am seeing. When I got back fromt he party, I ended up going over to my exes house and asked him for all of our pictures on his computer because I said I needed a clean break from him if he couldn't love me the way I wanted him to. I told him I invited the other guy to the party and that we had a good time. My ex ended up trying to kick me out of the house and after a while when I would not leave without the pictures he ended up being violent and pushed me down. I was crying and he said look what you made me do. Any normal person would have just left. needless to say I was hurt but then I called him yesterday and told him I realize this game we have been playing back and forth is dangerous. I told him I love him and want to be with him. he told me had I said it before this incident he might have just married me? but after this incident he cannot be with me because he does not have conviction and too much doubt. he says he loves me but we are too volatile together. I told him we have been playing games too much none of us has let our guard down in order to let the other one in and I wanted him to stop it now and commit or I have to start forgetting and moving on. he said no he could not see himself with me right now. Have I blown it totally? Is there anything I can do to win himback? I plan to do no contact but does that mean no IMing as well? Please help.

[agnf666]

No Contact means no calling, texting, Instant Messaging, or any other way to contact him. What you need to do is try "No Contact" for awhile. Meaning a month or two. If after that, you still have feelings for him then call him and talk to him. You need to give him so space to let him sort somethings out right now... You also need to do that as well.

[curiousnycgirl]

Ok I am totally confused - you were dating him AND another guy, but are expecting HIM to committ to marriage? How is that supposed to work? You haven't shown a committment to him.

 

Secondly - he pushed you, I don't care if you think you provoked him or what - he PUSHED you. Do you really think an engagement ring will fix the problems you two have?

 

I am stunned and astounded at this whole post. What am I missing here?

[HoldOn]

I am stunned and astounded at this whole post. What am I missing here?

 

ummm, maturity?

 

Laney, this is a little crazy don't you think? I think you both need to be single and alone for a while, eh?

[laneyinlove]

I had never wanted him to commit to marriage. I was dating others because after we broke up , I did not want to wait for him and let oppotunities to find Mr. Right pass me by so I dated other men while I was seeing my ex too .He dated other women too but not to the extent I had. I realized that I wanted to be with him while dating other men but he would not say he wanted to get back together until that incident where he said he would have married me had I not provoked him. My gut says that he is a manipulative person saying things where I regret it to the extent of he would have asked me to marry him on the spot and all of this after saying he can't be with me and after shoving me. You all are right I need to stay away from him. I just love him so much I would do anything for him so I guess I have to save me from myself too. It's just so hard and I miss him so much.