Simon Phoenix Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I can absolutely agree with this. I'm keeping the idea of the meeting open to see if there is actually anything worth salvaging (Friendship or otherwise) My curiosity is mildly peaked, maybe hers is too. The other thing is wondering if she's wanting to apologize for the crappy way she handled things at the end by just avoiding an actual breakup , and doing this "Break for a week or two" non-sense. I don't know. I'm also realizing I'm much more forgiving than most, and willing to give people the benefit of a doubt. But I CAN'T go through this again. All in all I'm just wanting to take back my power and move forward with my life, with her or without her in it. Meeting with her in this state will not get your power back. And let's be real, you aren't ready or looking to be "a friend" right now. Ultimately it's up to you, but the timing isn't right. You aren't ready for this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I can absolutely agree with this. I'm keeping the idea of the meeting open to see if there is actually anything worth salvaging (Friendship or otherwise) My curiosity is mildly peaked, maybe hers is too. The other thing is wondering if she's wanting to apologize for the crappy way she handled things at the end by just avoiding an actual breakup , and doing this "Break for a week or two" non-sense. I don't know. I'm also realizing I'm much more forgiving than most, and willing to give people the benefit of a doubt. But I CAN'T go through this again. All in all I'm just wanting to take back my power and move forward with my life, with her or without her in it. Do yourself a huge favor and don't lie to yourself about your intentions here. You don't want her friendship: you want her to be your woman. Being her friend means she talks to you about her man problems. Do you want to hear that? You want to be her girlfriend? If she wanted to apologize to you, she would have alluded to that already. I seriously doubt she thinks how she treated you was crappy and I say that based on what you've said she's said to you thus far. If you want to retain your power, cancel meeting her. It's not going to go the way you think it will. She'd have to do a whole lot more than say she wanted to get together for drinks to catch up... and on that tip: who's paying for these drinks? Her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author PizzaMuffin Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 You're right, I don't want to be friends with her. I've been looking at the meeting as an opportunity to reconnect and see if it's a starting point to re-kindle the relationship, but if it didn't go as planned just telling her that we can't be friends any more and cutting off contact completely and deleting her from my life. Something I kinda wished I'd done months. It sucks losing someone, especially when they've been in your life for over 10 years and I know it sounds selfish but if the relationship doesn't go where I want it, then I just don't see the point of being a part of her life. Side note: We had an amazing relationship 95% of the time. Never argued, always loved eachothers company, traveled together, etc. Towards the end I felt her slipping away and tried to do everything I could to save it. Bought tickets for trips, paid for one of her classes, fixed her car, etc. I unintentionally turned into a doormat. She's VERY immature and I'm seeing a lot of that now. She was the last person I ever expected to suddenly cut me out the way she did, but yet I still hung in there for some odd reason. I've decided not to meet her, at least for the time being. For all I know she might not even commit to actually meeting up. I think working on myself is the best action right now and if I can get to a point where I can talk to her then it could be a possibility. If she really wants me to be a part of her life, she can put some effort into it. Do yourself a huge favor and don't lie to yourself about your intentions here. You don't want her friendship: you want her to be your woman. Being her friend means she talks to you about her man problems. Do you want to hear that? You want to be her girlfriend? If she wanted to apologize to you, she would have alluded to that already. I seriously doubt she thinks how she treated you was crappy and I say that based on what you've said she's said to you thus far. If you want to retain your power, cancel meeting her. It's not going to go the way you think it will. She'd have to do a whole lot more than say she wanted to get together for drinks to catch up... and on that tip: who's paying for these drinks? Her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I want Rapper costume shenanigans...PLEASE???? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I want Rapper costume shenanigans...PLEASE???? Do it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author PizzaMuffin Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) Just a brief update: I've been in limited contact with the ex for the past several weeks. Nothing big or serious. Last week, I had an episode where I nearly was taken to the ER. Allergic reaction to an antibiotic. Scared the crap outta me. Only a few people know about what happened, and I've been recovering for the past few days. The night after it happened, sure enough....the ex texts me checking to make sure I'm okay. She was kinda freaked out, so I guess it was kinda nice to know she still cares. We actually had a pleasant exchange back and forth. I kept it short and sweet. She brought up again that she really wants to meet up with me when she's in town soon, and we have a lot to catch up on. I tell her we can figure it out when the time comes and changed the subject. She texts me back the next day, we continue for a bit. She sends a pic of herself on a film set she's working on. (she sent me a pic a few weeks earlier via email as well) It was genuinely really good to hear from her. I've had so much anger, and resentment built up, but for some reason getting to have some communication was kind of nice.....and.....weird. I dunno. Still not looking much into this, but overall it was a nice exchange we had. Still working on myself, still hanging out with other people (Including attractive women, bonus) and moving forward. It's just funny how things kinda come back around in some way. Edited August 31, 2015 by PizzaMuffin I'm bad with words and things Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I wouldn't say it's coming back around necessarily. She heard her friend (you) was taken to the hospital, she checked to see if he was ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PizzaMuffin Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 I wouldn't say it's coming back around necessarily. She heard her friend (you) was taken to the hospital, she checked to see if he was ok. Sorry, I didn't mean come back around as in reconciliation, but more as in every time I think I'd never hear from her again, I end up hearing from her. And her sending me pics of herself kinda through me off. The text conversation felt a little too comfortable. It was like back when her and I first started dating. Not clinging on to it, but it threw me off balance a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Sorry, I didn't mean come back around as in reconciliation, but more as in every time I think I'd never hear from her again, I end up hearing from her. And her sending me pics of herself kinda through me off. The text conversation felt a little too comfortable. It was like back when her and I first started dating. Not clinging on to it, but it threw me off balance a bit. You're way too invested in this if it's "throwing you off". If I were you I'd block her until you get your head together. All she's doing is throwing out breadcrumbs and it's screwing you all up because you haven't completely recovered. Until she does something of substance -- and she hasn't yet -- don't do crap and preferably block. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 You want what you want, which is attention from her, no matter the cost to you. There is no way I'd have been dragged into a protracted texting adventure with an ex without asking them specifically why they are in touch with me and what their intention was. This is a colossal waste of time--I'd have point blank asked her if the purpose of her supposed visit to me was because she wanted to reconcile. My ex used to do this mess to me until I just upped and asked him point blank why he was contacting me. Was it to reconcile and fix the mess he made or was he just thinking out loud. He wasn't trying to reconcile--he was trying to find out if I was amenable to being his piece on the side while he cheated on the b he left me for because it wasn't working out with her. He's been on block for some time and my life is less confused and I have nothing "throwing me off". You might want to try that---or at least, admit the truth of the matter which is: you're not emotionally done with her and it's going to take far more hurt than what you've been through with her for you to get it. People who want to be with you act like it and they generally don't make it a huge mystery where you're spending all your time speculating and filling in their blanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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