Author Male Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 (edited) You are a very negative person in your posts and seem to have a very lacking attitude. Why do I have a feeling that even if you were divorced with ten kids, you would be here complaining about all the women wanting single men with no children? Maybe you need to concentrate on establishing some positivity and happiness in your life...join some groups or clubs or join an intramural sports team or Martial Arts Dojos...anything to get you out of your pity party. I have read some of your threads and this is something you can't solve with focusing on what you think you lack or know or think...because you are probably mostly wrong concerning most people or some people or those people... If you think you know absolutes, you usually know nothing. Good luck, Grumps Just because someone sees and interacts with negativity doesnt mean they themselves are a negative person. Most news is negative on TV, does that mean that reporters that deliver that news to you are negative people? What if I had a blog about bad relationships, and I only wrote about said relationships, would that mean I'm a negative person because you only hear negativity coming from me? No it wouldnt. The problem here is that I say things how they are. MOST people learn to sugar coat and reword things so they sound more gentle and come across in a better light. I'm not like that and never will be. Its not MY fault that people are used to getting a censored response and then flip out when I give them an adult uncensored reality check. And if I grew up with these types of experiences, and dealing with these types of women, then thats obviously MY reality to my environment. You and others usually think I'm just whining about things, when its actually true. OP, when you figure it out, you'll no longer worry about what women - or anyone else - thinks of you. I've already had it figured out. I dont care what anyone else thinks of me. If I did, I'd be one of the typical guys on here flirting with women on here trying to make myself feel better by feeding my self esteem rather than saying what I feel and not fearing my tongue. Edited July 14, 2015 by Male Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Just because someone sees and interacts with negativity doesnt mean they themselves are a negative person. Most news is negative on TV, does that mean that reporters that deliver that news to you are negative people? What if I had a blog about bad relationships, and I only wrote about said relationships, would that mean I'm a negative person because you only hear negativity coming from me? No it wouldnt. The problem here is that I say things how they are. MOST people learn to sugar coat and reword things so they sound more gentle and come across in a better light. I'm not like that and never will be. Its not MY fault that people are used to getting a censored response and then flip out when I give them an adult uncensored reality check. And if I grew up with these types of experiences, and dealing with these types of women, then thats obviously MY reality to my environment. You and others usually think I'm just whining about things, when its actually true. I've already had it figured out. I dont care what anyone else thinks of me. If I did, I'd be one of the typical guys on here flirting with women on here trying to make myself feel better by feeding my self esteem rather than saying what I feel and not fearing my tongue. A slight contradiction, perhaps? You have it figured out, but you're negative toward women. Okay, dude. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Male Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 but you're negative toward women. Okay, dude. Yes...I am negative towards women that deserve it, and cordial to the ones that deserve being cordial to. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I could have sworn I was already here once .... right, I was, so I'll upgrade my prior suggestion to a directive. Stow the personal BS and stick to the general topic. Or don't and be gone. Thanks in advance for your cooperation with this moderation directive. Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 My experience was the exact opposite of yours. IME 35-45 are the glory days for male dating. You can date down into the 20s and up into the 40s. Plus, you're established and have money and a career. Men in their 20s are a pain in the ass to date. And IME, having kids is just baggage to most single women, especially the ones without kids. Relationships are a lot easier if neither person has ex-spouses and kids. Do you think their sex drive is still high? Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Cats are great but you don't like dogs? Not even little ones? Crap you almost made my potential next husband list... I'm one of those guys that takes a hard stand on pets, but is then just a stupid softie once they come home. Someone who lived with me a couple years ago, right after the divorce brought home a dog. It was an all white Pomeranian and I LOVED that dog. Just no big, average, dopey or "tough guy" dogs, I guess. The little ones are nice. Cats are even better. Just keep me on the "maybe list." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Yeah but you are kind of unusual for a middle aged man you seem more like a teenager. Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Not to sound like a germaphobe (sp?), but cats have double the dander. Ugh... cats. Don't get me wrong, I won't go to bed with dogs either, but at least they aren't cats. I love animals to death (probably more than a lot of animal owners), I'm just not big on living with them or sharing a bed with them. Though if I were forced to get a cat, I'd totally drop the 15 or so G's to get an F1 Savannah I mean if you're gonna' go, go all out, right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I'm one of those guys that takes a hard stand on pets, but is then just a stupid softie once they come home. Someone who lived with me a couple years ago, right after the divorce brought home a dog. It was an all white Pomeranian and I LOVED that dog. Just no big, average, dopey or "tough guy" dogs, I guess. The little ones are nice. Cats are even better. Just keep me on the "maybe list." Well, Male can add this to his list of things he hates about women - which is, some of us do not want to date a guy with cats. I cannot stand cats. They are selfish and lazy. They don't love you unconditionally like a dog and/or will protect you. Cats will even go so far to try to kill you and your children in your sleep. They cause allergies, they spit up fur balls. Do I need to say more? Over the years, of the guys I knew that had cats - they had "issues" so now when I see a guy with cats, instant turn off. On OLD a few months ago I was chatting with a guy and when he mentioned he had cats, I did a fade on him.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 some of us do not want to date a guy with cats This is true. I think even my GF said this. It does not sound fair, but I can see it as being a turnoff for a woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 This is true. I think even my GF said this. It does not sound fair, but I can see it as being a turnoff for a woman. Well, the guy that I did the fade on? He said cuz he wasn't home a lot the cats were easier to care for than a dog...but still, I just can't stand cats and/or a guy who has them. Get a dog and put it in doggy daycare and/or hire a house sitter/dog walker to come and check on it. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I know most of them were wondering how the dorkiest guy in the room got the most gorgeous girl in the restaurant. I was thinking ... what's the difference between that guy ... and OP? I can answer your question. The difference is age. That thin pasty hispter guy and his girl are probably late teens early 20s. The couples where I see that scenario of cute girl and I 'wow how did he get her guy' are from like 17 to say 24. After that women's insecurities drop, self assuredness goes up, experience with guys (relationships & hookups in between) goes up, and so expectations and standards and dealbreakers go up plus they start to have a longer term focus on relationships that are less based on him being sweet/fun/dorky. Just speaking from my observations, I think its much rarer that scenario in mid 30s. For the OP, I don't think the assumptions are not that great at say 35 for a male or even compared to the equivalent female..who I think may get more skew eye assumptions on them. (though many of the mid 30s women will be single moms) From mid 30s on though you will start to be judged more each year. Swap the apt for a house then get the dog. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalCastles Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 But if I have no kids, no dog or other pet, then its open season on speculation. I'm compared to all the other cookie-cutter guys that have kids and dogs. The number one question that single moms have asked me when on a date..."How come you never had kids"? Like they have to verify that my answer fits neatly into their list of acceptable answers before we move forward. You're unsuccessful with women not because you don't have kids or a dog. Its because you're too pessimistic and angry. Nobody wants to date a man like that. If a woman doesn't want to date a man who doesn't have kids, or fits some requirement you don't have, that is her right. I cannot stand cats. They are selfish and lazy. They don't love you unconditionally like a dog and/or will protect you. Cats will even go so far to try to kill you and your children in your sleep. They cause allergies, they spit up fur balls. Do I need to say more? You clearly never had a cat before. My cat is a total lovebug. I also don't know about dander. My cat doesn't have any dander. I personally cannot stand the smell of dog, it is disgusting. Dogs tend to have way more dander than cats. I've walked hundreds of dogs at the shelter and so many of them had dander. Some had it so bad that it was gross to pet them. OP, maybe you need a dog. Or a cat. Or something to take up your time. I think that women look positively upon men who can take care of babies, dogs or cats because it shows that you are able to demonstrate love and care towards another being. It means you're mature enough to be responsible for someone else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 (edited) I'm one of those guys that takes a hard stand on pets, but is then just a stupid softie once they come home. Someone who lived with me a couple years ago, right after the divorce brought home a dog. It was an all white Pomeranian and I LOVED that dog. Just no big, average, dopey or "tough guy" dogs, I guess. The little ones are nice. Cats are even better. Just keep me on the "maybe list." You've made the list. Congrats. (I have a Chihuahua. I had a cat but she passed last year from cancer. I had her on chemo which cost a fortune and it bought her about six more months of life. She was worth it. Sweetest cat ever.) Edited July 15, 2015 by Brigit_1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I cannot stand cats. They are selfish and lazy. They don't love you unconditionally like a dog and/or will protect you. Cats will even go so far to try to kill you and your children in your sleep. Did you ever have cats? Growing up we had a siamese and a rex. The siamese was a real bit*h but she loved my brother unconditionally and the rex acted like a dog. She was a bit strange looking but she was so loving. All she wanted to do is cuddle and purr. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 (edited) Well, Male can add this to his list of things he hates about women - which is, some of us do not want to date a guy with cats. I cannot stand cats. They are selfish and lazy. They don't love you unconditionally like a dog and/or will protect you. Cats will even go so far to try to kill you and your children in your sleep. They cause allergies, they spit up fur balls. Do I need to say more? Over the years, of the guys I knew that had cats - they had "issues" so now when I see a guy with cats, instant turn off. On OLD a few months ago I was chatting with a guy and when he mentioned he had cats, I did a fade on him.... That's an interesting one. In general... (not about you or anyone here... my view) A dog is a type of animal for people who want constant validation, rainbows and sunshine without having to earn any of it. The dog itself is also needy, annoying and loud.I'm really talking about big dogs. Those little ones are like a 3rd type of animal to me. ha ha ha A cat's love is earned through your behavior. You are accountable. It's quiet, doesn't take all your time up and only if you have the right type of personality to attract it, does it love you. I suspect a lot of people hate cats because cats hate them and they need that constant reassurance of a dog. Guaranteed love you can buy at the store. To me, it seems like a cat person is more emotionally stable and would make better relationship material. If someone is all into dogs like... too into them (dog parks, life revolves around dogs because they have no human relationships that work), I give them a miss too. Me? I don't need any pet. But if I had to get one it'd be a cat, then again, I think the IDGAF about what other people think about my life choices was pretty clear in my earlier post here. Edited July 15, 2015 by loveweary11 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Cat lovers are least likely to be psychopaths, reveals national survey | News | Pet Product Marketing - The survey, which has already attracted almost 700,000 respondents, discovered that those with the least psychopathic traits preferred cats or kittens to many other pets while the most psychopathic individuals preferred pet fish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Cat lovers are least likely to be psychopaths, reveals national survey | News | Pet Product Marketing - Wow!! Fish! That was so surprising, it really made me laugh. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Beware of the fish keeper... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I feel like this study actually hits on my point about cats. You need higher emotional intelligence and empathy to attract cats (and women, but that's another thread). Wheras dogs love you "out of the box." Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit_1 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Beware of the fish keeper... And if he has a pet Piranha call the cops. ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Its pretty sad that in the dating world if you are a single male, older than 35, with no kids, and no dog, many women "assume" negative thoughts about you and your situation. You are instantly looked at having issues, or having something wrong with you. If I had a child or two, then I am looked at in a positive light. All of a sudden its assumed I'm a hard working single dad, mature, and doing my best to take care of my kids. Even if I have a dog, then women connect that with someone that cares, someone that has responsibility, and knows how to take care of something. But if I have no kids, no dog or other pet, then its open season on speculation. I'm compared to all the other cookie-cutter guys that have kids and dogs. The number one question that single moms have asked me when on a date..."How come you never had kids"? Like they have to verify that my answer fits neatly into their list of acceptable answers before we move forward. Well with the number of animals that need adoption, adopt a fur baby today. They are the best gifts and you will have a blast. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I feel like this study actually hits on my point about cats. You need higher emotional intelligence and empathy to attract cats (and women, but that's another thread). Wheras dogs love you "out of the box." Depends on the cat. I have found males (in many species) are far clingier and want to cuddle than females. My male cat is the biggest clinger and only wants to be held like a baby. So as long as you feed him, hold him, and let him knead on you he is happy. The pups are just NEEDY! I feel dog's need a therapist. We have two and love them to death. Want a great animal? Horse. Best animal ever. (And a great way to get a chick. ) Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Well, Male can add this to his list of things he hates about women - which is, some of us do not want to date a guy with cats. I cannot stand cats. They are selfish and lazy. They don't love you unconditionally like a dog and/or will protect you. Cats will even go so far to try to kill you and your children in your sleep. They cause allergies, they spit up fur balls. Do I need to say more? Over the years, of the guys I knew that had cats - they had "issues" so now when I see a guy with cats, instant turn off. On OLD a few months ago I was chatting with a guy and when he mentioned he had cats, I did a fade on him.... Oh for Christ sake, this is completely untrue and just old wive's tales. Where do you get this "insights"!?! No cats don't try and kill you in your sleep. And cats are no different than dogs in their self interest. They are all animals. All operate similarly. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Well with the number of animals that need adoption, adopt a fur baby today. They are the best gifts and you will have a blast. I don't think "trying to attract women" is a great reason to get a pet. Pet's need care and attention and what regular attention is the poor thing going to get if he is in the gym or going out on dates and staying over with the women he meets. Pets can be very tying. They need stable homes and not be bought on a whim to attract some single mother, who may indeed want it put down if it goes anywhere near her kids. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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