mercuryshadow Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I suppose this post could also fit into the "marriage" section, as it is a dual faceted issue... I thought I had managed to escape a week-long visit at my husband's parent's home simply by circumstance this year, but turns out that may not be the case after all. I like seeing them and spending time with them, but to be clear, spending a week or even just a few days in their home is very stressful and uncomfortable for me. MIL and FIL constantly argue, MIL corners me to complain, and it, in no way, is a pleasant time. Since I am busy with school and we didn't want to keep putting our dog in a kennel, I opted to stay behind while H goes for a visit. I thought the arrangement made sense. Also, I might add, my son did not want to go either, as his cousin is visiting this summer. Turns out that H's parents are really pushing for me to join him. I explained to H why it didn't make sense, but as HE kept pushing me, I had to remind him of all the alterior reasons why I don't like spending time there. I go for holidays, special occasions, etc, but for this...no. And now I'm left feeling guilty; after all, they are his parents. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Don't go. Organize something where you meet in a neutral location so you have your own room to retreat to in order to get away from the fighting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Also, an addendum to Donnivain's good suggestion, I've found people behave better on neutral turf. My mom was insufferable at her own home but much better on my turn. Not sure why. Being a nice guest I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
nouedis Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Honestly, I wouldn't go. If he's pestering you to do something you don't want to do, why do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mercuryshadow Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Unfortunately, his parents would never go for meeting somewhere in between, but I'll still present the idea. I love my husband and can empathize with his desire to spend time with his parents as a family. My own parents have been close with us, and I think he wishes for the same with his parents, but unfortunately, I don't think it's possible due to the dynamics. I really wish things could be different. On another note, his mother is not in the best of health...I think she, herself is largely to blame, though. I know my H worries about her, I worry too. And I feel guilty for not wanting to go for this reason, too. Link to post Share on other sites
nouedis Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Honestly, there's no reason as to why you should be feeling like this to begin with. You should be able to decline visitation. Link to post Share on other sites
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