LikeAFriend Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I did it! After three months of riding out this emotional rollercoaster, I finally came to the decision to initiate NC. This was MY closure. I ended it the way it should have ended; on my own terms. I feel relief. Lighter. Free from these chains of drowning sorrow and loss. Now that I have taken the first step to closure, I feel like I don't need an explanation or answers from him. It is what it is. I'm curious... How have you handled NC? Does it get harder before it gets easier? What motivates you to commit to the NC rule? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NewLeaf512 Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I did it! After three months of riding out this emotional rollercoaster, I finally came to the decision to initiate NC. This was MY closure. I ended it the way it should have ended; on my own terms. I feel relief. Lighter. Free from these chains of drowning sorrow and loss. Now that I have taken the first step to closure, I feel like I don't need an explanation or answers from him. It is what it is. I'm curious... How have you handled NC? Does it get harder before it gets easier? What motivates you to commit to the NC rule? I'm not an expert having only 12 days. I feel it comes in waves. What makes it easier for me is knowing that I deserved more than to be someone's dirty little secret xx 4 Link to post Share on other sites
m4p Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I did it! After three months of riding out this emotional rollercoaster, I finally came to the decision to initiate NC. This was MY closure. I ended it the way it should have ended; on my own terms. I feel relief. Lighter. Free from these chains of drowning sorrow and loss. Now that I have taken the first step to closure, I feel like I don't need an explanation or answers from him. It is what it is. I'm curious... How have you handled NC? Does it get harder before it gets easier? What motivates you to commit to the NC rule? The hardest part is to take the first step. And you did it!! My d-day was almost 5 months ago and was on NC for a few months before he broke NC a couple of times. It changed nothing. It is definitely hardest in the first couple months. But without a single point of contact, you will find yourself slowly disconnecting as time passes. What seemed like your whole world actually becomes just history with each day of NC. Don't block the pain or the feelings. Let it wash over you and accept that this is the right thing to do- FOR YOU. Not for him, not for his spouse, his family, his kids... whoever and whatever. This is all for yourself. For me the best motivation was relishing the freedom and being able to be open and honest to myself and people around me. No more cheating and waiting. I used to convince myself that accepting his crumbs and this lifestyle is worth it for a few bits of pleasure in between. It is so not worth it. I will never turn back anymore. I also realised that if someone truly loves you, they will not put you in such a heartbreaking situation. Remember that! Stick to NC and come here for support when you have the urge to break nc or when you are sad. Hang in there! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NewLeaf512 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 so how did you survive day 1? For me it was day 2 that was harder but I can listen if it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Dela Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I will soon join u in your NC "world" girls... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LikeAFriend Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 so how did you survive day 1? For me it was day 2 that was harder but I can listen if it helps. Day 2 of NC has ended. How do I feel? Relief. I think I'm experiencing what alcoholics and drug addicts experience the moment they realize they are going to die if they don't quit their addiction (in my case, he was my addiction). I have hit my "moment of clarity". For the last three months, I have mourned him and our relationship. For the last three months, I have felt hurt, pain, anger, denial, optimism, pessimism, depression, guilt, fear, abandonment...it has been a cathartic experience to say the least. I am now drained and very tired of the sleepless nights, bouts of depression, listening to myself wail and cry for hours, and this feeling of darkness that looms over my head and heavy heart. I have reached my limit with MYSELF. I feel ridiculous sitting home, sobbing for him, obsessively replaying the last 6 months of our relationship and wondering "where did we/he/I go wrong?". Meanwhile, he's comfortably sitting in his home, with his wife, pretending to play the part of the "conformed" husband (yet him still wanting to communicate with me). I wonder, how did I (a very astute, independent, strong woman) manage to get herself into this absurd and disingenuous situation?! I believe I have a lot of soul searching to do. On to day 3..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dela Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Hello, girls. I m also in a sort of NC... I told my MM 2 days ago that it s best if we try to communicate less (and meet the next days so he can get some things he has at my place)... He was sad, he said he didn t expect me to tell him this, i mean he did but not right now etc (although we ve been talking about breaking up since a while now)... Didn t hear from him and today i woke up feeling like crap, i m crying and shaking and i d like to stay in bed all day... How did u get thru all this emotional pain? It kinda pisses me off that he hasn t contacted... Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherSadSong Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 It will get better but it helps to not think about them or sensationalize good times, only think of the negatives and begin to focus on YOU. It will become less and less about him and you sadness and pain will turn into complete dislike of him and his treatment of you. He will become yesterday's news. Forgotten. Link to post Share on other sites
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