uncontrollable crying

[xpaperxcutx]

7 months on and this morning I find myself waking up suddenly and crying uncontrollably. I dreamt about my ex and his new girlfriend and I was devastated. The crying went on a good 10 minutes. It was those uncontrollable that one only sees on tv. But it happened to me.

 

I havent completely let go and that is what is killing me.

 

Why does my ex have such a strong hold on me?

 

I told my close friend about my crying episode and he said all i had been doing is suppressing my feelings. I love my ex still when for the past two months I'd really thought I was okay and that I was finally letting go. But today my mind was filled with thoughts of him and even tonight I found myself crying again after seeing a picture of him. why am I so saD?????

[LizzyLizAP]

Sorry to hear your going through that. I know what you mean, my ex and I have been broken up for over a year and he recently started calling me again but, he has a gf. I have been feeling very sad, because, 1 minute he saids he loves me and the next he saids he does not and that his new "gf" has his heart. Just take your time and heal your heart. Focus on you, the positive in your life. Hang in there hun, sending you positive energy. It is tough but, you and me both will make it through. When you have a soul mate connection to someone it can be extremely hard to let go but, we all have more then 1 soul mate and we just have to pray and keep moving forward no matter what.

[NopeNah]

7 months on and this morning I find myself waking up suddenly and crying uncontrollably. I dreamt about my ex and his new girlfriend and I was devastated. The crying went on a good 10 minutes. It was those uncontrollable that one only sees on tv. But it happened to me.

 

I havent completely let go and that is what is killing me.

 

Why does my ex have such a strong hold on me?

 

I told my close friend about my crying episode and he said all i had been doing is suppressing my feelings. I love my ex still when for the past two months I'd really thought I was okay and that I was finally letting go. But today my mind was filled with thoughts of him and even tonight I found myself crying again after seeing a picture of him. why am I so saD?????

Read your sig and DO IT!

[15Love]

From what I've noticed... The 2 month and the 7 month mark seem to be rough ones. Take comfort in knowing this is "normal". Hellish, but normal. And there's light on the other side. What's that saying? "If you're going through hell, keep going!"

 

May I ask, why were you looking at pics? Stay NC. The hard part I'm learning is that includes looking at pics, stalking social media, etc.

[LeslieKnope]

I totally agree with observation about the 2 and 7 month mark plateaus. I'm just hitting the 2 month mark now and am in shock at how much I'm in agony again, as if the breakup happened yesterday. And I was fine about 2 weeks ago! I actually thought I'd reached some level of peace. Then I remembered we were suppose to go on a trip this past weekend - which he went on with friends instead - and it hit me like a ton of bricks. That caused me to do the heaving sobs thing too and I feel like I'm right back to where I was...

 

Praying4Daylight, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It will get better (that's what I tell myself everyday). Thank goodness we have a forum to express these feelings.

[candie13]

crying is actually good, don't let that scare you. Maybe it's only now that the reality of the BU hits you. Personally, seeing my ex with someone new or knowing that my ex is with someone new is a total turn off.

 

I think maybe you simply have refused the reality and the pain. You need to accept the pain and the loss first, if you want to stop being hung up onto it.

 

I agree, there is something about the second month, like... it's for real real, no coming back, no nothing. It's over for good. I think that sensation goes on in waves... until we stop paying attention to it because we're watching something or someone else

[Ariess10]

Oh please don't say that , I'm coming up in 4 months and it's been one hell of a ride . I hope by 7 months I'm over it .. Please don't say that lol .. Oh well nothing I can do but ride the waves .. it's been a ride , I'm ready to get off

[NopeNah]

Praying4Daylight, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It will get better (that's what I tell myself everyday). Thank goodness we have a forum to express these feelings.

I'm not going through anything(at the moment)? I'm just here for the free coffee and to share my past experiences..All good here.

[Lokin4AReason]

its a tough road for sure ( esp. in the beginning ) and it doesn't help any if your seeing photo(s) of that past relationship ( because all those emotions and feelings will be rushing back )

 

but suppressing your emotions isn't a healthy sign. go to wally world and buy a gumbo bundle of tissues and let it all out, if even you have to buy more to blow through. trust US, its the way to recovery and you ll be and feel stronger afterwards.

 

as mentioned, its time to focus on you ( I know its hard but its for the better good ). rekindle any old hobby at what you found pleasure in or find some kind of activity to keep your mind off of things

 

heck,, I even took up volunteering at an animal refugee/ shelter to get my mind off of things. and trust me, they will love seeing you each and everyday =0)

[LeslieKnope]

I'm not going through anything(at the moment)? I'm just here for the free coffee and to share my past experiences..All good here.

 

Lol. Sorry - wrong poster!

[Poppyolive]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Breakups are super painful. The worst pain. Please remember, just because you are still crying, hurting & upset, doesn't mean its a set back. It is simply a new layer . like an onion. Each and every time you hurt, you're peeling off a layer. Getting closer to healing & light. Don't beat yourself up. These big cries are soul cleansing. Don't block it. Let it out.

 

Here's something that really helped me. Although I was very hurt & sad, I was determined to work on healing. I started a gratitude journal. I bought myself a fancy new notebook & a fine selection of pens. Popped them next to my bed. Each night & morning I aimlessly wrote things u was greatful for. Life, sunshine, a bed, home, food, friends, music, that telephone call, text etc....the more I saw greatness in life the less sadder I became. I saw a beautiful shift in my healing. I was understanding things better. Accepting. Moving on. Letting go.

 

Please. Try it!!! Give it a solid week. Report back.

 

Best wishes.

 

You have friends here.

[Poppyolive]

Lol. Sorry - wrong poster!

 

Wally world? What's really world. I really want to go!!!

[xpaperxcutx]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. Breakups are super painful. The worst pain. Please remember, just because you are still crying, hurting & upset, doesn't mean its a set back. It is simply a new layer . like an onion. Each and every time you hurt, you're peeling off a layer. Getting closer to healing & light. Don't beat yourself up. These big cries are soul cleansing. Don't block it. Let it out.

 

Here's something that really helped me. Although I was very hurt & sad, I was determined to work on healing. I started a gratitude journal. I bought myself a fancy new notebook & a fine selection of pens. Popped them next to my bed. Each night & morning I aimlessly wrote things u was greatful for. Life, sunshine, a bed, home, food, friends, music, that telephone call, text etc....the more I saw greatness in life the less sadder I became. I saw a beautiful shift in my healing. I was understanding things better. Accepting. Moving on. Letting go.

 

Please. Try it!!! Give it a solid week. Report back.

 

Best wishes.

 

You have friends here.

 

Thank you so much for your kind words. I haven't journal-ed in a long time, I've been so scared of my emotions and feelings. Last time I even wrote anything down was two years ago and that time I was going through a short break up with my ex, but he had came back afterwards.

 

I'm in denial because I have so much love for my ex. I thought those feelings went away, but something happened to me to trigger those feelings again. One, I looked on social media when I shouldn't have, and found pictures of him and his new girlfriend and all of his friends together. They seem so happy. He seems so happy. Yet, I also found him posting on Craigslist, or at least I believe it was him, looking for a new girl. I decided to pursue things further to see whether it was him or a friend playing a prank using his photos. Whoever it was, I called him out on his actions and said that the guy in the picture is a great person and not someone who should have his life messed around with.

 

I don't know whether I had done the right thing or not, but I felt like I redeemed myself a bit for at least having done something.

 

I really want him to be happy. I used to be selfish when it came to him but knowing he is happy (without me) is what hurts me the most. But I can't do anything about it. I feel like everything is fate, and all that I'm feeling now is simply a test of my convictions in my faith as well as in my belief in God.

 

I would never come in between him and his girlfriend. I respect his wish and his choices when he left me. And I just want to move on. I haven't dated anybody and I would never put myself out there just so I could have a rebound. But it also sucks because at the end of the day, I do feel sad and lonely knowing that the one person I'd loved with my heart and soul is forever gone.

[Ariess10]

I am starting to think a lot of the "pain" is more of us being used to that person being around, like if we had a bad day we could always call them to talk about it .. Or knowing when you get home someone will be there .. Now we are all alone , we have to care for ourselfs , so I think that's really the hardest part .. Or we do things by ourselfs that we used to do with them , so it's all different now like I bought a cabin that we used to go to , we had a lot of fun (well I did I'm assuming she did as well) .. We had plans of remodeling it and now I go there alone and I'm doing the remodeling by myself ..

 

 

It's just hard to start over after being with someone you thought was gonna be around forever , I am having a hard time excepting she has moved on and it's coming up on 4 months .. my point is we have to force ourselfs to do things without someone , we can't rely on other people to make us happy , I am very guilty of this , I pushed all my friends away and made her everything and I see that wasn't fair to her , she was a very selfish person but for me to put making me happy in her was a big mistake on my part.. So try and doing a lot of things by yourself and make yourself happy ..

[writergal]

7 months on and this morning I find myself waking up suddenly and crying uncontrollably. I dreamt about my ex and his new girlfriend and I was devastated. The crying went on a good 10 minutes. It was those uncontrollable that one only sees on tv. But it happened to me.

 

I havent completely let go and that is what is killing me.

 

Why does my ex have such a strong hold on me?

 

I told my close friend about my crying episode and he said all i had been doing is suppressing my feelings. I love my ex still when for the past two months I'd really thought I was okay and that I was finally letting go. But today my mind was filled with thoughts of him and even tonight I found myself crying again after seeing a picture of him. why am I so saD?????

 

I think it's a good thing that you had a good crying jag. It means you are slowly moving towards acceptance. You may not think you are finally letting go, but I think you are. It's ok to cry over the loss of a relationship That's totally normal.

 

Also, crying is very good for the health because when you repress emotions like sadness, it only ups the cortisol levels in your blood and can cause massive panic attacks to happen.

 

Now, to get all nerdy on you there are three kinds of tears; basal which protect the eye itself, watery eyes which the lachrymal gland activates to remove eye irritants, and emotional tears which contain two kinds of hormones and an actual pain killer called lucine enkephalin.

 

Why do you feel more relaxed after a good crying jag? Because your body releases manganese, potassium and the hormone prolactin which acts as a stress reliever.

 

When women's bodies store up too much manganese, it can cause irritability. Plus, all that negative emotion gets stored in your brain's limbic system which can contribute to depression. So, if you feel like crying, best thing to do for your mind, body and soul is cry.

[xpaperxcutx]

I am starting to think a lot of the "pain" is more of us being used to that person being around, like if we had a bad day we could always call them to talk about it .. Or knowing when you get home someone will be there .. Now we are all alone , we have to care for ourselfs , so I think that's really the hardest part .. Or we do things by ourselfs that we used to do with them , so it's all different now like I bought a cabin that we used to go to , we had a lot of fun (well I did I'm assuming she did as well) .. We had plans of remodeling it and now I go there alone and I'm doing the remodeling by myself ..

 

 

It's just hard to start over after being with someone you thought was gonna be around forever , I am having a hard time excepting she has moved on and it's coming up on 4 months .. my point is we have to force ourselfs to do things without someone , we can't rely on other people to make us happy , I am very guilty of this , I pushed all my friends away and made her everything and I see that wasn't fair to her , she was a very selfish person but for me to put making me happy in her was a big mistake on my part.. So try and doing a lot of things by yourself and make yourself happy ..

 

You really made some good points. It's true I also feel like I have to do alot of things on my own that I never thought I would because he was always there for me. It's been 7 months on, and while I'm forcing myself to move along, and accepting my responsibilities, I do sometimes find myself feeling really empty at the end of the day.

 

I should be happy that I'm getting so many things accomplished, but it saddens me to know that I will never be able to share these moments with him.

 

I also feel guilty as well that sometimes when I find myself feeling even just more happy, I actually reprimand myself for even having a smile. I notice I actually frown or look forlorn more than I do, happy.

 

I see a therapist. And despite what he says about time being able to heal everything, it doesn't look like it for me.

[xpaperxcutx]

I think it's a good thing that you had a good crying jag. It means you are slowly moving towards acceptance. You may not think you are finally letting go, but I think you are. It's ok to cry over the loss of a relationship That's totally normal.

 

Also, crying is very good for the health because when you repress emotions like sadness, it only ups the cortisol levels in your blood and can cause massive panic attacks to happen.

 

Now, to get all nerdy on you there are three kinds of tears; basal which protect the eye itself, watery eyes which the lachrymal gland activates to remove eye irritants, and emotional tears which contain two kinds of hormones and an actual pain killer called lucine enkephalin.

 

Why do you feel more relaxed after a good crying jag? Because your body releases manganese, potassium and the hormone prolactin which acts as a stress reliever.

 

When women's bodies store up too much manganese, it can cause irritability. Plus, all that negative emotion gets stored in your brain's limbic system which can contribute to depression. So, if you feel like crying, best thing to do for your mind, body and soul is cry.

 

Thank you for that. I never realized how much benefits there is in crying. But what do you call crying when all it takes is one single thought of him and my tears would flow out uncontrollably? Some people would call that crazy don't you think?

 

I feel like that I might go crazy sometimes. Like what am I on this Earth for? I turn to God everytime thoughts of him start seeping into my mind and i wish for nothing except to move on and forget him. But it hasn't happened.

 

Because of my spirituality, I do not wish bad for my ex at all either. I want him to be happy. I pray to God that things for him are going well with his girl. I tell myself in my mind that he's not coming back after all, it's bee n7 months and if he had really wanted me, he would have reached out to me already. We like about 10 miles away from each other, in the same city, in the borough, and he knows my house and cell number as well as my email address. If he had really wanted me back, wouldn't he have reached out to me by now? If he hasn't then why is there still hope in my body? That's the hope that I've been suppressing and that is also the hope that makes me cry.