superduper55 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Hi there, My first post, long story but I will try and keep it as short as I can. Married two years ago to the love of my life after 10 years together and 2 children. 3 months into the marriage she was acting weird and I found a photo of one of my best friends naked, holding his tackle. He also works with my ex-wife. He was married with 2 kids. Affair had started before the wedding but she went through with it anyway. Says it wasn't very physical before the wedding but got worse and worse. I left her but after the shock and the pain I have wanted to fix it. For 2 years we have tried many times but she has never let him go. She has lied, kept him in her life. Essentially I told her enough is enough, you need to stop having your cake and eating it. To which she said her feelings are so strong for him she can't let go. So she has left me again to be with him. Kids are in equal custody. I know I am part to blame. I was a good provider, worked hard, run a business, kids in private school but I also neglected her needs and during arguements would let her know how hard I work. Anyway I just feel sick. I don't understand how someone can be so flakey about their commitment to a family, wedding, vows etc... I also don't understand how she can put all her trust in a man who repeatedly cheated on his wife. He has left her to be with mine. More annoyed than upset but do have this horrible sick feeling inside. Link to post Share on other sites
macmillerpwnz Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I know exactly how you feel, they are both wrong for doing what they are doing. I would divorce her immediately and start doing the 180, she doesn't deserve you and with time she will realize she messed up. Link to post Share on other sites
chew123 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Super Duper, Let go of the blame. She was cheating before you got married and still went through with it. No one is perfect in a relationship, everyone has responsibility for its success or failure , but you are in no way responsible for the cheating. that is on her. Get out as soon as you can. Lawyer up and stop thinking of her as the love of your life. There is someone else out there for you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I would just divorce her. Its not your fault she stepped out. Your to blame for the things you did in the marriage. If she was unhappy she should have said so. You bare no responsibility for the cheating. That is 100% on her. No one can blame you for trying. I would tell her to go be with him and walk away. Don't talk to her about anything other than the kids unless its something to do with the divorce. Never stay with a cheater. I tried for ten years. So few ever really learn that its not worth trying. Sorry your going through this but now Its time to take care of yourself. Clay 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Tell your friend's wife and proceed with the divorce. She has the right to know her H is having an affair. Are you 100% sure the children are yours? You can't be sure how long they've been together. In fact you should see about an anulment as she married you under false pretences. Who else knows about the affair? You aren't to blame for her low moral standards. That's all on her and she can feel the shame. Link to post Share on other sites
Author superduper55 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 He has already left his wife to be with mine. The kids are definitely mine, they look rediculously like me. You can't get an anulment in the UK for an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 What made the affair easier for her was probably that you never put your foot down. This time when she thinks she can just come back home you slam the door in her face. Also, get the divorce going ASAP. Fight for custody; document everything (when she's home, when she's out) - that information will be gold in court. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Maybe you can sue her for a divorce, after all she was already banging him when she married you, she lied to you and misrepresented herself. Talk to a lawyer, go for full custody. The children are worth fighting for, she's not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 He has already left his wife to be with mine. The kids are definitely mine, they look rediculously like me. You can't get an anulment in the UK for an affair. I don't live in the UK but there was another guy on here show wife cheated on him and he successfully sued the OM for alienation of affection. I would check with your lawyer. If your able to do that I would put the screws to that guy and watch him suffer like you have. Just a thought. Clay Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Anyway I just feel sick. I don't understand how someone can be so flakey about their commitment to a family, wedding, vows etc... I also don't understand how she can put all her trust in a man who repeatedly cheated on his wife. He has left her to be with mine. Don't try to "understand" what goes through the mind of an unfaithful wife. I burned up 2 years of my life trying to understand exactly that. You have a set of values and things that you live by. Your soon-to-be-ex-wife does as well. They are just different values. The answer you are looking for is actually very simple. Because she wanted to and it was fun. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 He has already left his wife to be with mine. The kids are definitely mine, they look rediculously like me. You can't get an anulment in the UK for an affair. It's not so much about the affair post marriage, but she was already in the affair before you got married...anyway just divorce her....be a great dad for your kids and move towards a better future. She isn't worth much if she married you while cheating. Some friend he was as well. ....as we say.......He's a prat and a total di**head. What goes around comes around........let the cheaters have each other, after all their morals and values are a perfect match. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 He has already left his wife to be with mine. Is his wife good-looking? I'm kidding. Mostly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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