Chi townD Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I go in a week. Just an update. I told her that I liked her and wondered if she felt the same way. I thought I had nothing to lose. Obviously I was knocked back haha. Great guy but just a friend etc. I know I shouldn't have done it. It was wrong of me and I'm.an idiot but since I'm leaving I would have regretted it even more. I'm glad im going so I can put it all behind me. She is still texting me first. Well she always has to be honest but I want to get over her but in the same respect not look needy or as if I am angry with her as I do also value her friendship. Do women do this out of guilt after knocking someone back?? If I had a fiancée I wouldn't keep on texting thebwoman I knocked back. Anyway some advice is now needed to get over her haha. Oh Gee! EXACTLY what I told you she would say huh.... Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 *Why do I like this woman so much? She's not even mine to like. Its like mental torture. That's a good question. I'll rephrase it: "What is it in your makeup that made you invest so much into a person who is so obviously, so completely, unavailable to you?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author caretoimagine Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 You were right mate!! Sometimes you make a fool of yourself in the matters of the heart. From now on no more falling for attached people. I wish she would stop texting me now though. Its not as if a friendship is viable. I'm going to be 24 hours away by flight and I wouldn't mind forgetting about her even though I still really like her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caretoimagine Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 That's a good question. I'll rephrase it: "What is it in your makeup that made you invest so much into a person who is so obviously, so completely, unavailable to you?" I honestly don't know. I'm 26 years old and this is the first time I've ever liked someone in a relationship and then gone and told then. It was an inexcusable act of selfishness on my part. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Workaholic Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 She's getting married and giving up flirting and the thrill of the chase forever She was looking to be sure she was still attractive and could attract If she were really offended she wouldn't still be texting You essentially did her ego a favor and in the process learned a lesson Nothing terrible happened, so relax with calling it inexcusable and beating yourself up Nothing bad about making a mistake Just don't make the same one repeatedly :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author caretoimagine Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 She's getting married and giving up flirting and the thrill of the chase forever She was looking to be sure she was still attractive and could attract If she were really offended she wouldn't still be texting You essentially did her ego a favor and in the process learned a lesson Nothing terrible happened, so relax with calling it inexcusable and beating yourself up Nothing bad about making a mistake Just don't make the same one repeatedly :-) That sums it up quite well. So she's still texting as she likes the attention? I'm going to have to stop texting her back but I don't want to offend her or make myself look immature and as if she has hurt me to such an extent. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caretoimagine Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 Plus I've misread the signals badly. There was enough signals there for me to grasp on to such as her texting me constantly and making excuses to come and see me at work. So yeah I shouldn't feel too bad. Thanks. Its not as if I've been sleazy with her or tried it on with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Maxtor Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 For shi** and giggles I really want to say: "Man, we are going to die someday, go get that booty". BUT What you are feeling is kinda selfish. Its not how you feel with her. Its what you can give to her and her kids. Which is nothing, because you will jeopardize those kids lifes, forever, cause theire mom was a cheater, hurt their dad, they will grow probably hurt by their moms actions. Do you want that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author caretoimagine Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 That's it now. I'll never see her again in all probability. Ill get over it I know but I'm still quite upset at this moment in time. If she keeps in touch I'll have to ignore it or she will be at the back of my mind all the time? Hopefully a fresh start and a new job will see me right. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Workaholic Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 That's it now. I'll never see her again in all probability. Ill get over it I know but I'm still quite upset at this moment in time. If she keeps in touch I'll have to ignore it or she will be at the back of my mind all the time? Hopefully a fresh start and a new job will see me right. Imagine how you would like to feel about the whole situation. Then act as if you felt that way. Pretty soon you will feel that way. Suppose you want to feel: "I had a crush on her, she was looking for attention, I misread the situation and made a mistake, it's a valuable lesson. A little embarrassing but no real harm done. In fact, I learned a bit and next time I'll read the situation better" Then act *as if* you feel that way. Put up a personals profile in the city you are moving to. Start chatting with people there. Plan a date the weekend you arrive. If you feel like you're getting swept up in the crush you had, repeat to yourself "I had a crush on her, she was looking .... " The old feelings won't leave instantly but they will leave sooner than you expect. The old feelings will stick their ugly heads up from time to time but just keep acting as if you felt the desired feelings. There will be ups and downs but the old feelings will go away ... don't worry :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author caretoimagine Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Imagine how you would like to feel about the whole situation. Then act as if you felt that way. Pretty soon you will feel that way. Suppose you want to feel: "I had a crush on her, she was looking for attention, I misread the situation and made a mistake, it's a valuable lesson. A little embarrassing but no real harm done. In fact, I learned a bit and next time I'll read the situation better" Then act *as if* you feel that way. Put up a personals profile in the city you are moving to. Start chatting with people there. Plan a date the weekend you arrive. If you feel like you're getting swept up in the crush you had, repeat to yourself "I had a crush on her, she was looking .... " The old feelings won't leave instantly but they will leave sooner than you expect. The old feelings will stick their ugly heads up from time to time but just keep acting as if you felt the desired feelings. There will be ups and downs but the old feelings will go away ... don't worry :-) Thanks for the advice people. She still contacts me but I just ignore it. I then receive more messages from her. Oh well. A new country equals a new perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caretoimagine Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 Why does she keep texting me and sending photos? What is her motive? Boredom? Or maybe she did like me, more than she let on! I've started dating so although I still like her, she is not the be all and end all. Just wanted to know her intentions. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Stop being a milquetoast sackless wonder. You now exactly why she is still contacting you. Because you are allowing it. If you had any intention of really ending your dilemma you would have done so 6 weeks ago or more. But you need the drama as much as this woman, and get off on it. which is pretty sad. Reread the entire thread and your responses over and over if you think I'm kidding. Why are you asking questions you already know the answer to? Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Stop being a milquetoast sackless wonder. Seconded. You were an ego boost. You acted like an eager little stray puppy begging for a pat on the head from her and it fed her ego to have you looking at her like she was some kind of goddess. Jeez. It ain't rocket science. Link to post Share on other sites
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