Social Anxiety?

[StrangerThanFiction]

I've been looking into this lately because I've really been noticing some of my behaviours to not be textbook normal. I've always had them to some degree but recently they seem to be getting worse and I'd just like to see if anyone else has experienced them and any advice on dealing with them.

 

1)I am literally afraid to try anything new. I'll think about taking a yoga class (for example) but I won't end up doing it because I'll get anxiety over being in it with people I don't know and don't know how to act around them.

 

2)The thought of hanging out with my friends either exhausts me or I don't want to do it because I'm afraid they'll think I'm boring and not want to hang out with me again. More anxiety.

 

3)I prefer being alone most times because I feel trapped by other people's expectations of demands when I'm around them. On the other hand I DO want to be around people but I just don't know how to act.

 

 

Those are just a few of the major issues I've been having lately. They never really used to be a problem but over the last six months they've gotten so bad that I hate leaving my house or even having conversations through text. I realize that my thoughts leading to the anxiety are irrational and that's why I'm wondering if there's something wrong. I am looking into getting into therapy but, ironically, the thought of even making the phone call to inquire about it almost sends me into a panic attack. So if anyone's been through something similar I would really appreciate the input.

[regine_phalange]

I really feel where you're coming from. (hugs). Did anything happen 6 months ago that may have had an effect in your anxiety? I developed this kind of anxiety the last years and I think the reason was that my self-esteem was lowered dangerously by a toxic relationship I had (the effect remained even after I broke up). Before that I had many friends and wasn't scared of meeting new people or trying new things. I have always been a bit shy but not anxious. This time I was scared of how people may criticise and hurt me. I even felt that I don't like people that much anymore. I didn't see the point of having interpersonal relationships. Stupid, but that's how I felt.

 

How did it go away (at least partly)?

 

I became so isolated and lonely that I couldn't handle it anymore. Plus the logical thought that came to me; if I keep myself isolated I'll remain lonely for the rest of the century. Loneliness is the unhealthiest thing in the world. I reached out to people I hadn't talked to for a long time. Just to say hi for no reason at all and see how they're doing. I advertised my services to people and I got more work. I became friendly with some of these people too. It doesn't take any special gift to have people like you, just to put yourself out there.

 

Now, I haven't gone back to normal 100%. But I'm trying.

 

Anyway. Enough about me. I'll try to give my point of view in your specific problems.

 

1) If you go somewhere to learn yoga, why do you think you have to win over your fellow students? I'm not saying that this is invalid, I 100% understand how you feel, believe me. But if you think about it, your mail goal is to learn yoga, not to impress people. You don't need to act a certain way around them. You just go, lay on your mat, and do your poses. You don't need to speak. If someone speaks to you then you reply naturally. And with time you may build a relationship. But you also may not, which is totally fine. We can;t build relationships with everybody. But there;s no need to block them either.

 

2) <3 You know that this is not true. I honestly never met a person who's boring. Incompatible yes, thousands of times. But boring never. Why do you think you're boring? Do you have any reasons to believe that? Specific incidents? If yes, haven;t you ever got bored while hanging out with people you love? Was it because of them or was it by pure chance? Did it affect your love for them? Why do you think it would be different for you? You think that your friends don't love you?

 

3) What kind of expectations and demands do you want to avoid? Could it be that you can't say "no" that makes you avoid people and not people per se?

[NoMoreGamez]

Sounds like you got it. Social Anxiety. I think so but that's just me.. I think if you feel some kind of fear, resistance, hesitation, and others would judge you for it.. Then you fear what your moods and situations in life will be like?!!? What they will think of you?! Almost like playing a game or sport and you need practice on some area, because you are losing, and the competitors are getting really good and more of.

 

There's that fear. That, "Oh sh*t! There's more. And they're good. And they don't seem to like me".

 

But you don't know. They might?? They might just have a funny way of showing it. But you fear it because

you don't know it!!!

 

Fear of the unknown. Haha. I got that. I had it.