Moriarti Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 My close friend is going through a divorce and I've been trying to talk her off the ledge the last couple of days. She is generally very pessimistic and can only think about the worst possible outcome. She thinks that because she makes more money than her husband she will be forced to pay too much in alimony and child support and thus not be able to afford to support the children and eventually lose custody because of it. I'm trying to find some information about the California divorce laws so I can calm her down a bit. Here are as many facts I know about her situation. -two young children (6 and 8) -no assets other than their own vehicles - married for 8 years - His income is 45k + overtime. Her income is a bit harder to pinpoint since she is per diem and has only been on the job for 8 months. But I think her yearly income is around 65-70k. She does not have health care or benefits, though. His parents are paying for his attorney. She does currently have an attorney because she says she can't afford one. She had one initially but he was really bad. Bad as in he forgot to file a response and then his response to her was "sorry, I forgot." They have agreed to go to mediation. Does she need an attorney for mediation? I told her it would be wise to have an attorney to at least look over any documents before she signs anything. I'm not sure if she needs an actual attorney for the mediation process, though. She is worried her husband is not going to agree to anything in mediation. She says she is willing to go 50/50 custody and provide some spousal support.She has more debts than he does (student loans). I'm not sure if that factors into spousal support. His attorney sent her an offer for her to pay $600/month in child support and $350/month in spousal support. She refused. That seems like an outrageous offer to me, but I don't know anything about California divorce law. Is there anything I could tell my friend? Do you think her husband will get child support? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMyCat Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 CA is a community property state, which means if the couple does not come to their own agreement, the court splits everything, debts and assets, 50/50. There are lots of online resources, just google "Divorce in California" and you can quickly brush up on things to tell your friend. If they own a home and can't agree on who will live in it, it will have to be sold and any profits split, for example. No reason to think that he will get the kids. More likely, a joint custody of some sort will occur. But each case is different. Also, as a rule, debts like student loans do not get divided if they were incurred before the marriage, so she may be stuck with those. Did she turn down the $950 because she thought it was too low? What amount is she hoping for? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 His income is 45k + overtime. Her income is a bit harder to pinpoint since she is per diem and has only been on the job for 8 months. But I think her yearly income is around 65-70k. Wow, $110K in joint income and no assets other than a couple of cars? Were financial issues driving the divorce? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moriarti Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 CA is a community property state, which means if the couple does not come to their own agreement, the court splits everything, debts and assets, 50/50. There are lots of online resources, just google "Divorce in California" and you can quickly brush up on things to tell your friend. If they own a home and can't agree on who will live in it, it will have to be sold and any profits split, for example. No reason to think that he will get the kids. More likely, a joint custody of some sort will occur. But each case is different. Also, as a rule, debts like student loans do not get divided if they were incurred before the marriage, so she may be stuck with those. Did she turn down the $950 because she thought it was too low? What amount is she hoping for? The $950 is what he is asking her to pay him. She doesn't think she should have to pay child support to him. The student loan was incurred after they got married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moriarti Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Wow, $110K in joint income and no assets other than a couple of cars? Were financial issues driving the divorce? Mr. Lucky I guess you could say that. On two occasions he gambled away their whole savings. He has a gambling addiction. And he refuses to get help. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted_1 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I guess you could say that. On two occasions he gambled away their whole savings. He has a gambling addiction. And he refuses to get help. Your friend needs to bring this up. Is there record of this gambling debt? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I guess you could say that. On two occasions he gambled away their whole savings. He has a gambling addiction. And he refuses to get help. Then she needs to find evidence of this and use it against him in court/mediation. Chances are, any money she gives him will go to his gambling addiction. And yes, she should bring her lawyer to mediation! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moriarti Posted July 22, 2015 Author Share Posted July 22, 2015 Can anyone give any insight on how spousal and child support is determined? Given that she makes more than him will she have to pay either if they get 50/50? Link to post Share on other sites
hromo Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 input. how is going after the kids. The primary care? if he is looking after the children, for the majority of time then she would have to pay child support. normally the courts look at your income for the last three years and come up with an average. it doesn't make sense that they would only look at your income this year. She needs to get a good attorney, as she is getting the shaft big time. Link to post Share on other sites
hromo Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 She needs to bring all her financial documents to show his spending habits Link to post Share on other sites
Author Moriarti Posted July 24, 2015 Author Share Posted July 24, 2015 input. how is going after the kids. The primary care? if he is looking after the children, for the majority of time then she would have to pay child support. normally the courts look at your income for the last three years and come up with an average. it doesn't make sense that they would only look at your income this year. She needs to get a good attorney, as she is getting the shaft big time. He is going for 50/50 custody and spousal and child support. Link to post Share on other sites
hromo Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 He cannot get child support for being with his children 50% of the time. She needs to ensure she gets a good lawyer, it will cost her upfront but he is pulling a fast one on her. Sorry she is going through this, but if she doesn't line herself with the a good attorney and spend time looking at this from every avenue legally, she will get screwed. Link to post Share on other sites
angelcake Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 If she makes quite a bit more than him, he CAN qualify for child support, even with 50/50 custody. I know this is possible because I know others in this position. Its based on income. She does need to get a good attorney, and do what is fair and right for her children. Link to post Share on other sites
angelcake Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 (edited) Can anyone give any insight on how spousal and child support is determined? Given that she makes more than him will she have to pay either if they get 50/50? She needs to google her state and a child support calculator and do the math. That will give her a general idea of where she stands. In my state, the income amount is combined and from that, an amount is determined as to what the child should receive per month. Then that amount is divided up according to the income. Say between their income, its determined $1000 should go to the child per month. If one parent makes double what the other makes, then the breadwinner may be responsible for $750 of it, while the lesser paid parent is expected to contribute $250. But they also take any spousal support into consideration and its taken off the top of the payer's income. Does any of this make sense? It's all based on percentages. As for his gambling, it depends on what she is able to prove, and what a judge thinks. If he goes for help for his addiction, it's possible that is all a judge needs to hear to give him the benefit of the doubt. Divorces are messy and ugly but with the right attorney, things can get a lot better. One also has to be willing to compromise and find a position that they can live with. Edited July 24, 2015 by angelcake Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 If she makes quite a bit more than him, he CAN qualify for child support, even with 50/50 custody. I know this is possible because I know others in this position. Its based on income. She does need to get a good attorney, and do what is fair and right for her children. Absolutely he can get child support. I have 50/50 and I pay it. The child support number is usually formulaic and mandated by law. So you just use what comes out of the calculator. The spousal support varies by state to state. I don't know CA. But what I would do is counter at what comes out of the child support calc for CA and 50% of his spousal support offer. This isn't rocket science. And for the record, I would have a hardon for a month of all I had to pay was 950. Omg omg omg. Pinch me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts