BetheButterfly Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Well.......... I have given the answer on "how to stay married" as I really do not know, but I see that as a cop out. I would say the first thing is that we have the same goals. We are working, for the most part, to the same ends, and do not conflict. We both enjoy each others company, and do best when we are alone with each other. We can also, be by ourselves and be happy, we do not need to be in each others pocket. We each have our own space and hobbies. We have sex 2 to 3 time a week, and the chance of sex is there every time we go to bed or are alone. I would prefer she never put on her clothes, truth be told, and I have always treated her as a desired sexual being. She and I have never had to wonder if the we wanted, or lusted for, each other. For the two great crisis in our marriage/relationship, we worked together, and talked it out. We tend to talk out our fights, and not hold grudges. Myself, once I give my word to forgive, I stick to it. We married young, I was 19 she 21. We had been dating 3 years before that. We both faced parents and friends that did not want us to date, or marry. That "us against the world" helped in the early years, as when things got bad, we were not going to quit, and prove anybody right. We grew up together, and supported each other when we were young and facing life. We know each others secrets. We had our kids young as well. We have always had a strong connection with each other, had when we were teenagers, and have it now. Sometimes I feel like we are fugitives from the law of averages. You and your wife are awesome role models!!! :love: Thanks so much for sharing about your marriage!!! (I boldened some of your post that impacted me.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 I wanted to bump this positive thread They each said that they wanted to be able to still take the other out, or buy a gift, and it be from THEM. While the accounts thing wasn't the center of the matter, Wow. My husband and I have a shared account, but that's such a cool reason to have different accounts! it was one of many small things they did to constantly remind themselves to always date the other, never take them for granted, show every day that they appreciated the other, and earn each others' love as they gave their own unconditionally. That's so beautiful!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Her Bridges Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Wow. My husband and I have a shared account, but that's such a cool reason to have different accounts! That's so beautiful!!! It is! And like the good teenager I was at the time, I had to act completely disgusted at their lovey-doveyness. But it's definitely something I can appreciate now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 You and your wife are awesome role models!!! :love: Thanks so much for sharing about your marriage!!! (I boldened some of your post that impacted me.) Oh, and I forgot to add...... She is a darn good cook, helps a marriage when there is good food to be had. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Oh, and I forgot to add...... She is a darn good cook, helps a marriage when there is good food to be had. My husband is an awesome cook. I'm afraid I'm not. He loves me anyways!!! (I am learning some things, and I should learn how to make my hubby's favorite salsa... ) I'll do that to show him I love him and that will give him time to do other things. Thanks for the indirect reminder. Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 It is! And like the good teenager I was at the time, I had to act completely disgusted at their lovey-doveyness. But it's definitely something I can appreciate now. For sure!!! I remember being all embarrassed when my parents kissed when I was a kid and a teen. Now when they kiss and I see them, I say, "You go enjoy yourself... don't mind me!" Lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 After the break up of my marriage, I swore that I would never all in love again. I had a great life living alone, I could do what I wanted, whenever I wanted and with whomever I wanted. That lasted for 14 years. I met my current GF 22 years ago. She was living with and had been living with another man for several years. On the night I met her I knew there was a face I could kiss good morning to the rest of my life. That should have been a clue. Another clue, was when I saw them walking together holding hands, and I thought how much I wished it would have been me holding her hand. I decided to wait, as he was sure to make a mistake sometime. We are coming up on our 20th anniversary of our first date. It was supposed to be a FWIB relationship. Second date, first kiss, and it was already too late for me, I went home that night awakened to the fact that I was very lonely. My GF is totally out of my league in the looks department, and is the sweetest most caring, giving person I have ever met. One of the reasons we have lasted so long, I that I never forget there is a long line of unseen men standing in a line behind me waiting for me to make a mistake like her previous BF. Almost each and every night when we have supper, I reflect upon how lucky I am to be eating with such a beautiful woman. And there are many men who would give their right arm to be sitting in my chair. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted August 6, 2015 Share Posted August 6, 2015 We are coming up on our 20th anniversary of our first date. It was supposed to be a FWIB relationship. Second date, first kiss, and it was already too late for me, I went home that night awakened to the fact that I was very lonely. Congratulations 2.50 a gallon!!! My GF is totally out of my league in the looks department, and is the sweetest most caring, giving person I have ever met. That is very nice of you to say. One of the reasons we have lasted so long, I that I never forget there is a long line of unseen men standing in a line behind me waiting for me to make a mistake like her previous BF. Almost each and every night when we have supper, I reflect upon how lucky I am to be eating with such a beautiful woman. And there are many men who would give their right arm to be sitting in my chair. Wow. That is a very insightful. With my husband, I know that I am blessed to be his wife. I know many other women would love to be his wife because he is kind, good, super intelligent, a hard worker, creative, handsome and funny. Thanks for the reminder to not take one's loved one for granted!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Radagast Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 What has been your foundation for a good marriage or long term relationship? Respect. Love. Humour. Fun. Caring. Integrity. Interest. Intelligence. Thoughtfulness. Connectedness. Engagement. Commitment. Focus. We enjoy each other. Our values are closely aligned. We are grateful that we are together. We "fit" into each other's lives very comfortably. We are both second timers. We both married young. She realised her mistake quickly and divorced early. I stuck mine out for decades. Both of us learned from our first marriages how badly things can go wrong, and how not to be in a marriage. We tell each other many times a day how much we love each other. And we mean it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grumpybutfun Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 Oh, and I forgot to add...... She is a darn good cook, helps a marriage when there is good food to be had. Hear, hear! Good cooking is a skill....my wife is the best. G Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grumpybutfun Posted August 13, 2015 Author Share Posted August 13, 2015 After the break up of my marriage, I swore that I would never all in love again. I had a great life living alone, I could do what I wanted, whenever I wanted and with whomever I wanted. That lasted for 14 years. I met my current GF 22 years ago. She was living with and had been living with another man for several years. On the night I met her I knew there was a face I could kiss good morning to the rest of my life. That should have been a clue. Another clue, was when I saw them walking together holding hands, and I thought how much I wished it would have been me holding her hand. I decided to wait, as he was sure to make a mistake sometime. We are coming up on our 20th anniversary of our first date. It was supposed to be a FWIB relationship. Second date, first kiss, and it was already too late for me, I went home that night awakened to the fact that I was very lonely. My GF is totally out of my league in the looks department, and is the sweetest most caring, giving person I have ever met. One of the reasons we have lasted so long, I that I never forget there is a long line of unseen men standing in a line behind me waiting for me to make a mistake like her previous BF. Almost each and every night when we have supper, I reflect upon how lucky I am to be eating with such a beautiful woman. And there are many men who would give their right arm to be sitting in my chair. Good post, man. I try my best not to take my relationship,with my wife for granted. I'm indeed a lucky man too...and I work hard to make sure she feels loved, protected and safe with me. I'm not impervious to the line of men who would be glad to take my place either. My woman is a gem. Best, Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Good post, man. I try my best not to take my relationship,with my wife for granted. I'm indeed a lucky man too...and I work hard to make sure she feels loved, protected and safe with me. I'm not impervious to the line of men who would be glad to take my place either. My woman is a gem. Best, Grumps It's refreshing to hear this! So many people look at their marriages and only see the faults (me included.) Need to be more like you Grumpy! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts