BLUEGREEN2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 My husband and I have been married for two years and separated for 2 months. There is hardly no contact. He states that he is angry at me and I have made great strides on my own to correct the issues. I only contact him every once in a while. He still has lots of belongings at our home. I am not sure if we are going to divorce or what. It is scaring me because of the no contact issue. This is my first time dealing with all of this. I want to reach out to him but I get the feeling that he wants his space. He tells me that he still loves me and cares for me but is not ready to reconcile yet because he is still angry. Any advice would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Its hard to give advice with no information to go on. I mean know what he is angry about is fair important to any advice given. Ex: if you have a boyfriend on the side I would suggest giving him space, but if he is pissed because you spent the rent money on shoes I would suggest contacting him every so often. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLUEGREEN2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 My husband and I have been married for two years and separated for 2 months. There is hardly no contact. He states that he is angry at me and I have made great strides on my own to correct the issues. I only contact him every once in a while. He still has lots of belongings at our home. I am not sure if we are going to divorce or what. It is scaring me because of the no contact issue. This is my first time dealing with all of this. I want to reach out to him but I get the feeling that he wants his space. He tells me that he still loves me and cares for me but is not ready to reconcile yet because he is still angry. Any advice would be appreciated He is angry because of money. We handle money differently and I totally believe that his way his better but I have to show him that. I cant show him or prove it to me because he is not contacting me or we are not seeing each other. I guess my main question is that is it normal for no contact during a separation no matter what the issue? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 There is nothing anybody can say that would make sense, until we actually know what your H is angry about. Is he being unreasonable, or does he have justification? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLUEGREEN2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Its hard to give advice with no information to go on. I mean know what he is angry about is fair important to any advice given. Ex: if you have a boyfriend on the side I would suggest giving him space, but if he is pissed because you spent the rent money on shoes I would suggest contacting him every so often. He is angry because of money. We handle money differently. I totally agree that his way is better. How can I show him that I am making effort when he doesn't contact me or anything? I am bettering myself in areas that will better our marriage. Is it normal to have no contact during a separation? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 He is angry because of money. We handle money differently and I totally believe that his way his better but I have to show him that. I cant show him or prove it to me because he is not contacting me or we are not seeing each other. I guess my main question is that is it normal for no contact during a separation no matter what the issue? Ok, simultaneous posting... In which case.... What on earth happened to make it serious enough for him to actually LEAVE - ?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLUEGREEN2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 There is nothing anybody can say that would make sense, until we actually know what your H is angry about. Is he being unreasonable, or does he have justification? He is angry about money. We handle money differently and to be honest I really didn't try to see it his way. For years I have done it my way. I honestly believe that his way is better and I am making great strides to change my habits and in fact have changed them. I have no way to prove to him because he wont contact me or see me. I believe he has justification because I should of listened. This is my first time to be married. All of this is really scary to me. I am no sure about the no contact thing. I am thinking that he needs his space and time to cool off. We have had a couple of arguments since being seperated Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 He is angry because of money. We handle money differently and I totally believe that his way his better but I have to show him that. I cant show him or prove it to me because he is not contacting me or we are not seeing each other. I guess my main question is that is it normal for no contact during a separation no matter what the issue? Could this be a power move on his part? Money is still the number one reason for divorce, so yes its fair normal. I would suggest you stand your ground on what you will and will not accept in this marriage. Maybe tell him that you know his way is best, but his actions are unacceptable and you will not be shut out when he gets upset. You are equal partners here and not talking will create bigger issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLUEGREEN2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 could this be a power move on his part? Money is still the number one reason for divorce, so yes its fair normal. I would suggest you stand your ground on what you will and will not accept in this marriage. Maybe tell him that you know his way is best, but his actions are unacceptable and you will not be shut out when he gets upset. You are equal partners here and not talking will create bigger issues. not sure if it is or not. I have told him what i want and what i dont. I totally know that the no communication thing is very unhealthy but i also do not want irritate him. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I hate to say this but he seems to be acting like a petulant boy. It's hard to tell because you are still not very forthcoming but if it's simply a question of changing your MO on how you deal with, save, handle, spend or share money, rather than a specific, serious irretrievable incident, it seems he's trying to exert an unreasonable amount of influence on you by being somewhat spiteful. On the face of it, he seems to be trying to control you by his actions... In which case, you play him at his own game, fall off HIS radar, and carry on with your life. If he has chosen to give you the 'silent treatment' then there's little you can do, but to mirror his actions.... you could also contact his parents and explain you had a quarrel (don't go into details) he's gone missing, and won't respond, so you're worried about him. Difficult move, but it might just get him to finally put his head above the parapet.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLUEGREEN2015 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 I hate to say this but he seems to be acting like a petulant boy. It's hard to tell because you are still not very forthcoming but if it's simply a question of changing your MO on how you deal with, save, handle, spend or share money, rather than a specific, serious irretrievable incident, it seems he's trying to exert an unreasonable amount of influence on you by being somewhat spiteful. On the face of it, he seems to be trying to control you by his actions... In which case, you play him at his own game, fall off HIS radar, and carry on with your life. If he has chosen to give you the 'silent treatment' then there's little you can do, but to mirror his actions.... you could also contact his parents and explain you had a quarrel (don't go into details) he's gone missing, and won't respond, so you're worried about him. Difficult move, but it might just get him to finally put his head above the parapet.... sorry about the lack of info. I appreciate the advice and encouragement. I just have to keep myself busy. I am normally a go get em type of woman but I have to stay my distance which is really hard Link to post Share on other sites
introverted_1 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 It's hard to know if he's being unreasonable when you won't disclose your spending habits or what it was about yours that ticked him off. Are you a big time online shopper? Do you go to malls a lot and spend money willy-nilly? It's hard for the rest of us to get a handle on what's going on in your situation. If you are shopping like crazy and putting the two of you in debt, that's a big deal. If you're just getting household necessities, that makes him a controlling person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLUEGREEN2015 Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 It's hard to know if he's being unreasonable when you won't disclose your spending habits or what it was about yours that ticked him off. Are you a big time online shopper? Do you go to malls a lot and spend money willy-nilly? It's hard for the rest of us to get a handle on what's going on in your situation. If you are shopping like crazy and putting the two of you in debt, that's a big deal. If you're just getting household necessities, that makes him a controlling person. I have really good spending habits. We have no credit cards. I do not Blow money. That is what perplexes me about he is angry. He claims that my non enthusiasm aboyt a budget is frustrating. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I have really good spending habits. We have no credit cards. I do not Blow money. That is what perplexes me about he is angry. He claims that my non enthusiasm aboyt a budget is frustrating. Why would you want to stay married to someone who makes a separation mountain out of a budget disagreement molehill ??? How has he handled other disagreements you've had? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I have really good spending habits. We have no credit cards. I do not Blow money. That is what perplexes me about he is angry. He claims that my non enthusiasm aboyt a budget is frustrating. Providing the bills get paid and you have money to spare, instead of 'too much month at the end of the money', what precisely is he so fixated on? What's with the anger over 'non-enthusiasm'? Is he trying to impose a limit on what you spend, and what you spend it on....? Link to post Share on other sites
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