Jeans79 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 My bf and I have been together for 3 yrs . In the very beginning of our relationship he cheated on me and I forgave him and we moved forward . He move in with me and we have been living together for the past 2yrs . Here in the past 6 mo I have had to travel a lot out of state for medical reasons . Well here is the issue I really need some advice on . I was doing some cleaning in my room yesterday and came across a used condom and wrapper .. I imeaditly confronted him about it and his excuse was he used it for masterbation ? We have not used condoms since we both became committed to one another . I found his story to be very fishy to begin with . He said he got horney at 2 am and just decided to use it ? But here is why I find his story fishy. He claimed he used it to keep from making a mess . He hates condoms and doesn't like to use them . And then when I asked him where did u get the condom from ? He claimed the local health dept but I personally have seen the ones from there and they do not use this brand. He got very defensive and angry when I told him that none of what he told me made any kind of sense . He all the sudden started to tell me that I was accusing him of cheating and flipping out . What makes me believe it was used to cheat with is since I returned home he has been very distant and not very affectionate , we have always had a very good sex life and he is in some ways a prude when it comes to masterbation . He gets txt and phone calls and won't answer them when I'm around he claims they are just junk e mails . His behavior has been very weird . I have never seen him ever use a condom in our relationship and to all the sudden he is getting them from the health dept ???? Is it possiable he is tellin the truth or is he cheating . I am to embarrassed to ask my friends or family . Just in need of some advise .. It's literally driving me crazy .. Link to post Share on other sites
nightmare01 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 The condom story is bull crap. A guy doesn't go out and buy or get condoms for masturbation. No way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Strike one - In the very beginning of our relationship he cheated on me. Strike two - I was doing some cleaning in my room yesterday and came across a used condom and wrapper Strike three - He gets txt and phone calls and won't answer them when I'm around Proceed at your own peril... Mr. Lucky 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy43 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Sorry but he is cheating, and by the sounds of it he will not admit to it without proof. You need to either leave now or start investigating. I would get a var in his car immediately and get into that phone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 The condom story is bull crap. A guy doesn't go out and buy or get condoms for masturbation. No way. At two in the morning yet! Based on his dislike of condoms, he surely didn't hit the health department up during the day for some freebies *in case* he woke up horny at 2 am. No way. His defensiveness tells you everything you need to know. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I hope you do not believe any of this crap he has told you. If you do, there is not much advice anyone can give you that will help you. You have it appears two choices. Either you can go into full detective mode which will take some effort but camn be done if you want to listen on what to do, or you can do what you probably should do and move your stuff out of the apartment and that way he can be "messy" without the condom without bothering you. He is cheating on you and is going to contionue to do it!!! The next move is yours to make 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 His story is full of red flags and you know it. Can't believe he even tried to fight his way out of it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I think the moral of this story is:- If a guy cheats on you at the beginning of your relationship (he wasn't properly committed) or before you get married (he panicked), when you are pregnant (he felt neglected), when you are travelling for work (he missed the sex) or any other "understandable" excuse you can make up in your head for why he cheated, DO NOT think this is a one off and somehow your love will keep him faithful. Look at as an opportunity to see who he really is, and dump him forthwith, no ifs, buts or maybes. Otherwise, you are in for a lot of disappointment, upset in your life, and heartache. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 His story is full of red flags and you know it. Can't believe he even tried to fight his way out of it. They always do, first rule of cheating - deny, deny, deny. Cheaters will argue black is white. It sadly often works too. The pain of the cheating revelation is just too severe for the betrayed, and so believing the cheater (the love of their life) is thus a welcome relief, no matter how ludicrous a story it may seem to an outsider. He wasn't climbing out of her bedroom window, half naked, he was merely checking the window fastening - it was a hot day... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 No man goes out to buy condoms at 2am to masterbate. What a load of nonsense. He obviously thinks you were born yesterday. Can you get a look at his phone? See who he's texting? You really don't need any proof as the condom was enough. I suggest you end this relationship before you waste more than the 3 years you already have with him. If he tries to protest his innocence, you can tell him to prove it. If he asks how he can do that, tell him to post his 'dilemma ' on an infidelity forum for advice. I bet you he won't do it or if he does, he won't listen to what they tell him. The truth is you don't need to do that, as deep down you know he's cheating. You go out of town for medical care and he cheats.....who wants a boyfriend like that. The sooner you dump him, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Right. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Ifalltopieces Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Look on the bright side...at least he practiced safe sex... Get out while you can before you do something silly like marry him. You deserve better. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 He's been cheating since the beginning, why do you expect that he changed? Dump his bum. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Fact that he got angry at you and defensive IS a big red flag, instead of calmly telling you he loves you and you have nothing to worry about. His reaction is guilt and deflect and put it back on you. He cheated on you before, and now your gut is telling you something is off and not adding up. I find the condom thing weird, why wouldn't he just jerk off in the shower or use a towel to clean up the mess? And the hiding the phone from you at times is suspicious too. Sex isn't the same...These things add up! He isn't going to confess, so you need to decide what to do. Snoop more? Hire a PI? Ask a trusted friend to follow him? Or just tell him point blank that you don't trust him and something feels different, and end it with him. You've been through this before, forgave him once. Forgiving a second time will be your mistake as he just didn't learn from the past and he hasn't changed. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Is it possible he is telling the truth or is he cheating?It's possible. But yes, he's cheating. Kick him out. Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 What is the point of masterbating with a condom on? That is the most ridiculous lie that a man could tell. Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Jeans79, This does not pass the laugh test. Ask him to be honest. You need to break up. This will only lead to more hurt later Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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