Signals...signals...

[ConfusedInOC]

I don't know if it's just that I am single and am starting to notice this more or not, because when I was with the EX, I didn't care about other women. That said...

 

I go to the gym 3x a week. Lately I've noticed a few "regulars" checking me out. By that I mean a trainer and few good looking women. They'll occasionally make eye contact and smile. The trainer, she's the only one I am not sure about because it's her job to be friendly and help people.

 

The others, I dunno. The gym is a meat market, I know that -- and I feel awkward approaching someone at the gym because at this point, men are doing it all the time. I like differentiate myself from most guys coz I think I am a good catch for the right person.

 

So, do you think I should spark up a conversation inside or wait till they are coming or going outside to approach them? Or, should I not try to meet people at the gym? My church has singles events, I was thinking about going to some of those.

 

At this point, I am completely turned off from internet dating. Thoughts?

[Merin]

I don't think there is a wrong place to meet or talk to people who catch your interest... Well unless of course you're already on a date and the person catching your attention isn't your date... doh! LOL then yeah... wait and come back to that later....

 

Use common sense and Good taste when starting a conversation and you're good to go

[Naive]

OC don't rush into anything. You just ended a relationship so most likely anyone you go out with will be the rebound chick. If something happens then it does if not well good. Know what I mean, jellybean?

[alphamale]

Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

I don't know if it's just that I am single and am starting to notice this more or not, because when I was with the EX, I didn't care about other women.

just cause you're with someone does not mean you've gone blind, you can still scope and look, just don't f***.

 

I go to the gym 3x a week. Lately I've noticed a few "regulars" checking me out. By that I mean a trainer and few good looking women. They'll occasionally make eye contact and smile.

a smile + eye contact from a woman means she is amenable to an approach and at least some conversation. it means she is not repulsed by you. repeated smiles + eye contact over time is the strongest indication of attraction by far. people don't look at and smile at things they don't like.

 

-- and I feel awkward approaching someone at the gym because at this point, men are doing it all the time.

why? cut out the "nice guy" non-threatenting asexual bullshyt. women that are interested in you WANT you to approach them! the key is to hone in on the chicks that have given you an invitation to approach and avoid the ones that are indifferent.

 

I like differentiate myself from most guys coz I think I am a good catch for the right person.

why??? u are no better or worse than most other dudes out there? cut the ego BS.

 

So, do you think I should spark up a conversation inside or wait till they are coming or going outside to approach them?

start talking with them in the gym. dont follow them to their car after sunset like a damn stalker! for women it is safe inside the bldg where there are other people. and if she has already seen you working out for the past 6 months she knows you're safe.

 

grow some balls man and start chasing some skirts!

 

alpha

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by ~Naive~

OC don't rush into anything. You just ended a relationship so most likely anyone you go out with will be the rebound chick. If something happens then it does if not well good. Know what I mean, jellybean?

 

I know. I agree.

 

I went on a date on Sunday night and I was miserable the whole time....

 

But at the same time, I hate being alone. There's a big hole where "she" used to be. That sucks.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by ~Naive~

OC don't rush into anything. You just ended a relationship

 

Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

I know. I agree.

COC, don't listen to ~NAIVE~'s bullkrap. the best thing u can do now is to date and meet other women. otherwise you will go insane over the past. don't cry over spilled milk. meet new women and try to have fun even if it hurts.

[Naive]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

 

 

COC, don't listen to ~NAIVE~'s bullkrap. the best thing u can do now is to date and meet other women. otherwise you will go insane over the past. don't cry over spilled milk. meet new women and try to have fun even if it hurts.

 

 

Don't hate alpha, congratulate cause my advice is better than yours *naive sticks out her tongue at you, but then puts it back in you might want to take advantage*

[Marshbear]

why? cut out the "nice guy" non-threatenting asexual bullshyt. women that are interested in you WANT you to approach them! the key is to hone in on the chicks that have given you an invitation to approach and avoid the ones that are indifferent.

 

I agree with alpha. Quit stalling and make a move. A women can't be that mad if they say no because all you did was show some interest in them. Most females like attention and if theu get all huffy because you showed the same then F em. Be aggressive and you won't go wrong. You can't be shy all your life. Shyness is what is holding you back. Be bold...

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by Marshbear

why? cut out the "nice guy" non-threatenting asexual bullshyt. women that are interested in you WANT you to approach them! the key is to hone in on the chicks that have given you an invitation to approach and avoid the ones that are indifferent.

 

I agree with alpha. Quit stalling and make a move. A women can't be that mad if they say no because all you did was show some interest in them. Most females like attention and if theu get all huffy because you showed the same then F em. Be aggressive and you won't go wrong. You can't be shy all your life. Shyness is what is holding you back. Be bold...

 

It's not being shy that's holding me back. It's the atmosphere in which the business of meeting is occuring. As I mentioned, it's a meat market in the gym and I definitely want to establish that I am not a "run of the mill gym-playa'" if you get my drift.

 

I'm not trying to overthink things, I am just not the kind of guy that goes from port to port, so to speak, but prefers to call ONE port home.

[BrotherAaron]

Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

It's not being shy that's holding me back. It's the atmosphere in which the business of meeting is occuring. As I mentioned, it's a meat market in the gym and I definitely want to establish that I am not a "run of the mill gym-playa'" if you get my drift.

 

I'm not trying to overthink things, I am just not the kind of guy that goes from port to port, so to speak, but prefers to call ONE port home.

 

If you are interested in these girls, and you see them at the gym only, then the only way to get them is to approach them at the gym. It doesn't make you "run of the mill" to talk to an attractive woman. It's being too shy to do it that makes you run of the mill. I'm sure good looking girls are sick of being oggled at the gym by guys that just leave. If they're interested in you, and you seem interested in them (which you probably wont be able to hide), and you still don't talk to them, you'll just leave them confused and wondering why you didn't - and they'll get over it and you've missed your chance. Besides, girls want a guy that has shared interests. You work out regurlarly... she works out regularly... what a perfect pretense to introduce yourself.

 

As for the one girl stuff... how do you expect to find her? Just because you introduce yourself doesn't mean that you're going to marry her all of a sudden. Just go have some fun, and forget about all that relationship drama for now.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by BrotherAaron

If you are interested in these girls, and you see them at the gym only, then the only way to get them is to approach them at the gym. It doesn't make you "run of the mill" to talk to an attractive woman. It's being too shy to do it that makes you run of the mill. I'm sure good looking girls are sick of being oggled at the gym by guys that just leave. If they're interested in you, and you seem interested in them (which you probably wont be able to hide), and you still don't talk to them, you'll just leave them confused and wondering why you didn't - and they'll get over it and you've missed your chance. Besides, girls want a guy that has shared interests. You work out regurlarly... she works out regularly... what a perfect pretense to introduce yourself.

 

True. Hadn't thought of it that way. I'll talk the trainer tomorrow. I like her the most.

 

As for the one girl stuff... how do you expect to find her? Just because you introduce yourself doesn't mean that you're going to marry her all of a sudden. Just go have some fun, and forget about all that relationship drama for now.

 

Oh I agree, but I'm planning on taking things slow. What I mean was I don't want to have to go through a LOT of dating to find the right person. That's the one thing online dating is for. You can screen a lot of people out through those services.

[BigB]

I've been something of a gym regular in the past.

 

I've never tried to hit on anyone in the gym, but I look at it this way.

 

It's the gym playa guys who use pickup lines, and interrupt girls training that give meeting people in the gym a bad rep.

 

My sister complains about this, she can't get any working out done unless she wears headphones and ignores everyone, she constantly gets hit on.

 

If your nice, strike up a conversation, follow that with one or 2 more conversations next time you see her in the gym, and then ask for a number/date you probably won't have any problems.

 

grab a machine near her, wait for the machine she's using, offer to giver her a spot, head for the drinking fountain at the same time, and then say hello.

 

As for the trainer, maybe ask her some random workout question as an ice breaker.

[amerikajin]

Just talk to her and don't give a f_ck what happens one way or the other.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by BigB

I've been something of a gym regular in the past.

 

I've never tried to hit on anyone in the gym, but I look at it this way.

 

It's the gym playa guys who use pickup lines, and interrupt girls training that give meeting people in the gym a bad rep.

 

My sister complains about this, she can't get any working out done unless she wears headphones and ignores everyone, she constantly gets hit on.

 

If your nice, strike up a conversation, follow that with one or 2 more conversations next time you see her in the gym, and then ask for a number/date you probably won't have any problems.

 

grab a machine near her, wait for the machine she's using, offer to giver her a spot, head for the drinking fountain at the same time, and then say hello.

 

As for the trainer, maybe ask her some random workout question as an ice breaker.

 

Good idea, B. That's why I was thinking with the other girls it would be better to catch them coming or going as far as what your sister said. I am definitely not the kind of guy to bug someone during a workout, but when I see the trainer behind her desk, I'll swing by and talk to her.

[purple21]

yeah - if she is making eye contact and smiling - go talk to her

[Chris777]

Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

The gym is a meat market, I know that -- and I feel awkward approaching someone at the gym because at this point, men are doing it all the time. I like differentiate myself from most guys coz I think I am a good catch for the right person.

Or, should I not try to meet people at the gym? My church has singles events, I was thinking about going to some of those.

What exactly are you for? Company, fun, companionship, or more?

That should give you a clue as to Where to look.

 

Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

, I hate being alone. There's a big hole where "she" used to be. That sucks.

Talk about a hole when youve been single for about 8 years .

 

I honestly can't believe its been that long.

 

ohh but what I've learned.

 

I went through the whole gotta have it stage, then something clicked, and I just didn't care anymore.

 

But then again I have had a lot going on the past several years.

 

But from what I've read your situation is different, you burned your ex, where I was burned by mine.

 

But the bottom line is you will never be able to fill the void, by shoving something else into it, Time is the only thing that can heal it.

 

I tried looking for a while, but all I ran into were more problem women.

 

plus working with 300 women (and seeing how messed up many of them are) is not the most

encouraging thing for a single guy. Which may sound like an oxymoron, but women can be brutal, not to mention psycho.

 

I personally want to find one that shares my values,(for the most part) and having been drug into, and observing the whole "playa" lifestyle. (I have never been a good enought liar, to pull it off), during my stint "tagging along" (or chaufeur, but thats a memory I am trying to block out)

 

To top it off my old "pal" the player worked at a Gym,(where do you think he got most of his contacts) and while many, (and I do mean many) of his girlfriends were fine, they were also off a bit, but so was my pal. I didn't last long at all as it just repulsed me. and the funny thing is I recently heard he finally settle down, (now as to why I am as clueless as the rest, but hopefully he saw how dead ended it was.)

 

after all that I have decided to let what happens happen.

 

but then again I am not nessesarily a "catch" being jobless, possibly disabled, having custody of the child, and bummer of all bummers living with the parents.

 

not to mention the fact that I think most fundamentalist are too liberal.

 

so just Imagine my chances, but I can tell you this , I won't "settle"

I have gone 8 years now (for the most part) and it has been like the blink of an eye,

I don't know if its getting older that makes time seem to pass quicker, or feeling like I'm in my 80's that does it (I'm 29) but time seems like its more behind me than it is in front of me.

 

Don't compromise yourself, no matter what you do, though

[ConfusedInOC]

Ouch. I am speechless.

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by ConfusedInOC

I am just not the kind of guy that goes from port to port, so to speak, but prefers to call ONE port home.

 

You didn't sound like that when you said:

Lately I've noticed a few "regulars" checking me out. By that I mean a trainer and few good looking women. They'll occasionally make eye contact and smile. The trainer, she's the only one I am not sure about because it's her job to be friendly and help people.

 

I think Alpha gave you some good advice. The point is it doesn't matter whether you approach the woman while she's exercising or in front of the toilet or in front of the car, whether you are original or not; if she likes you she will be glad you approached her. In the gym I hardly see a chance for you to get to know any woman better before asking her to have a cup of coffee with you. Moreover if you're not her type or she has a partner, you might bug her. If I were you I would approach, talk 15 min and then ask her to meet some place else.

While you're procrastinating, other guys will grab the "meat"!