Your experience with Dating down ?

[Gaeta]

So, unexpected development.

 

He called tonight to make plans for tomorrow after work.

 

He said 'you know you can text me when you want to'

 

I said l know he's very busy and he works long hours l don't want to bother him. He replied he likes it even if he's busy then he knows l think of him.

 

Too complicated i'm going to bed!

[ascendotum]

He said 'you know you can text me when you want to'

 

I said l know he's very busy and he works long hours l don't want to bother him. He replied he likes it even if he's busy then he knows l think of him.

 

Too complicated i'm going to bed!

 

I thinks that's fine and not an unreasonable request from him. If this is the guy that is not so flash in looks then he could easily be a little insecure when it comes to dating and likes to feel reassured the women are actually attracted to him and not just going with the flow in response to his efforts to keep the woman interested. He want some initiation in communication from you so he feels there is enthusiam from you. You just need to keep in my mind that he will be busy or a bit rundown so there will be lags in him responding back and it should not automatically be interpreted that he is half heated over you

[Toodaloo]

Some people need to realize who their dating equivalent is.

 

Well clearly I am a goddess then. Because the ones who are interested, interesting and that I am currently spending time with would put Brad Pitt to shame.

 

I am a Goddess and never knew... Blimey... What a way to start your Wednesday...

 

There was I just looking for Joe Bloggs looks but a bit more personality. What I have ended up with is BOTH! And several of both!

 

Glad I started looking "up"!!!

[Toodaloo]

So, unexpected development.

 

He called tonight to make plans for tomorrow after work.

 

He said 'you know you can text me when you want to'

 

I said l know he's very busy and he works long hours l don't want to bother him. He replied he likes it even if he's busy then he knows l think of him.

 

Too complicated i'm going to bed!

 

Agh Geata he likes you! He just wants to hear from you and have some contact during the day thats all!

 

Send him a cheeky text

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

Glad I started looking "up"!!!

 

Well, men tend to date down (no offense), because a lot of men know they wouldn't stand a chance with certain women in the "beautiful people" category of Brad Pitt.

[Toodaloo]

Well, men tend to date down (no offense), because a lot of men know they wouldn't stand a chance with certain women in the "beautiful people" category of Brad Pitt.

 

Not these guys... These are your creme de la creme. These guys are the ones that everyone moans are the "top tier" and "stealing all the women".

 

I know I am not A list celeb but I am certainly not ugly... In my list of exes there are several models etc... With a bit of effort I can happily walk into a pub and turn heads.

 

I think people are lazy in general.

 

I don't want to go out with someone with baggage or screwed up emotions so I took time out and dealt with my daemons.

 

I don't want to date someone boring or dull so I go out and do fun things.

 

I don't want to date someone fat and over weight so I take care of my body and work at getting fitter and healthier (also helps when I want to go and do crazy stuff).

 

Life goes in cycles and everyone has ups and downs but I am making sure mine are more ups than downs... Our choices take us to where we go in life and I am now making the right choices.

 

So instead of "dating down". I brought myself up and looked up. Who ever gets me is going to get a prize... I have made sure of that.

 

There is much to admire about me when you spend a bit of time with me and find out... Like an onion I have layers and when people find out about the things I don't brag or boast but there is much more to me than just a pretty face and the ability to be flippant.

 

If those men who "don't have a chance" actually took what is good about themselves and enhanced it then yes they would have a chance. Problem is that they just don't.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Not these guys... These are your creme de la creme. These guys are the ones that everyone moans are the "top tier" and "stealing all the women".

 

I know I am not A list celeb but I am certainly not ugly... In my list of exes there are several models etc... With a bit of effort I can happily walk into a pub and turn heads.

 

I think people are lazy in general.

 

I don't want to go out with someone with baggage or screwed up emotions so I took time out and dealt with my daemons.

 

I don't want to date someone boring or dull so I go out and do fun things.

 

I don't want to date someone fat and over weight so I take care of my body and work at getting fitter and healthier (also helps when I want to go and do crazy stuff).

 

Life goes in cycles and everyone has ups and downs but I am making sure mine are more ups than downs... Our choices take us to where we go in life and I am now making the right choices.

 

So instead of "dating down". I brought myself up and looked up. Who ever gets me is going to get a prize... I have made sure of that.

 

There is much to admire about me when you spend a bit of time with me and find out... Like an onion I have layers and when people find out about the things I don't brag or boast but there is much more to me than just a pretty face and the ability to be flippant.

 

If those men who "don't have a chance" actually took what is good about themselves and enhanced it then yes they would have a chance. Problem is that they just don't.

 

A lot of what you said, doesn't really tie into what we're talking about here. I'm just saying a fat person shouldn't expect to date someone with washboard abs. They are convinced that such men desire them.

 

I'm just saying a person that's fat or isn't much to look at or to write home about, shouldn't expect a "Brad Pitt" to date them, but some tend to do so. Even as a personal experiment, I decided to email highly overweight women on OK Cupid to see if I'd get a response, I'd get views, but no response. They were rather local, too.

 

Again, people need to realize their equivalent in looks and date only them. This is why a lot o friends and family tend to wonder why their final single friend is always...well..still single, because she has unrealistic expectations. Either the guy is too short, too bald or whatever for her...and she's got a gut on her *shrug* go figure.

 

These guys are the ones that everyone moans are the "top tier" and "stealing all the women".

 

Not sure where you are even getting this information. To be honest, I'm not sure we're even on the same page here. I'm reading all of this and thinking "What is she talking about?!"

[Gaeta]

This whole thing is so subjective.

 

I felt with this current man that I am the pretty one compared to the men I've dated before.

 

Last time he came to my home my lady neighbor was outside when he left, she came to me and said: wow who's that handsome man!! that's the best looking man I've seen you date!!

[katiegrl]

This whole thing is so subjective.

 

***I felt with this current man that I am the pretty one compared to the men I've dated before.

 

***Last time he came to my home my lady neighbor was outside when he left, she came to me and said: wow who's that handsome man!! that's the best looking man I've seen you date!!

 

Are you talking about the same man in both paragraphs? Cause they seem to contradict each other.

 

First paragraph -- man not so handsome, YOU were the prettier one.

 

Second man - handsome man!

[Gaeta]

Are you talking about the same man in both paragraphs? Cause they seem to contradict each other.

 

First paragraph -- man not so handsome, YOU were the prettier one.

 

Second man - handsome man!

 

Yes, the man of this thread, the one I felt I did better in terms of looks, that same man my neighbor thinks he's the best looking man I've dated.

[katiegrl]

Yes, the man of this thread, the one I felt I did better in terms of looks, that same man my neighbor thinks he's the best looking man I've dated.

 

Thanks I get it now. That is why you said it was subjective, duh...lol

 

But wow what a drastic difference of opinion! Had your neighbor ever seen Adonis? (rhetorical question).

 

What about the guy tomorrow night? How is he on the looks scale....in your opinion. Just curious.

[Gaeta]

Thanks I get it now. That is why you said it was subjective, duh...lol

 

But wow what a drastic difference of opinion! Had your neighbor ever seen Adonis? (rhetorical question).

 

What about the guy tomorrow night? How is he on the looks scale....in your opinion. Just curious.

 

My lady neighbor sees everything coming out of my home lol.

 

Yes she saw Adonis and Jewelry guy who are both body builders. This current guy is also a gym fanatic but he keeps himself lean and defined instead of buffed. My lady neighbor is a huge gym fanatic. She is 59 with a mind blowing body. She definitely knows best about fitness and current man is above anything she has seen so far.

 

Tomorrow night guy has a nice colgate smile, clean cut, with a bit of weight on the stomach. He's a nice looking man, different category.

[nadine5]

The best looking guy I ever dated never uttered a word of criticism about my looks. The worst looking guy I ever dated constantly criticized my clothes, hair and my thin-ness (he even told me that when he had sex with me he felt like he was f**king a 12 year old boy).

 

I think a-holes come in all shapes and sizes.

[Toodaloo]

Everyone does view beauty differently.

 

If someone doesn't think I am pretty thats fine there are plenty of others who think I am.

 

I know what I think is handsome can sometimes be a bit "off the wall". The model guys I didn't think were all that good looking but then some of the roughty toughty ones now they really got me...

 

One of the chaps I am meeting up with and chatting to is just THE most scrumptious thing in my eyes... He doesn't see it at all. He knows he is attractive and fairly good looking but I don't think he knows quite how utterly scrumptious he is and with the shape of his head he is going to be a stunner when he goes bald...

 

Another is really rugged and masculine again he doesn't see it... Not sure how I would ever kiss him as he is really tall... Perhaps I could stand on a ladder or something...

 

The third actually looks so much better when he is just as he is and not dressed up and posing...

 

I have shown my friends and family pictures and they all drooled.

[Gaeta]

I feel really silly about this thread. There was something about him inspiring me strong enough to keep me accepting his dates. He was different and unfamiliar to me and I interpreted it as 'not as good'. That'll teach me to let my mouth open before my brain is done analyzing.

[nadine5]

I feel really silly about this thread. There was something about him inspiring me strong enough to keep me accepting his dates. He was different and unfamiliar to me and I interpreted it as 'not as good'. That'll teach me to let my mouth open before my brain is done analyzing.

 

This thread is not silly. I understand where you're coming from. I used to date attractive guys that cheated on me and treated me like garbage and I decided that I needed to start dating less attractive guys so they wouldn't cheat on me or treat me like garbage... and I found out the hard way that I was wrong. Like I said ( you have to figure this out on your own though )... a-holes come in all shapes, sizes, and looks scores.

[Gaeta]

He stood me up so the saga with this guy is over. I don't want to hear from him ever again.

[Gaeta]

I want to update this thread as my mea culpa.

 

I reported something that was not entirely true and I need to correct it.

 

He did not stand me up. I was upset so I threw the entire blame on him.

 

He told me he was working late but he'd keep me posted on his progress and he did. He called and text through the evening. He told me he would be done around 21h and 22h but no garantee it could be later. (fireworks start at 22h30)

 

I grew more and more frustrated as time went by. I was afraid he'd end up telling me he can't make it so before he cancels me I cancelled him at 23h00 I sent him a text saying to forget about it I was going to bed.

 

So I got all the input I needed on the original question. I am posting this update because I was wrong to report he had stood me up and I needed to admit it to myself and to you who spend a lot of time and energy reading me.

Edited July 25, 2015 by Gaeta

[katiegrl]

Gaeta for whatever it's worth I think you did the right thing. Not saying he would have cancelled, but 23h00 is 11:00 p.m. where I live and is very late, especially when the original plan was for 21h00 (9:00 p.m.) or earlier had he not been running late.

 

And you missed the fireworks anyway....so...please don't beat yourself up (if you even are) about saying forget it you are going to bed, I think most people would have done the same...

 

((hugs))

[Gaeta]

Gaeta for whatever it's worth I think you did the right thing. Not saying he would have cancelled, but 23h00 is 11:00 p.m. where I live and is very late, especially when the original plan was for 21h00 (9:00 p.m.) or earlier had he not been running late.

 

And you missed the fireworks anyway....so...please don't beat yourself up (if you even are) about saying forget it you are going to bed, I think most people would have done the same...

 

((hugs))

 

Thank you.

 

I think I was right to cancel at 11h. I was wrong though to report he stood me up.

[katiegrl]

Thank you.

 

I think I was right to cancel at 11h. I was wrong though to report he stood me up.

 

I know but it's okay. The way I see it, for all intents and purposes, he *did* stand you up.

Leaving you hanging like that was just incredibly rude.

 

But appreciate the clarification.

Edited July 25, 2015 by katiegrl

[clia]

I want to update this thread as my mea culpa.

 

I reported something that was not entirely true and I need to correct it.

 

He did not stand me up. I was upset so I threw the entire blame on him.

 

He told me he was working late but he'd keep me posted on his progress and he did. He called and text through the evening. He told me he would be done around 21h and 22h but no garantee it could be later. (fireworks start at 22h30)

 

I grew more and more frustrated as time went by. I was afraid he'd end up telling me he can't make it so before he cancels me I cancelled him at 23h00 I sent him a text saying to forget about it I was going to bed.

 

So I got all the input I needed on the original question. I am posting this update because I was wrong to report he had stood me up and I needed to admit it to myself and to you who spend a lot of time and energy reading me.

 

Don't even accept dates like this in the future. If a guy you are newly dating can't commit to a time, then just suggest that you go out on another day. As you found out, the uncertainty is just too frustrating. You have better things to do.

[TB Rhine]

Every time I have dated down, look wise, THEY ended up dumping me. I don't understand this phenomena.

 

You are being karmically punished for your arrogance.

 

In all seriousness, though, these guys may tumble to the fact that you think you're doing them a favor by "giving them a shot" and get turned off by it. It's also the case that you may be misjudging your own attractiveness in relation to theirs.

Edited July 27, 2015 by TB Rhine