OldSoul86 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Keep up the good work Darren and remember that even incremental progress is still progress! Enjoy the rest of your day. Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 No contact is not a sprint my friend, more of a marathon with no end. Because as you go longer you soon don't see a finish. Good luck.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 I have just had a massive panic attack and contacted my ex by message, she got straight back and told me to take deep breaths and that she is there for me I suffer quite badly with me head and she knows it, I dont think I will ever get through this I am pathetic I hate myself sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 This seems insurmountable but it isn't. Just be present for your life and know that relationships are fluid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Panic attacks suck. They are really scary & debilitating. They do make you feel weak. However, they can be controlled & you can over come them. Get some professional help if you haven't already & when the immediate pain of your break up subsides you will start to feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 I see my councilor in a few weeks so whatever he advises I am going to do I know my situation is my own fault, I messed up catastrophically Will keep everyone informed of what goes on if anything Peace & Love Darren... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 I ended up in the woods with my feet in water, I was so hot, glad she was there or god knows what I would have done, I was with her in my van last week and she had one, I held her hand and was there for her, such a shame this *****ty situation, we both love each other but everything is soo fcked up Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 "Never give up on something that you can not go a day without thinking about" Winston Churchill This will apply to some and maybe not others.... Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 "Never give up on something that you can not go a day without thinking about" Winston Churchill This will apply to some and maybe not others.... "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." -Mark Twain Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 If you dont know my circumstances I will give a VERY QUICK overview, she dumped me after 2 years, I never showed her love and attention, kept pushing her away, she dumped me for another guy, we have a 13 month old daughter together, I have been pathetic of late, cant seem to stop messaging her, she always replies, just small talk half the time, I was advised last week to not contact her and to see if she contacts you, she did after 2 days, 2 calls and 2 messages, anyway moving on, today I asked her she wants to drop her some fruit off ( she has not been feeling the best ) she said yea a BANANA, typical for her like, I dropped it off and was walking out and she wanted a quick chat about nothing in particular, but she is always to flirty and crude, shoving it between her legs, sticking it in her mouth etc etc etc, I said when you eat it send me a picture, I knew she wouldn't in case the bloke she is with ( that she still denies ) finds out, I messaged her something later and finished the message with coward lol, she did send me the picture of her eating the banana she rung me when she collected our daughter from nursery mentioned her a bit and just started being filth again telling me to imagine the banana was ( you know ) I cant work her out, why does she flirt and be so crude with me but wont get back with me, why does she act as though she is single and speak if she is single when she is clearly with some dude, the last time we hung out we was talking and she got on about doing something to me and I said you are so full of sh*t you wouldnt, she said Ohhhh I would, I just want my little family back but this guy is there every night, really p!sses me off the only chance I get is on her days off ( 2 ) I dont know what to do as I know she has the best of both worlds really :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 After been dumped for another guy by my ex, i have just found out they are getting engaged, bad to worse, my poor head, how the hell in the space of a few months can she go from being so in to me ( she still loves me ) to dumping me for someone else, going on holiday abroad with him, to getting engaged and possibly getting a new place with him, and we have a little 13 month old daughter to make things worse, my head is spinning.... Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Sounds like a rebound, can't imagine it'll last... Unless she's known him for longer... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I think she was seeing him behind my back before she dumped me, not sure for how long, maybe a few months at most, but for things to go so fast, I cant understand it, defies logic.. Link to post Share on other sites
DexterLS Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 After been dumped for another guy by my ex, i have just found out they are getting engaged, bad to worse, my poor head, how the hell in the space of a few months can she go from being so in to me ( she still loves me ) to dumping me for someone else, going on holiday abroad with him, to getting engaged and possibly getting a new place with him, and we have a little 13 month old daughter to make things worse, my head is spinning.... I know how you feel buddy. It's certainly not easy to be in your position right now and I don't want to judge your ex's new relationship. I want to know what you are doing to get out of this situation you are in. Have you initiated NC or LC in your case? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Well, we were still kinda hanging out on occasions, she will be bringing my daughter in a few hours ( not seen my daughter in a fortnight ) she has to go to another city to sort her passport out for her new holiday with her new man, I am not bitter more confused, how the hell can someone move so fast, the dude has moved in, they are engaged ( she doesn't know I know yet ) they are going on holiday together, she still flirts like hell with me, bordering filth to be honest Confusion is what is getting me, like WTF Link to post Share on other sites
DexterLS Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Well, we were still kinda hanging out on occasions, she will be bringing my daughter in a few hours ( not seen my daughter in a fortnight ) she has to go to another city to sort her passport out for her new holiday with her new man, I am not bitter more confused, how the hell can someone move so fast, the dude has moved in, they are engaged ( she doesn't know I know yet ) they are going on holiday together, she still flirts like hell with me, bordering filth to be honest Confusion is what is getting me, like WTF Some people just do, and move on more quickly than others. She probably checked out of the relationship a long time ago and hence is a bit more emotionally stable than you. My GF of 6 years cheated and dumped me for someone else. She too is going on a trip with her new guy in three weeks time for her birthday. Make the flirting stop and tell her you are not interested to do "whatever this is" with her. Go limited contact and ensure whatever contact you have in the near future is only about your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 DexterLS We seem to be going through pretty much the same thing buddy, do you want to exchange E-Mails or something, maybe we could help each other through this pain... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 Feeling really down today, so many emotions hitting me hard, loneliness, sadness, regret, worthlessness, insecurity, the feeling of betrayal and being replaced, anxiety, and really missing her, She dumped me for another guy, we have a 13 month old daughter, I feel like a steam train has hit me, now I find out she is getting engaged to this guy, and has moved him in, not sure how much more my poor head can take - I just want to run away from it all, I am so pathetic and needy with her and she knows it, I have decided to not contact her anymore until Wednesday when I ring her about having my daughter, yesterday I was pathetic on the phone with her, really down and sad she said she thinks its best we don't spend time together as I need to move on, but I did go shopping with her and we got a latte from mcdonalds and parked up and had a bit of a chat, it felt so right, I really miss her, I hurt so much, especially in the morning, she was flirting a bit as usual and she said " I know you love me " and I said I love you to pieces and she said I love you to, I just want my pain to go away, every day is torture, sorry to go on I just needed to vent. Take care everyone, love DARREN Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Maintain your dignity by not showing desperation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Only thing that matters are you and your daughter. Put time in to you and your daughter, go NC with her best you can and only contact her regarding your daughter. It's that simple. She has moved on and it may work or nor, but don't be a back up and most of all don't let her walk over you when she knows she can when you are in this state. I say this because I have been there and had it done to me. Goes this order YOU DAUGHTER....................................EX if needed for something. Best of luck. Stay strong. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Maintain your dignity by not showing desperation. I second this comment. For a majority of girls (I assume for most people in general), desperation is big turn off. You have to reclaim your power. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bradt Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 The relationship with the new guy will not work.There will be no trust from what you have told here. Link to post Share on other sites
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Only thing that matters are you and your daughter. Put time in to you and your daughter, go NC with her best you can and only contact her regarding your daughter. It's that simple. She has moved on and it may work or nor, but don't be a back up and most of all don't let her walk over you when she knows she can when you are in this state. I say this because I have been there and had it done to me. Goes this order YOU DAUGHTER....................................EX if needed for something. Best of luck. Stay strong. Was in a similar situation 5 years ago and this is good advice. If possible try dropping your daughter off with a friend or family member when you're exchanging custody that way you don't have to see her. I ended with a girl I loved 6 months ago (see my thread) because she was jealous of my daughter. As hard as it is and hard as it's going to be keep your focus on your daughter and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 Thanks everyone, I don't really have anyone to chat to about this so I come on here, I find it helps a little, I also listen to choir music, I think I am really sad today because I know I will not be contacting her until Wednesday, my only real friend told me I need to get my control back from her, and to do it I need to use reverse psychology, she does seem checking out more and more, I forgot to mention she is going to Thailand with him in September, and leaving our daughter here in England, I find that really irresponsible, I am going to get my control/power back using reverse psychology, she is so used to me contacting her and now I will not until Wednesday morning, I honestly believe that this woman loves me, in fact I don't doubt it, it confuses me how you can be with someone else if you still love your EX, its all very confusing but I am sticking to no contact until Wednesday, I will update if there are any changes thanks for listening to me everyone it makes me feel better love Darren 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Carla B Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Feeling really down today, so many emotions hitting me hard, loneliness, sadness, regret, worthlessness, insecurity, the feeling of betrayal and being replaced, anxiety, and really missing her, She dumped me for another guy, we have a 13 month old daughter, I feel like a steam train has hit me, now I find out she is getting engaged to this guy, and has moved him in, not sure how much more my poor head can take - I just want to run away from it all, I am so pathetic and needy with her and she knows it, I have decided to not contact her anymore until Wednesday when I ring her about having my daughter, yesterday I was pathetic on the phone with her, really down and sad she said she thinks its best we don't spend time together as I need to move on, but I did go shopping with her and we got a latte from mcdonalds and parked up and had a bit of a chat, it felt so right, I really miss her, I hurt so much, especially in the morning, she was flirting a bit as usual and she said " I know you love me " and I said I love you to pieces and she said I love you to, I just want my pain to go away, every day is torture, sorry to go on I just needed to vent. Take care everyone, love DARREN Damn thats rough. Just like the other person said dont show desperation ever to women they eat it up and its a turn off. She take care of your daughter thats all that matters. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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