Author hotmrw Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 Further to my sad situation there has been a further updates, to recap, I was dumped for another guy, we had a 2 year relationship, we have a 13 month old daughter, she has moved the guy in, banned me from her house, wont admit she is with anyone, never initiates contact with me any more, tonight I have found out she has been proposed to at a waterfall, and accepted, furthermore the guy seems to be 5 feet 5 tall and not in my league, this from a woman who treated my like a prince, proclaimed to love me and I was more important than oxygen only 2 weeks before we split, I can honestly say this is the most messed up situation I think I have ever known in my life................ Link to post Share on other sites
grokcahsevol Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I'm sorry to hear this! I could never imagine if my ex did that.. I'd be completely lost. How long has your ex and this guy been seeing each other for? Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 who is feeding you all this info or from what social media website are you getting this info? Whatever it may be, you need to cut them/it off, and work on moving on. Sorry you're going through this but it doesn't sound like you are making any progress and are fixated on your ex's every move (while she continues to live her life). Best wishes to you! Hang in there. Hopefully it get's better as time goes on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 I think they will have been together for about 3-4 months max And no social media, she was heard talking in a shop, in tow, by people who I know........... Link to post Share on other sites
grokcahsevol Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Being proposed to after 3-4 months doesn't sound like something that's going to end nicely. They barley know each other... I've read a few places that people should be together for at least 2-3 years before going the next step, this way you get to know the person very well. Just try to focus on your self and your daughter, maker her your pride and joy Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I think they will have been together for about 3-4 months max And no social media, she was heard talking in a shop, in tow, by people who I know........... Listen, you know this a billboard example of a rebound relationship. You should laugh out loud if she got engaged. How ridiculous is that? More importantly, you need really minimize any contact of her you can. Maybe have someone pick her up and drop her off so you don't have to see her or speak to her. Time away from her and the relationship will calm you down and let you heal. Staying connected to anything about her is only screwing w/your head. Focus not on what she's doing but what you're doing to be a great dad, heal from this and move on to someone great. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 You should feel sorry for her. When something moves that fast, the end generally comes pretty quickly too. You should probably be glad that you've "lost" this woman, and you should be horrified that your daughter has this woman as a role model. She's going to grow up with this drama all around her, and she just might think it's normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 I am sure you all know my situation, dumped for another guy, we have a 13 month old child, she moved this guy in, is going to Thailand with him, they are engaged to be married, I have been cut off and out, still doesn't admit she is with anyone, anyway I usually have my daughter Wednesday and Thursday, I never contacted her for 5 days and when I rung her this morning she said she has put my daughter in nursery and is tomorrow also, she was really p*ssed off that I never messaged her asking how our daughter is in 5 days, and that she was not happy about it, she asked me to have her over the weekend, the real reason being so she can go gallivanting about with her new fella, I said I cant but can have her during the week, she declined, she really ended up getting so angry at me screaming down the phone shouting she will put her in nursery when she wants and not when I want, then told me to f**k off and slammed the phone down ( NOT GOOD I KNOW ) I managed to ring her back and she had calmed down and we talked about nothing in general so at least she has calmed down, did I do really wrong by not asking how my daughter was in 5 days? I just thought I would give her some space....? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 NC is not a luxury you get when there are children involved. You need a lawyer not a message board. Link to post Share on other sites
FancyFace Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I am sure you are hurting from the broken relationship but at this point right now, you need to focus on getting in place a proper custody/visitation arrangement or else you will be at your ex's mercy where she will use your child as a barganing chip. NC isnt advised for people with children but rather LC (low contact) where all communication is via one avenue (e.g. only via one cell and maybe only via sms) and the communication should only be about your child. However, first and foremost get visitation/custody and child support arrangements in place. As much as it hurts, you need to get it together, not for you but for your daughter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 She dumped me for another guy, moved him in, engaged him, he asked her dad if he could marry her, they are going to Thailand together, we have a 13 month old daughter together, and because I never messaged her for 5 days I am all of a sudden a dad who doesn't care about his daughter, she is my heartbeat, and always will be, I wont see her now for three weeks because she said she has put her name down for nursery, how hard is it ti take her name off the list for nursery I thought, well i did tell her and all I got was verbal abuse and shouting and screaming, I told her I am going to another city as I am not seeing my daughter and she then started being even worse, I mean cruel, telling me to f** off, she did say in response to a nice text I sent that " well you are the one f**king off to hull not me" as I cant see my daughter I said please giver her a kiss from me and tell her I love her, she replied, no I will dot do stuff for you, I am being nice and she is being harsh, cruel, brutal almost, I don't get her, she should be happy with her new fella that she dumped me for, she always seems peed off, I sensed she was really not happy about me not messaging her for five days, and she used our daughter to vent on me, I may be wrong who knows, but she kicks off because I never asked how our daughter is yet stops me seeing her, there is something not right about all this, then she said leave me alone my head is battered, again I have no idea why her head is battered I did nothing, well other than tell her I was going to hull, she is trying to get me to have my daughter all weekend but I cant at the moment because I am between homes, she just wants to get rid of her so she can go doing whatever with her new guy, like buggering off to Thailand for 11 days and leaving her here, she was OK last week, but since I never contacted her for 5 days she is clearly not a happy bunny for one reason or another, any ideas anyone? PS: I wont go through the courts again to see my daughter, waste of time, been there and done that with my last daughter ( different mam ) and to painful, so much resentment introduced, not for me Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Dude, she knows she did you wrong. She cheated on you and betrayed you. So, she has to demonize you in her mind to deal with the guilt. Can't feel guilty if you're mad! She had to turn you into the bad guy in order to forgive herself. Now, I'm going to bash on you for a second. Just because she's being a douche rocket to you doesn't mean you should remove yourself from your daughters life! YOU ARE HER DAD!! And she, just like you, doesn't deserve what's happening right now. She is completely innocent in all of this! Don't punish her for what's going on. Your Ex is gone. Therefore, you need to focus on you and being the best father you can be to that little girl. No excuses! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Your daughter is the most important thing in this equation. I understand your ex is difficult to deal with, but you must overcome all of that and be the best father you can be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 It is so difficult, I feel I cant do anymore, I give her space ( 5 days not contacting her ) yet she is just a biatch with me, I mean what person would mother would say she wont kiss our daughter and tell her I love her from me, how pathetic, I dont get it, I am starting to hate this little biacth, punishing me by taking my daughter away for another week just because I never sent her a message asking how my daughter is, this woman ( child - she is only 22 ) is going to be problems I think, god I wish I never, I really do, she is actually worse than my crazy Russian EX, who was potty in the head, I have a daughter with her aswel but she lives in Sweden and she wont let me see or speak to her, I chased her all round the globe with court orders to get access but to no avail, I have court orders in Scotland, England, Florida, I gave up after hitting brick wall after brick wall, I can certainly pick em..... Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Dude, I hear you. It sucks. But, that's not an excuse to stop fighting. Because, I'm going to tell you what's going to happen. Your daughter(s) are going to wonder what happened to you as they get older. Asking questions of why you gave up on them. You can turn around and prove that you did everything in your power to be in their lives but you were hit with roadblocks from your Ex's Now, who do you think these girls would hold a grudge against? Who do you think will have to answer for not allowing you in their lives? Dude, you're not doing the damage here. I mean, if you send a birthday card, or Christmas presents or just a simple letter stating that you love them and are thinking of them; photo copy it. Keep receipts. Keep files. And one day if they come at you with guns blazing and asking why you were a deadbeat dad. You can show them that you did try and stay in their lives, you can show them the cards and letters they never received. Receipts from presents that they never got. Folder on the computer that contains all the emails you've sent them throughout the years. They're going to realize that you're not the one at fault. And they'll go after the one that is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 Hi everyone, quick recap, I was dumped by my ex for another guy, we were together for 2 years, we have a 13 month old daughter, she moved him in, banned me from her house, removed me from facebook, all but cut me out of her life, speaks to me like ***** even though she destroyed me as a human being, treats me like *****, and now the straw that I feel has broke the camels back she has took my daughter away from me because I never messaged her for 5 days, so I would probably see my daughter twice a month, now I know some of you will probably say I am doing the wrong thing but this is what I have decided after many many hours of talking to friends and thinking. I have decided to walk away from her, and sadly my little girl, it will break my heart, she is my heartbeat but I simply can not go on like this any longer, I have never been so hurt and treated so badly in all my life, and still I was there for her as a friend, I leave on Friday, I am moving 200 miles away it is all set, I will be blocking her on Facebook ( she already removed me ) and changing my number, I will tell her that if there is an emergency that she can contact my mother and my mother can contact me, I see no way of me ever getting out of this unless I leave, I am so sorry for my little girl, I love her with all my heart but I have to leave, I am crying as I write this as I see her little face, I just cant take the pain and constant abuse anymore, my heart and head are dying, I have a Ltd company that I am going to throw myself into when I get where I am going, I am determined to make a success of myself and give my little girl the life I will give to her when I return be it in 1 year or 5, I have lost all hope in human beings, she has damaged my soul forever, but I will forgive her, I have to. Wish me luck everyone, and thanks for everyone who helped me with your comments, god bless you all, I hope you all get what your heart desires Love and best wishes, Darren Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Hi everyone, quick recap, I was dumped by my ex for another guy, we were together for 2 years, we have a 13 month old daughter, she moved him in, banned me from her house, removed me from facebook, all but cut me out of her life, speaks to me like ***** even though she destroyed me as a human being, treats me like *****, and now the straw that I feel has broke the camels back she has took my daughter away from me because I never messaged her for 5 days, so I would probably see my daughter twice a month, now I know some of you will probably say I am doing the wrong thing but this is what I have decided after many many hours of talking to friends and thinking. I have decided to walk away from her, and sadly my little girl, it will break my heart, she is my heartbeat but I simply can not go on like this any longer, I have never been so hurt and treated so badly in all my life, and still I was there for her as a friend, I leave on Friday, I am moving 200 miles away it is all set, I will be blocking her on Facebook ( she already removed me ) and changing my number, I will tell her that if there is an emergency that she can contact my mother and my mother can contact me, I see no way of me ever getting out of this unless I leave, I am so sorry for my little girl, I love her with all my heart but I have to leave, I am crying as I write this as I see her little face, I just cant take the pain and constant abuse anymore, my heart and head are dying, I have a Ltd company that I am going to throw myself into when I get where I am going, I am determined to make a success of myself and give my little girl the life I will give to her when I return be it in 1 year or 5, I have lost all hope in human beings, she has damaged my soul forever, but I will forgive her, I have to. Wish me luck everyone, and thanks for everyone who helped me with your comments, god bless you all, I hope you all get what your heart desires Love and best wishes, Darren Are you kidding me? You are punishing your little girl for your ex's bad behaviour. Not a smart move at all. The pain you are feeling now will be nothing compared to the pain you're about to inflict on your daughter. Do you honestly believe you can just come back into her life when it suits you? This isn't all about you, OP. This is about your responsibility as a parent. Forget talking to friends and family for the moment. Talk to a lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 Been there done that with the Lawyers, got court orders in England, Scotland, America, still not seen my other daughter for 11 years, NEVER AGAIN WOULD I GO THROUGH COURT I have to do this, sorry you don't agree, I cant take any more, I will be back for my little girl, but when daddy is better in his head this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life, I simply have to do it, my mind is made up Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Well, may I suggest a vasectomy? One time might be a mistake. Second time, a pattern. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 To many crapy women in the world I would say..... Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Been there done that with the Lawyers, got court orders in England, Scotland, America, still not seen my other daughter for 11 years, NEVER AGAIN WOULD I GO THROUGH COURT I have to do this, sorry you don't agree, I cant take any more, I will be back for my little girl, but when daddy is better in his head this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life, I simply have to do it, my mind is made up So both of these women have excluded you from having a relationship with your daughters ? Is there a reason for this? Is it spite? Are they not seeking child support? Link to post Share on other sites
Learningtowalkagain Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 Your situation is similar to what I went through 6 years ago. GF of 2 years left me for another guy (it was a steady downhill ride with her) and we had a 18 month daughter. That she left me was the best thing that happened now that I look back. One of us had to do it, she just chose a ****ty and shady way to end it. Only difference is I immediately took her to court to establish a custody agreement. Your daughter should come first before everything. It's not her fault her moms shady and not her fault it didn't work out. She needs her dad. Suck up your grief for your daughters sake. Don't talk bad about her Mom in front of her. This is called being a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 The first of my daughters mother was clinically insecure, I ended it because of her crazy ways, like having pictures of my other two children on the wall ( I kid you not ) she actually said " If you don't want me you will never see your daughter" and those words have been very true, not seen her in about 11 years and that is with 3 court orders in 3 different countries ( she was Russian ) The last I heard she was living in Sweden This recent one, who is a person I don't know anymore just seems to gain satisfaction from hurting me and taking away from me all that I have left, my little girl, even though she dumped me for another guy............. And for the record I do see my other two Children, there mother is quite normal and we still speak regularly, even today for instance Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 So, if I'm reading this right, you have 4 kids with three different women? I am in no way trying to be mean, so forgive me... WTF?! There are now 2 kids that will not "know" their father. I don't give a crap how much torture it causes you, you do not give up on your children. Ever. *You* took the steps to create them, you take the steps now of being their father. At whatever cost. Rethink what you are about to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotmrw Posted July 8, 2015 Author Share Posted July 8, 2015 I am not leaving my daughter, I am going away to get myself together, to heal, and to come back the best dad I can ever be, I would never desert my little Ella, never in a million years, I am just sinking under this constant train wreck, I am on medication and under a Councillor, nothing is working, I will sink to far down and be unfit if I hang around, I have had 2 breakdowns previously and I know the signs, I am getting close, if I dont go I will be out of the game for 6 months totally fcked up, I cant take that risk with my head Yes I have children with three different women Link to post Share on other sites
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