kaiserjuan Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Story is: I've been going out with this girl for about ten years, she never really drank in my company except in rare occasions and very very moderately. Only once did she get totally drunk after drinking 2 1/2 glasses of white wine, at first she was all acting sexy and dirty, then she just started throwing up for about 1 h. I took her home when she started feeling a lil better. We don t live in the same place and she rarely goes out clubbing if I'm not with here, but in the last few months something changed (you ust consider she is about to get her degree and is a little stressed out): - 10th of June: she finishes her Med exams and goes out for drinks with her pals, gets home at about 12.30 am, calls me and sounds quite drunk...we're on the phone talking, she ends the phone call with no notice and doesn't answer about 7 or 8 calls. Morning after she tells me she was a little drunk and tired and just fell asleep during the phone call - last night: she tells me she's going out with some friends to see a soccer match (she hates soccer) and that after that they would go to a club close to the footbal field. I send her a few msgs on whatsapp and she answers in a quite annoyed tone, after 1.30 am she stops answering me...I fall asleep and wake up at 5.30 am and decide to call her, a female voice answers saying she's a friend of my GF's, that she is fine and is taking a rest. After she says "she's fine" I realise there is something wrond but do not insist on asking and just say "ok, thankyou, good night". I then end up falling asleep again and wake up at 7.45 am (wasn't a work day): being quite nervous I decided I'd go somwhere for breakfast; she wakes up at 8.30 and I ask her "So? must you tell me something?" She starts saying oh yes I felt so sick last night, I only had one drink with vodka and started throwing up, I just couldn't stop and I'm still feeling quite ****ty. SHe then sends me a pic of a note her friends (1 female, 3 males) had left her which said "Allie you drank too much. We gave you an IV with PLASIL (stops you from puking basically) and some saline. You probably won't remember much. It looks you're a little better now so we'll just let you sleep off the alcohol and go home. Do let us know how you're feeling tomorrow when you wake up". SO, do you think she's cheating on me? Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Sounds like she is unhappy and abusing alcohol. She wouldn't need an IV with one vodka drink. Sounds like she lied and that means she has a drink problem. Do you have any reason to believe she would cheat? Is she a serial cheater? How old are you two? G 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaiserjuan Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 We're both 28 yo...I don't have proof and don't know of anyone she likes...It's just this going out and drinking thing that she's never done...it was only two occasions though Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 (edited) We're both 28 yo...I don't have proof and don't know of anyone she likes...It's just this going out and drinking thing that she's never done...it was only two occasions though The two occasions don't make me think she is cheating but it does make me think she is using alcohol to self medicate for being unhappy or restless. Have you talked to her about her behavior lately? You two have been dating for ten years which means she was very young when she started. Could she be sowing some wild oats, hanging out with friends, partying, etc. in order to make up for lost youth? G Edited July 18, 2015 by Grumpybutfun 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaiserjuan Posted July 18, 2015 Author Share Posted July 18, 2015 The thing is we live 750 miles away from each other so when she does go out it's with her friends. I don't know...maybe she's getting tired of being with me Link to post Share on other sites
VengeanceGuidesMe Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 I've been around the block. I had an alcoholic mother. I've dated lots of girls and lots of girls with drinking problems. She likely has no limits, drinks way to much and lies about it to you and herself how much of a problem she has. She downplays and minimizes the consequences. I think you're better to jump ships, find a woman that isn't going to take you down with her sinking ship of problems. Addicts don't fall alone, they rip down anything and everything that offered them support. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Maybe i am seeing this differently....... From what you said you are in a LDR? (10 years is a long time in LDR) She went out with her mates and you kept calling her? Texting etc... Maybe she just wanted to have a good time without you calling? Maybe she had a few too many but like you said she is not a big drinker.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Maybe i am seeing this differently....... From what you said you are in a LDR? (10 years is a long time in LDR) She went out with her mates and you kept calling her? Texting etc... Maybe she just wanted to have a good time without you calling? Maybe she had a few too many but like you said she is not a big drinker.... I agree with this. I wonder how long the LDR component has been going on in their relationship. They have been together from 18-28 that's a fair while for a young couple's relationship these days, plus she has just finished med school so she could easily get a new lease of life now and want to start a new phase in her life and meet others. It may not happen but seen this sort of thing happen before. From what OP wrote though, there is nothing to assume she is cheating. As for the drinking, its really hard to say. If she needed to put on a saline bag, there is no way I would say she had one vodka. Some people can have low tolerance for alcohol but it tends to make them not enjoy getting drunk. I reckon she got smashed that night but hard to say how often it happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 So she's an alcoholic - whether she's cheated or not you should definitely let her go. Addictions of any form are bound to lead to disaster. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 18, 2015 Share Posted July 18, 2015 Spent all that time studying and in a LDR with you. She decided to celebrate the end of her exams, got far too drunk. If she is not a drinker normally she will have a low tolerance for alcohol, hence the puking a lot. Medic friends sorted her out. This may be a one off, but you have to accept that it may not be. Women in relationships from 18, sometimes feel that they missed out and now her exams are over too, and you are not there either, wild oats in the form of clubbing, drinking and general mayhem may ensue. Be prepared. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 - 10th of June: she finishes her Med exams and goes out for drinks with her pals, gets home at about 12.30 am, calls me and sounds quite drunk...we're on the phone talking, she ends the phone call with no notice and doesn't answer about 7 or 8 calls. Morning after she tells me she was a little drunk and tired and just fell asleep during the phone call - last night: she tells me she's going out with some friends to see a soccer match (she hates soccer) and that after that they would go to a club close to the footbal field. I send her a few msgs on whatsapp and she answers in a quite annoyed tone, after 1.30 am she stops answering me...I fall asleep and wake up at 5.30 am and decide to call her, SO, do you think she's cheating on me? No, I don't think she is cheating on you but all of those bolded parts would make me turn to drink! She isn't obligated to be at your beck and call every moment of the day. I would find all of this completely smothering. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I'm not sure why people are diagnosing her as an alcoholic based on this post, that seems very extreme! It sounds like she has never partied and is now getting a taste...when I first started to party / drink, I certainly couldn't hold my alcohol either, nor was I aware of my limits! She sounds like a teenager getting her first taste of that scene, not like someone who is cheating or a friggin alcoholic!! Do you guys have plans to move closer / get married? She's getting a taste of the single life now, she might like it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 If she is being honest then she is severely allergic to alcohol. She should get checked out for that. How come you're still LDR after 10 years? After that time it is certainly time to poop or get off the pot. Where do you see this relationship going? If you're still not together/married after 10 years then I doubt it's going to have a happy ending. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts