jerry59 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 what do i do if i love to give oral sex, but my wife won't let me do it to her? she says she is too sensitive and doesn't enjoy it. i love giving oral and i am very frustrated. she had no problem with getting oral while we were dating, but now that we are married, she says she hates it. giving oral is one of my favorite kinds of sex. i am very frustrated. any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
st8toftheheart Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by jerry59 what do i do if i love to give oral sex, but my wife won't let me do it to her? she says she is too sensitive and doesn't enjoy it. i love giving oral and i am very frustrated. she had no problem with getting oral while we were dating, but now that we are married, she says she hates it. giving oral is one of my favorite kinds of sex. i am very frustrated. any suggestions? Did she tell you she didn't like it BEFORE you got married? Is it that important to you? Worth ending a marriage? I'm not implying that you are considering it, but why I ask that is because it is setting your boundaries now. How important is this to you and how far will you be willing to take it. You've obviously discussed this with her, and she told you why she doesn't like it. With the exception of reading up some different techniques or the use of aids, she may still not enjoy it. Then what are you prepared to do? How mauch value to your relationship does this bring? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerry59 Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 thanks for replying. no, she never said anything about it during dating. we were doing 69 often. it's one of my favorite kinds of sex. i think about this constantly. i don't want to have an affair. i do think it is having a very negative effect on the marriage. i feel like i've been cheated out of something i enjoy. she says it doesn't feel good because she is too sensitive. i probably ask her at least five times a week. i hate hearing "no" all the time. i understand that a small percentage of women do not like receiving oral sex. just my luck. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 That's really odd. Maybe she had some trauma in the childhood, like someone molested her and oral sex has remained as something bad in her memory. Try to dig out the emotional part. She can't be physically sensitive to it. The penis is harder and rougher than the tongue so what she says makes no sense in the physical aspect. It must be something in her mind related to it. Try to help her. The best way of surpassing trauma is to get it off your chest and let the rage and pain out. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer She can't be physically sensitive to it. The penis is harder and rougher than the tongue so what she says makes no sense in the physical aspect. Unless she means sensitive as in ticklish. Can't quite understand why she would have been happy enough with oral sex before marriage, but not after. The only reasonable assumption is that she's never been quite comfortable with it, and now feels that she'd better make that clear as the two of you are officially life partners. I don't know if you're ever going to be able to bring about a change of heart in this particular area, but I can say that turning oral sex into an issue to the extent that you're asking about it 5 times a week will not help matters. It will only turn bed-time into dread-time. The oral sex problem might be resulting from her feeling uncomfortable about her body (not necessarily a sign that she's been abused, I should add). The sexier she feels about herself, the more likely she is to lose her inhibitions - so it's probably best right now to focus on relaxing her and making her feel like a sex goddess and supreme seductress. Think of the reasons men like to get oral sex. Not only does it feel good, but it makes them feel powerful. Encouraging your wife to feel more powerful in the bedroom might just be a step towards her letting you dive at her nether regions to your heart's content. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jerry59 Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 thank you, lindya. very insightful comments. Link to post Share on other sites
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