CalvinM Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Her name is on the lease, but I've paid her up until the end of July. She went through my messages and found out I'm going on a date on Monday. I'm not sure if she's angry I didn't want to reconcile after I move out, or that I've moved on first, but she said two weeks ago it was over and to "let her go". We've only been together 5 months, and almost half that time I've been unhappy, so it shouldn't be a surprise. Can she legally kick me out? Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I'd just move out. July is almost over. It's not even worth the fight. And next time don't move in with a girlfriend, because when you break up, this happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Unless your tenancy is documented under a sublease - which most leases don't allow without Landlord's consent - then yes, she can kick you out. The procedures vary by state. You can also sue in Small Claims for unreturned rent... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 just pack up and move out. maybe you can crash at a friends house while you look. And next time, don't move in with another woman until you have dated a LONG LONG time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RainDown Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Her name is on the lease, but I've paid her up until the end of July. She went through my messages and found out I'm going on a date on Monday. I'm not sure if she's angry I didn't want to reconcile after I move out, or that I've moved on first, but she said two weeks ago it was over and to "let her go". We've only been together 5 months, and almost half that time I've been unhappy, so it shouldn't be a surprise. Can she legally kick me out? That depends on the state you're in and how long you've been a tenant. In most states, you're considered a tenant once you've lived in the residence longer than 30 days, even if your name is not on the lease. At that point, generally speaking, if she wants you out she needs to follow formal eviction procedures in order to boot you out the door. Look up landlord-tenant law for your state and read it. That will tell you exactly what she can and cannot do as far as evicting you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Her name is on the lease, but I've paid her up until the end of July. She went through my messages and found out I'm going on a date on Monday. I'm not sure if she's angry I didn't want to reconcile after I move out, or that I've moved on first, but she said two weeks ago it was over and to "let her go". We've only been together 5 months, and almost half that time I've been unhappy, so it shouldn't be a surprise. Can she legally kick me out? There is no hope of reconciliation here, you weren't even happy, so why are you still hanging around? Why are you rubbing her face in it too? She didn't want you, you didn't want her, so no need to play childish games - "I've got a date first, nah nah na nah na!!" - were you really thinking you would bring this new girl back to your ex's place too??? Just do the decent thing and go. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 There is no hope of reconciliation here, you weren't even happy, so why are you still hanging around? Why are you rubbing her face in it too? She didn't want you, you didn't want her, so no need to play childish games - "I've got a date first, nah nah na nah na!!" - were you really thinking you would bring this new girl back to your ex's place too??? Just do the decent thing and go. LOL SHE snooped through HIS messages, how is that him rubbing anything in her face? Where did you get that he is bringing anyone back to the apartment? OP I don't think she can kick you out without notice if you've been living there/getting mail there, but the property management certainly could since you are an unauthorized occupant. Why not just go now? Do you have somewhere else to go? Why in the hell are you already living with someone you've been unhappy with for 2.5 mos and only been dating 5???? Jesus! When did you move in? That is crazyness. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 yes she can take measures to have you removed . All thru legal venues. Sorry to read of the circumstances leading to this. I disagree with others here in packing up , you paid up til the end of july and as such you can reside there. Be adults and be amicable til the term ends. Whether in a relationship or not, a level of privacy and regard can be had. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) . Do things the right way and in the right order. Move out first and then date. Edited July 20, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 she said two weeks ago it was over and to "let her go". that sounds like SHE broke things off with HIM, not the other way around 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 ***yes she can take measures to have you removed . All thru legal venues.*** Sorry to read of the circumstances leading to this. I disagree with others here in packing up , you paid up til the end of july and as such you can reside there. Be adults and be amicable til the term ends. Whether in a relationship or not, a level of privacy and regard can be had. Yes she could but she won't. The eviction process takes a very long time and you will be long gone by the time she even files a complaint (unlawful detainer). Less than two weeks, right? Cancel date with new chick, get settled in new place, THEN start dating. My two cents. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Yes she could but she won't. The eviction process takes a very long time and you will be long gone by the time she even files a complaint (unlawful detainer). Less than two weeks, right? Cancel date with new chick, get settled in new place, THEN start dating. My two cents. Taking back my first paragraph. Since you are paid up thru end of July, she has no grounds to evict you. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Her name is on the lease, but I've paid her up until the end of July. She went through my messages and found out I'm going on a date on Monday. I'm not sure if she's angry I didn't want to reconcile after I move out, or that I've moved on first, but she said two weeks ago it was over and to "let her go". We've only been together 5 months, and almost half that time I've been unhappy, so it shouldn't be a surprise. Can she legally kick me out? Probably. Too many variables to say for sure. Is this worth a legal fight that likely wouldn't be resolved until long past the date by which you are supposed to have moved out (and will cost $$ to pursue)? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 A few things I'd like to clear up: - She broke up with me over a month ago - I've paid her up until the end of July - I move in my own apartment on August 1st - We aren't intimate, haven't been for almost three weeks - She asked me to move on - She was still married when she dated and slept with her ex - I'm not rubbing it in her face, but I've been unhappy for a while I can understand if I was posting photos of the new lady and I, but I'm not. Ive been respectful while she calls me every name in the book. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You know how when you live with your mom and dad, even though you're an adult, and you pay them rent, there are still some things you just DON'T do, because it would be disrespectful and rude of you to do them? Well, this is along exactly the same lines. You're living with her, and under her roof. Get over it and behave decently. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 I don't think it's the same thing at all. When I lived with my parents, they were guardians. At this point my ex and I are closer to roommates. I'm not bringing the new girl around. I think she's overreacting or she still had feelings and this has thrown a wrench into her plans. She's been cold to me, why wouldn't I want to meet ppl who are actually fun and want to spend time with me? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 You're deliberately missing the point. Or are studiously avoiding it. What you are doing shows a complete lack of respect for your ex- and HER environment, and a completely selfish attitude, which indicates you care little or nothing about her, and only for how you feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) if he's paying rent, then it's his place too, until he vacates in 11 days. He's lived there long enough to have established legal residency. If he was just posting up and not paying anything, I'd see your point. He wasn't staying there for free and she already ended things. Ex's do not get to have a say so in how you conduct your life, especially if they aren't supporting you and you're paying to live there. Sounds like she broke up with OP, her plans didn't pan out and she hatched another plan to try to get OP back in the loop, except it failed when she went snooping and now, she's melting down because she can't have her way. Edited July 19, 2015 by kendahke 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 if he's paying rent, then it's his place too, until he vacates in 11 days. He's lived there long enough to have established legal residency. If he was just posting up and not paying anything, I'd see your point. He wasn't staying there for free and she already ended things. Ex's do not get to have a say so in how you conduct your life, especially if they aren't supporting you and you're paying to live there. Sounds like she broke up with OP, her plans didn't pan out and she hatched another plan to try to get OP back in the loop, except it failed when she went snooping and now, she's melting down because she can't have her way. Thank you. The first relevant reply post. It wasn't my intention to disrespect her, but shes been employing push/pull since Monday and I'm tired of it. I did what I thought would make me happy. Her feelings are a distant second. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 You're deliberately missing the point. Or are studiously avoiding it. What you are doing shows a complete lack of respect for your ex- and HER environment, and a completely selfish attitude, which indicates you care little or nothing about her, and only for how you feel. Why do I have to respect her? She lost that right when she ended things. I've been polite and civil, but I'm not going to stop being social because it'll hurt her feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 She had no right to snoop on his phone as they are over and he's a free agent. What was she looking for anyway? She asked him to move on and he's doing just that. At the very least , she should reimburse him what he's paid for the remaining time, if she wants him out. OP - do not move in with a girl so quickly next time. You barely knew her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted July 19, 2015 Author Share Posted July 19, 2015 (edited) She had no right to snoop on his phone as they are over and he's a free agent. What was she looking for anyway? She asked him to move on and he's doing just that. At the very least , she should reimburse him what he's paid for the remaining time, if she wants him out. OP - do not move in with a girl so quickly next time. You barely knew her. 10-4 chief. I would also like to point out again that she was still with her ex husband (married, not separated) when she cheated on him with her ex. I haven't done anything even remotely close to that. She broke up with me, almost a month ago and someone I'm interested in wants to go for dinner. Why should I postpone that because I still live with her? She looked at my messages. This is resolved. The question now is, why is she so mad? She's teaming up with her sister now too, who I've always been on very good terms with. She's taking my exes side and has threatened that if I'm not civil, her family will get involved. Edited July 19, 2015 by CalvinM 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 The owner of the property is usually the only person entiltled to evict. At least in the UK. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 There is no proof she snooped on his phone at all. My ex asked me tonight if I wanted to go clean out the storage (she had plans with friends, but it was moved to Sunday), I assumed she wasn't free, so I switched my days off (Sat in for Sun/Mon off so I can go to a concert on Sun and dinner on Mon). She asked if I was free Monday, and I said "I have plans". She asked if it was a date and it was clear to me she'd been either reading my texts or put two and two together. My guess is she put two and two together, it is hardly a huge leap for anyone to make... Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 10-4 chief. I would also like to point out again that she was still with her ex husband (married, not separated) when she cheated on him with her ex. I haven't done anything even remotely close to that. She broke up with me, almost a month ago and someone I'm interested in wants to go for dinner. Why should I postpone that because I still live with her? She looked at my messages. This is resolved. The question now is, why is she so mad? She's teaming up with her sister now too, who I've always been on very good terms with. She's taking my exes side and has threatened that if I'm not civil, her family will get involved. It's sounding like a lot of hassle, but from a moral POV she should give you the money back. Tell her you can see about staying somewhere if she gives you what you've paid. I don't see you've done wrong but I personally like a stress free life and she sounds unpredictable. That would be my fear , if I were you. She should be reasonable about this and expecting you to leave just like that is being unreasonable. Does she know you're leaving at the month end? I honestly don't know why it's bothering her. She's likely jealous you're not pining over her and she's got a bruised ego. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts