A cute girl complimented me...can this be real and now what? do i need therapy??

[wonderwall]

Well this is my first post on here. Glad I found this place. Hello everyone.

 

My story is sort of long and complex maybe bizarre to some. I am 25 years old. Never had a girlfriend in my life. Never kissed a girl or even held hands. Hell the only person who ever kissed me was my dad when I was a kid. I guess im lucky to have that

 

The closest I came was way back in high school. I asked 2 girls out in high school. One politely said no, the other said I wasn’t attractive when I asked for a reason. I cried .

 

I was a real mess. Had bad acne and self esteem issues. My friends would get complimented by girls all the time or I would over hear. So from that point on for better or worse I started believing maybe I wasn’t meant to be with someone.

 

no worries though. I mean I thought someone has to become priests and monks right? I I am fairly religious .Maybe there was divine intervention going on.

 

Then I started losing my hair in college. All my Bald dad and uncles set me up bad . My dad even warned me to expect it. Wouldn’t have been so bad. Except I was 15 when he did!

 

SO I just sucked it up and shaved my head at 20. Now I was fairly certain any chance of getting a girl was done. My nick name in college was “monk” cause people thought I looked like one. Yah that really helped my self esteem

 

Anyways I really started to think maybe the priesthood was meant for me. I liked certain aspects bout it

 

Since high school I never really looked at girls in a sexual way anymore. I mean whenever I talk to girls I just look into their eyes. Of course it is impossible to not notice when a girl is cute. But thats where it ends for me. It really just became not worthy of anything more. I only talked to girls in a professional way or when we had to work on some project or something. And the opposite seems true as well

 

Fast forward 4 years and im in medical school right now-- 3rd year. Sort of a detour to priesthood I guess. Too many long lonely hours on sat nights did help the grades. My priest convinced me I should go to med school and only then consider the priesthood.

 

So I am going on the usual way until I start my pediatric rotation. I had been forewarned by my buddies that the nurses there were “very attractive”. No worries to me. I mean there are a hundred good looking docs in this hospital. Well here I am 2 days ago checking labs for a patient.

 

 

I over hear one of these attractive nurses say, "where is that cute med student I just saw him”. I looked around to see who she was talkin about. I mean it couldn't be me right.

 

Well Then she finds me and says “oh there u are”. I pretended like i didn’t hear what she said. And we just talked about the patient. I am lucky I was even able to speak. My heart was in my throat.

 

I know to some this is prolly no big deal to most guys here. But this was the first time I have ever been complimented . But that last 2 days I dunno what to think. Part of me wants to find out more about her. Then part of me really doesn’t.

 

 

---I mean maybe she only likes me cause I’m in med school? Is that possible and is that right or wrong? Is someone being attracted to you because of what u do or how much u make different from being attracted to what u look like? I would rather the latter. But how would I ever know? What if I decide for the priesthood. Then what would she think.

 

–how often do guys here get complimented by women and how often do girls compliment someone.. Should I take this seriously or just forget about it.

 

—I asked my best friend. He says high school messed me up and I need therapy!!!! What do u people think? Maybe I should choose psychiatry for a residency

[Marshbear]

You have some major self-esteem problems. You need to lighten up and have fun. You can't let what some girl said in HS end your quest for sexual experience and marriage. Who is she to tell you you are not attractive? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really believe there is someone for everyone. You may have to lower your standards until you raise your self-esteem. Find a homely girl and ask her out. This will build up your self-esteem.

As to the nurse, there is only one way to find out; flirt with her. Let her know you think she's cute also. see where it leads. What do you have to lose but maybe a like in the mission?

 

Be bold....

[sunlight]

One of the guys I had dated for a long time, had self esteem issues in the looks department. Some girls thought he was ugly, others thought he was hot. I obviously thought he was hot. Since he also was told he wasnt that good looking, he always thought himself as avg. In my eyes, I was too busy drooling, and falling over myself to be with him. He never really understood why I thought of him the way I did, and that started even bothering me. Cause then the whole jealousy thing sorta happens, because if one feels inadaquate and all. bla bla bla..

Yes go get some counselling, some long over due self esteem, and get the hell out there boy. For every 5 girls out there that turn a guy down, one will go home with him. Lol. not sure if that is true. But I read it somewhere.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

my boyfriend shaves his head (what's left on it) and says he's been like that since he was 20. (he's 40)

 

he always says "I can't wait til tomorrow....cuz I get better lookin every day"

 

And know what? he really does! we all do! You see yourself in the mirror every day, so you won't notice the maturity that transforms you from a gangly pimply teenager into a man into the great catch that you are. I was a geek at 20, and can't wait to turn 40 cuz I'm hot and sexy and way better looking for 40 than I was for 20!

 

And it's not about the looks, it's more about how you carry yourself, your brains, how you treat people, and then all the other things that determine the type of partner you'll end up with like your level of confidence, your hobbies, your sense of humor and the list goes on and on.

[BrotherAaron]

Dude, you sound like you think you're frankenstein.

 

I recommend therapy... or something. The only reason you haven't gotten any girls is because you don't think you can, and somebody's gotta slap some sense into you, or you're gonna be caught in this forever.

 

And, yes, you probably have a chance with that nurse, (talk about typical male fantasy come true)... she said you were cute, and if she thinks so, she's not the only one . Your problems are all in your head, so go get em sorted out.

 

Seriously... considering priesthood because you thought you couldn't get girls?? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.

[joel]

i am exactly like you wonder wall but 24 and aisan male and i have hair ,but not in med school, not sure why but it does suck so much

[reservoirdog1]

You've been handed your opportunity dude. And no, she probably wouldn't have referred to you as "cute" unless she thought you were. A med student who's ugly as sin won't get nurses calling him "cute" just because he's a med student. Which means you must be okay looking.

 

So, now you play it up a bit. Talk to her when the moment arises. Don't come on too strong at first... and don't JUST talk about work. And after a bit of time doing this (not too much time, though), try to work in something similar to what she said: "hi there. I was just thinking, 'where's that beautiful nurse ____', and here you are." Then not too long after that, you ask her out for a drink after work to unwind. The rest is up to you.

 

And, yes... a hot nurse is a wonderful thing. Dating one right now. Day-um.