GalWithNiceGuyFriend Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 I need some advice on this. A bit of key notes: He is 4 years younger than me (32-33 and 28-29). Known him for almost 9 yrs. Different cultural backgrounds.Different races. Worked together in the past (that's how we met). We don't hang out all the time, but he has always helped me here and there (moving etc). We hug sometimes and talk about past failed 'relationships' (I have never really been in any myself) but we never have sexual topics. Recently I have been going through some stuff. He has been supportive and encouraging and we went for lunch to just talk. He told me he has broken up with his on and off girlfriend (I have met her. Nice girl I think but I don't know her well). So a few days after lunch, for the first time he invited me to his place. He had moved so it was sort of like seeing his new house. We talked more, checked out music, photos etc. No sexual stuff. Just laughter and life topics. And, now, he is coming over to my place for lunch or dinner sometime soon (this is a casual invite I made when I got back home that night and said 'thank you for today.' He immediately said yes, very enthusiastically). After the invite, I somehow started thinking about this seriously. Should I have done that? Now I'm starting to think about it differently. The hugs, the way he looks at me (now it's all sexy to me, after all this time). However I must say 3 different people at different times have in the past mistaken us to be couple. With the latest one saying to me "You should go out, you two". Am I sinking in love or lust with my longtime 'just some friend'? I have always dismissed this guy as 'too young' but now I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I must admit we do have a lot in common but I'm careful not to stuff things up. What I can't imagine is losing him if something happens and we stop talking completely. Has anyone else been in this position? And, from a guy's perspective, do you think he might be thinking this stuff too. Maybe he is just being nice? He is a nice guy after all. Can men and women just be friends? Your thoughts, please. I am not a saint but I am the average nice girl...I have no thoughts about hurting anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
nouedis Posted July 19, 2015 Share Posted July 19, 2015 Honestly, I feel like he does like you. Maybe he has for quite a while and you were just oblivious to it and maybe he denied it, too. Who knows. Point being, now, at that, is that you two are single, he's very caring and helpful and the chemistry is there. Intimacy is the quickest way to lose someone in a heartbeat, because of jealousy and deceit and arguments and so on so forth. He probably is thinking about it, or else he wouldn't have invited you over and vice versa. I say take a stab at this, but be gentle with the approach. Just because y'all have chemistry doesn't necessarily mean it'll work out. The reason I say that is because I'm in a position with this chick who's 3 years younger than me, and I've known her since she was 15 & I 17. She's 19 now and I 21 going to 22 next month. Anyway, I had a big thing for her back then and she did, too. She flirted with me while she had a boyfriend and I didn't even know it until we recently started dating - keep in mind that when we flirted, we were both young. It just bothers me that if she did that at that young age, will she end up doing it again but to me this time behind my back? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GalWithNiceGuyFriend Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Thanks, Nouedis. At least you two flirted. We have never flirted. In fact we always discuss our feelings towards other people. Is this a bad sign? We only hug. I don't know how to approach this. I have been thinking about him a lot lately. What do you think about the idea of cooking for him. Will he see it differently? Link to post Share on other sites
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