its old

[robin]

recently, i propositioned my boyfriend......that we should be celebute, why? because we have been having sex since the beginning of our relationship and we have done everything possible. My main problem is that he is closed off, emotionally. i am not and sex to me, when you are in a relationship is a downpour of emotion and feeling. so we are not accomplishing anything but physical elation, which is wonderful but its old. any real suggestions??????

 

No psychotherapy b/s please

[Tony T]

So, you remain celebate until you get married. Then you start having sex and the same thing happens.

 

If this dude is emotionally inhibited, that means he was either raised that way or he is naturally that way. Many men are just not expressive emotionally, although they do feel emotions. It's not likely things will get better...it's very difficult to talk somebody into becomming more expressive on a permanent basis.

 

Sometimes, in the beginning, men are expressive because they sort of have to be that way to win their lady. But once that happens, they go back to being themselves. I think this is what happened. That doesn't make him a bad person...he is just the way he is.

 

Go find a guy you don't have to change. Why would you ever want a guy who has closed off to you emotionally and won't seek help?

 

I am assuming you have talked to him calmly and explained this to him in vivid detail. Men who are this way just don't change, unless they go through some trauma that wakes up their emotional side.

 

It seems he needs a different girl, too. I mean you feel you have had sex every way possible and you're tired of it. He needs to find a lady who is hot to trot and doesn't tire of sex. His needs are obviously mostly sexual and yours combine sexual and emotional...which is the ideal.

 

You deserve to have someone who will make you feel special and couple his feelings with the act of making love.

[robin]

So, you remain celebate until you get married. Then you start having sex and the same thing happens.

 

If this dude is emotionally inhibited, that means he was either raised that way or he is naturally that way. Many men are just not expressive emotionally, although they do feel emotions. It's not likely things will get better...it's very difficult to talk somebody into becomming more expressive on a permanent basis. Sometimes, in the beginning, men are expressive because they sort of have to be that way to win their lady. But once that happens, they go back to being themselves. I think this is what happened. That doesn't make him a bad person...he is just the way he is. Go find a guy you don't have to change. Why would you ever want a guy who has closed off to you emotionally and won't seek help? I am assuming you have talked to him calmly and explained this to him in vivid detail. Men who are this way just don't change, unless they go through some trauma that wakes up their emotional side. It seems he needs a different girl, too. I mean you feel you have had sex every way possible and you're tired of it. He needs to find a lady who is hot to trot and doesn't tire of sex. His needs are obviously mostly sexual and yours combine sexual and emotional...which is the ideal. You deserve to have someone who will make you feel special and couple his feelings with the act of making love. Thanx you said some good things. although somewhere in my mind i know all that, but a girl gets frustrated sometimes. So thank you for reminding me. I do not in any way, shape, or form, want to change this man. He is the most wonderful man i have ever dated. After posting yesterday, we had a talk and i realized that he is willing and trying to be what i need he just needs to find out what that is (at any given time) and honestly i feel a bit foolish and whiney. he makes me feel special everyday of my life.