XNemesisX Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 So right now I am hiding because my friend has shown up unannounced AGAIN. He's knocking on my door *cough* I mean pounding on it as I speak actually. He doesn't call until he is literally outside my door. Is it just me or is this extremely rude? I prefer to be the one to invite someone over not the other way around. All he does is invite himself over! And it's not like he just lives across town either. He lives in ANOTHER STATE and will drive to my place and show up unannounced/no phone call or nothin until after the fact that he is here. Usually I will answer the door and he will stay for days sometimes. This time I am not answering it at all. But it sucks because I was wanting to clean house today and if I do that I will have to walk around and he will see me. Now I am stuck upstairs right now HIDING OUT! Do you think he will get the hint or no? And by the way I have already told him before not to do this to me and it never registers with him. Am I being mean to not answer the door or the phone this time? I'm not ready for company right now and my place is a wreck. He just barges in on me !I have had enough of this! Link to post Share on other sites
Author XNemesisX Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 Maybe this should be in the rants section! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Nemesis, just tell him you don't want to see him anymore. End of Story! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 I think If you've told him how you feel about him coming unannounced and without an invitation then he gets whatever coming to him for continuing to do so.... You're not obligated to answer your door, or invite him in... you didn't invite him. Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Yeah that's not cool at all...But I would be careful he might be obsessed with you and have this secret love affair in his crazy a$$ head...Some men are sick like that. You should call someone to check up on you every now and then...Have someone drive by your house to make sure he's not stalking you...Wow, what a scary situation...I would be freaking out and with my anal retentive a$$ he definitely wouldn't come into my crib if it was dirty... If you talked to him already and he doesn't get the point...Theirs nothing else to do but get angry and ignore him...If he doesn't change or ease up you might need to go further like maybe a restraining order...Yikes!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author XNemesisX Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 Ok he is knocking on my door AGAIN!! I thought he had left already but now he's baaaack! Confused that wouldn't sound right if I said that because I am not dating this guy and I have never dated him. He has only been a friend. I can't just say "I don't want to see you anymore" that would sound retarded! And it's not just end of story...do you think it is that simple??!?! I can't be mean like that to people I am friends with this it's not some ex-boyfriend! I feel like screaming at him right now. I can't believe he is STILL knocking does he not get the hint?!?!? F----!!! Yeah that's not cool at all...But I would be careful he might be obsessed with you and have this secret love affair in his crazy a$$ head...Some men are sick like that. NSN he is either a weirdo or he is a real moron! I used to think he was such a great friend but this behavior is just SO strange. I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own place right now. If he doesn't quit pounding on my door I don't know what I'm going to do....this is pissing me off so bad right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 Do you have someone that can come over and maybe be there with you??? It's pretty scary...OR maybe he needs to talk to you seriously about something and what if he knows you're their??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author XNemesisX Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 I'm starting to think he HAS to know I am here. Especially since I just got so mad right now that I answered the phone then hung it up...I did this THREE TIMES! I just don't have the patience for this right now. My place is so freakin nasty right now too and I haven't even showered yet today! I can't have company over! And I checked my voicemail and he didn't act like it was anything serious to tell me just said about 5 times in 5 different voicemails "hey I'm outside your apartment open the door!!!!!!!!!" Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 I checked my voicemail and he didn't act like it was anything serious to tell me just said about 5 times in 5 different voicemails "hey I'm outside your apartment open the door!!!!!!!!!" Good luck, NEMESIS...you've got a phsyco in your front door!! Open the door and tell him "find a hotel and come back another day...I'm tired, need to clean and I don't want you here right now..you should have called BEFORE coming"....and close the door...Eventually he'll get tired of knocking and standing their Link to post Share on other sites
Author XNemesisX Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 I think I will seriously do that..right now. He is STILL knocking. My neighbors aren't going to know what to think about this. This is scaring me very bad right now. I want to just ignore him instead of having to say something to him but it doesn't look like he's going to leave unless I do... arghh.... Link to post Share on other sites
FolderWife Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 1. Just start cleaning and ignore him. 2. Just take a bath and ignore him. 3. After you've completed 1 and 2, walk out THE BACK DOOR and go to your car. If he confronts you, say, "I was just going out." Then go grab something to eat and come home. 4. If 1, 2, and 3 don't work call the police. Tell them you're a concerned neighbor, and some freak is knocking on your neighbors' door. Um One time I was trying on lingerie for my husband. Then he decided to start taking pictures of me in my sexy stuff. In one picture, he wanted to snap it of me without any panties. I refused. He got a little pushy, and I yelled at him. Then he yelled at me for over reacting. Totally ruined the mood. So I decided to go to the park for a walk. On the way home I passed my parents car!!! I live two hours away from them. I pulled into the garage, and closed the door. My husband told me they rang the doorbell, but he didn't answer, because HELLO, there was sexy lacy underwear ALL OVER OUR HOUSE!!!!!! So I started cleaning up. I glanced out the window to see them driving by. They didn't stop again. Ok, there was underwear all over my house...I don't want my mom and dad to see that!!! My husband and I had just had a little tiff, and weren't in the mood for company. But I love my parents, and they'd driven two hours to see me...but they didn't call So lesson learned...never ever ever show up unannounced at ANYONE'S home...EVER! I mean...how often is there underwear in every room of the house? Link to post Share on other sites
Author XNemesisX Posted May 4, 2005 Author Share Posted May 4, 2005 That was the funniest story...and you have some good points. LOL this reminds me of one time.... My boyfriend and I had just got done doing a little somethin and we heard someone knock on the door. Well, my ex thought it was this friend of ours and I told him not to answer but he did anyway...umm yeah it was my parents. He was standing there sweaty and in boxer shorts. I ran upstairs and put something better on but I KNOW they knew what was going on. And..they didn't even come in after they saw him. They just turned around on their heels and left and they had made a 90 minute drive! I feel like chicken shyt right now. I should just go about my business like you said but I am so timid sometimes! I know he will get angry and start a scene. Maybe I should just say to hell with it though and clean and do the things I was planning on doing. I shouldn't have to be done like this...ugh. Okay I keep thinking about the panties everywhere! Actually, if he was to come in right now he would be replused. There are mountains of garbage everywhere. I have really never had this place this messy. I have even been so lazy that I have just cleaned the litter box and I put the poop in a plastic bag and I have just been leaving the bags o poo everywhere in the floor and in the kitchen instead of taking the bag directly to the dumpster like I usually do. This place *literally* smells like shyt right now. No way in heck anyone is coming in here right now!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author XNemesisX Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 I just ignored him until he left and then I took off. I feel kinda mean right now but it was just rude of him to do that to me. I just checked my voicemails today and he left this really sad sounding message: Hey Brooke. Guess you didn't want to see me. I'm going back home. Bye. Is it stupid of me to feel mean right now??? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX I just ignored him until he left and then I took off. I feel kinda mean right now but it was just rude of him to do that to me. I just checked my voicemails today and he left this really sad sounding message: Hey Brooke. Guess you didn't want to see me. I'm going back home. Bye. Is it stupid of me to feel mean right now??? Next time you talk to this Guy (if you talk to him again ha!) Tell him you got his VM and you have zero idea what he's talking about.. He never TOLD you or ASKED you IF he could come over and you had no idea he would be there.. THEN tell him this is exactly why you've told him in the past IF he wants to get together he NEEDS to call FIRST. Don't feel bad girl.. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Hey Brooke. Guess you didn't want to see me. I'm going back home. Bye. My response to that would have been..."Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but that is what you get for travelling all this way and ASSUMING that a)I'd be home, b)up for company, c)If you want to drop in, CALL first, otherwise you deal with the consquences of coming out here and wasting your time. Show some respect and common sense!" Geez, it's pretty self righteous of him to think that just cuz he's dropping in, you abandon everything you're doing cuz he's there. SELFISH!!! RUDE!!! It would be different if he lived close by, (well, maybe not cuz then he'd be at your day all the time) if you weren't home then he'd do something else or find somebody else to hang out with. Draw the lines in the sand, set boundries with this guy - Don't let him cross the line. If all else fails tell him to go down to McDonalds, buy a BigMac and masterbate to it! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Don't feel bad, Nem. You did the good thing. Good for you for hiding long enoung, I don't have the patience ! Leave him a message telling him how rude he is for doing this to you. don't explain your behaviour. Emphasise his being sort of a stalkerish jerk, it always works, he he! Link to post Share on other sites
Author XNemesisX Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Thanks guys...I am starting to not feel like such an arse for ignoring him. I mean, really HE is the one being rude so why have I been feeling so bad about his little sad VM he left me? Ugh. I still haven't call him back. He has called several times since and I just ignored the calls altogether. I'm starting to wonder if I even want to maintain this friendship. I really don't think this guy has any common sense. Also, the last time he came in and I DID let him in he stayed for several days and wouldn't understand that I had other things to do. I told him explicitly that I had things to do and projects to get finished by a certain deadline and guess what his reponse was "Well glad to see how much it means to you that I drive 3 hours to see you. I'm sure you could get that stuff done after I leave!" WTF He gets angry and hostile if I don't do what he wants me to do. I have had enough of this. I'm getting ready to move in a few weeks and I'm thinking of just not telling him where I'm moving to and changing my number. Maybe this sounds extreme but I just don't feel like he is much of a friend. It's never enough for him. He really does expect me to drop EVERYTHING when he gets the wild hair to drive to my place. I feel like just saying "forget it" and maybe I won't even give him an explanation at all.... Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Nem... I see that you have a hard time imposing your will to other people. Force yourself to and make exercises to learn yourself to stand up more. First excercise: call your "friend" and tell him what you've told us. That even if he used to be a very close friend of yours, he's too impulsive and inconsiderate towards you. Tell him that he has to a. call if he wants to see you and b. ask you when you're available if he feels like seeing you. And that the only place you feel like socializing with him is over coffee in a restaurant, not at your place! See what he has to say for himself. I bet he'll be numbed by your reply! Don't continue to hide, Nem. Otherwise everyone will take advantage of you !!! Nem's a good girl !!! Link to post Share on other sites
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