TaraMaiden2 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Sounds like you want to expose due to your bitterness and selfishness. That being said, the OMs wife deserves to know. I believe you should expose and walk away forever. How many times does she have to say that she has no intention of exposing? Jeesh, read the damn thread....! Link to post Share on other sites
World's.Edge Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) ... I got, nothing. It still really shocks me that people are this horrible and live years being so thoroughly awful to the people in their lives. I mean, how can you be okay being involved with someone who treats his wife the way that he has, and the same for him with you and your (now ex) husband? How can your behaviour not bother you? I can't imagine how I'd feel if a person who's as morally devoid and foul as either of you was interested in me, I'd feel like there was something wrong in me to attract that kind of character. Also, he has no issue being deceptive and lying to his wife so what makes you think that he would with you? He doesn't want to leave his marriage because it's not as awful and sexless as he syays. If the affair were to be known, he'd grovel to his wife and try to save his marriage. She likely trusts her husband so doesn't suspect he's been unfaithful. Or more realistically he gas-lights and makes her think that she's paranoid and crazy if she suspects him, either getting mad or has an "explanation"/lie ready for her if she raises any concerns or suspicions. I feel that you should tell her about the affair, no question in my mind. That way you two "lovers" can finally be together and be contained to each other. Edited July 21, 2015 by World's.Edge 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fllygirl Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 and i honestly think he has someone new. Why do you think he has someone new? Link to post Share on other sites
mysterywoman Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 i think his W knows and doesn't care -- it does happen... many BS out there who CHOOSE to look the other way for this or that reason. maybe he had convinced her that it was over & minimized the entire situation... who knows. i highly doubt that she had never noticed absolutely anything. and i honestly think he has someone new. Why are you stirring the pot when you have no idea.... Link to post Share on other sites
mysterywoman Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Why do you think he has someone new? She doesn't know...It's called stirring the pot... Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Lady having read your OP I have to say this. Firstly, this person is Not your soulmate. Whatever he has been promising you is just so much hot air. He is a person who is a classic case of someone who has his cake and is eating it too. He has managed to get you to divorce your husband while he continues to enjoy his own family life. He has two devoted women at his beck and call so what more can he want. I am certain his relationship with his wife is just fine which is why he is not thinking of divorcing her. In her case you never know whether they have an agreement to have an open marriage. Both of them get to play outside of their marriage while maintaining a good and happy home front. If anything the guy needs to be given the Royal Boot and you should be moving on with your life. Secondly, what you have done is a very selfish thing. By having an affair you have hurt both your ex husband and your daughter, all for the sake for meeting some selfish needs of your own. As per what you mentioned in your post even before your affair you were unhappy in your marriage. That was the point of time you should have divorced him and moved on. Thirdly, you are allowing the OM to control your life even now after you have lost so much as compared to his having not lost a thing. You should move far away enough from him so that he cannot contact you easily and then start your life anew. Find someone who can make you happy maybe even your ex husband if both of you think you can make it work this time around. However before that you should actually truly apologize to your ex husband for all the hurt and suffering that you caused him. Wish you the very best in the future but you have to shape it from here on. Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Hi miumiuboo I've just read your post, and most of the thread and find myself almost in tears. You've been through such a lot and I really feel for you. I want to send you a little hug! So here it is: - *****hug***** In a very dark place myself, about 1.5 years into my 'situation', I too have just joined this forum looking to share my story and maybe get some advice. I will post my story soon, but in the meantime, I am reading what others had to say and your story really did affect me, and has served as a warning for me to get on the right path now and not let things proceed as they are now for years. By coming here, you have shown that you really want to do the right thing and escape from your horrible situation. I wish you well and I am sure that you will be happy one day, hopefully soon. I can see that you feel very bad about what has happened. With hindsight, decisions we made in the past can seem obviously wrong, but the fact is we are human beings, prone to error. We are not necessarily bad people, but through our flaws and our insecurities and weaknesses, we can sometimes do wrong things that end up having serious consequences. I'm sure this holds for most people on this forum. You can turn it round. You will have learned so much about yourself and about life in general from this experience. I wish you all the very best. J 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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