BEL_BEL Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 (edited) I was major party girl, going out free and single knowing I could do whatever I wanted and talk to whoever I wanted until I met someone and was in an honest strong relationship for 10 months.(my first relationship) I cheated on him during the first 2 weeks of us been officially together, this was on my first night out without him. I was honest about what I did and told him straight away promising that I wouldn't do it again (the truth) he forgave me and we moved forwards, from then on everything was perfect I never batted an eye lid to anyone else when on nights out as my feelings for him grew stronger and stronger. He broke up with me after 10 months because his feelings had changed. Days later he was seeing his ex girlfriend. after a few weeks it didn't work out with them, they came to a mutual decision but I know that she instigated it, so in theory he had no choice. He made an impulse decision when he left me and claims he has thought long and hard about what he wants and he says that is me, he says he has made a big mistake and he still has feelings for me. I have been seeing him over the last few weeks, nothing feels like its changed between us and I still have feelings for him. Should I take him back and give him a second chance like he did with me at the beginning? Edited July 20, 2015 by BEL_BEL Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 No. You cheated but it meant nothing. He went back to his ex, and was ultimately rejected. He came back to you because you were second option, not first priority. ("Oh well, that didn't work. I'll go back to her, at least I still have THAT option"...) No. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 nope. I've gone back to various exes for various reasons and always ended up regretting it. you cannot compare the 2 situations, you cannot compare a RS of 2 weeks with one of 10 months. You've also never left him and you've also not gone to try out a proper RS with the man you had slept with. you ex properly dumped and went all in with his ex - emotionally and sexually. He seems to like going back to exes... start fresh, you're better off, on the long run. you are emotionally involved and will continue to invest in a losing deal. Withdraw and regroup 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 The circumstances make me question whether he really wants to be with you and I am inclined to say no. He was forced into the position he is now (being single) and he may be using you as a crutch to get over his other ex gf. I would be skeptical of his motives- I think that once he feels better or his ex wants him back, he will be gone with the wind. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Morphine Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Take some time of. Be friends with him. If you guys trully love each other you will be together. But because BOTH ogf you kinda cheated on each other, this "love" that you are talking about may not be love afterall. Only time will tell. Do not cross it off for ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Gus Grimly Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 He made an impulse decision when he left me and claims he has thought long and hard about what he wants and he says that is me, he says he has made a big mistake and he still has feelings for me. Give me a break. That's such a crock. How about he thinks long and hard BEFORE tossing you aside for someone else, not after. Of course he made a big mistake because he's an A**h***! You did cheat on him which was not cool at all. But he did blindly let you go without giving any thought to your feelings. Having been cheated on myself and dropped for another guy I know both perspectives. I feel you both need a lot of work in the relationship department and should probably move on. It's gonna be easier for you both. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BEL_BEL Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Give me a break. That's such a crock. How about he thinks long and hard BEFORE tossing you aside for someone else, not after. Of course he made a big mistake because he's an A**h***! You did cheat on him which was not cool at all. But he did blindly let you go without giving any thought to your feelings. Having been cheated on myself and dropped for another guy I know both perspectives. I feel you both need a lot of work in the relationship department and should probably move on. It's gonna be easier for you both. Regardless of him claiming he 'never knew what he had until he lost it'... ? I am 20 years old and think this is the biggest I have had to make so I'm dreading the upcoming ones as life goes on lol Finding this all very difficult, if I could go back I would never of acknowledged his social media requests! He's had it far to easy, thank you for the advice! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 BEL_BEL, take a look at this article.... It may go towards explaining HIS behaviour, and maybe your uncertainty. Bear in mind that in some spheres of the brain/mental workings, ladies mature faster than guys. This is one area where you win hands down (although other zones are not as fast, in female brains, to get their act together! ) I think in this instant, you're more 'growed up' than he is.... But things will get easier! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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