purple21 Posted May 4, 2005 Share Posted May 4, 2005 ok - just need to get this off of my chest and i guess it means more if I write it out here i am no longer wasting any of my precious energy with these guys in which things aren't going anywhere - i'll be friends but i'm no longer hoping so to say. i know that it is common sense but it has been hard for me to do in these 2 situations - one was a hookup from work which I hear from once in awhile - last time told me all these problems he is going through - acts all happy to be with me and opens up and then disappears for a few weeks. The other is the online friend who we met in person once had a great time and then put on the breaks relationship wise but still contacts me almost daily. blah yeah so they both like me as a friend or have other issues to deal with but i guess i think i'm in the situation in which I wanted more out of both situations and hoping things would change - especially when something more happened even if very short-lived. This has been going on for months now and isn't cool. So yeah - I've finally come to the point where I realize I deserve more than that and i'm being foolish wasting any more energy on these guys. Yeah - I'll still be friendly because I'm a nice person but lets say i put my own brakes on as well relationship wise. I know that's how it should've been in the first place but you know. But I won't be that way any longer - i need a real man - lol. Link to post Share on other sites
clynn Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 good for you! Did you tell them so? Will you stop responding to them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 Thanks - well it's a little harder than I thought but I can do it. I have this bad habit of overthinking things and blaming myself when things don't work out - when all and all things don't work out all the time and it's not completely my fault or at all - just bad timing or it's not right. So no I'm not making some big announcement to either guy - it's just more of a change of thinking on my part. Getting rid of that thought that maybe something will happen in the future or thinking about what could have been. I just have a lot of other stuff going on in my life right now and I don't have the time or energy to be getting down about the 2 situations, that don't really call for it. I'm not going to stop responding all together - I do like them as friends. For the guy that is going through a lot of problems, I will be around if he needs to talk to someone but he'll have to contact me but I won't come running over there every few weeks when he is lonely or whatever. For the guy that is contacting me all the time, I'm just gonna be less available, won't always be signed into my AIM or respond to all emails. I don't even talk to my girlfriends every single day. Just getting my head on straight is all. I need to be available to meet that person that will treat me like I should be treated Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 ha got im from im guy - i just had a few brief responses and said oh well gotta go - hehe go me go me - yeah i'm a bit of a freak - but that is what some people like about me - lol Link to post Share on other sites
Three of Swords Posted May 5, 2005 Share Posted May 5, 2005 Way to go Purple - I could learn from ya. Do you do mentoring? Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 hehe - yeah sure well you might wanna wait - it has only been a day - lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 5, 2005 Author Share Posted May 5, 2005 Arg - help me please I can't stop having thoughts about text guy - the guy with the problems is text guy and the other guy is IM guy - because that is way I hear from them - (what the crap is that anyways) I have a feeling because my contact with him is so erratic and when I do hear from him he opens up to me with all these problems he is having (along with having a great time together). When we do hang out we spend hours talking about things and laughing about things. Then a few days later he closes up for a few weeks. I just want to say stop letting me in and then pushing me away. I can't help but wondering what is going on in his life and decisions he has made about things. I just want to see him or at least hear from him - it's driving me crazy. Why do I care? What's the deal? Damn I need a smoke (good thing I don't have any $ to buy smokes right now and ruin the whole quitting thing) Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 ok - I'm having a thread by myself - lol yeah for me - made plans for the entire weekend - I'll be too busy to think of those jokers - ha Link to post Share on other sites
clynn Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 congrats, good on you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 thanks - hopefully I'll have the same mindset when I get home and over the weekend - that's when I lose it - grrr Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Way to go Purple... I swear you and I were cut from the same mold...hee hee I read what you write and I feel like I wrote it.. You are definetly doing the right thing...hang tough it will get easier and you will get to a point where they can contact you and you can just be friends..I have done that with the similar situation I had, he and I have emailed and spoken a couple times...I am very happy to still hold his friendship as he's a great guy...but I was also able to move on with my life and find a new guy that is head over heels for me as I am for him... You go girl...LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 thanks skeered - glad i'm not the only one yeah i'm pretty confident about it today however no matter how i feel this weekend or even next week i really have to use all will power to not think about it or do anything - i'll get over it eventually and that's the only way - just need to freakin chill sometimes then yeah - then friendly and that's all Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple21 Posted May 9, 2005 Author Share Posted May 9, 2005 started new thread Link to post Share on other sites
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