Hold on Posted March 20, 2001 Share Posted March 20, 2001 Sorry in advance for the lenght. Just want to spell it all out. I have been dating for quite a while (2 1/2 years since I broke of a very, very long relationship.) I have been on so many first dates but don't go on many 2nd dates because I am usually not interested in them. Lack of humor, not attracted to them& I have been in a few relationships over the past two years (Usually lasting 3 months or so.) But I have yet to feel this weird "I really like this person felling" till now. I am very easy going, very kind and sensitive to others. (Nice guy, but not one of those to nice of a guy that I would allow anyone to take advantage of me.) I met someone about a month ago and we have gone out about 6 times. Our 3rd date two weeks ago lasted 13 hours. We both had a lot of fun. I like being around her and sharing time with her, and she has said the same. (Sounds OK there) But, I noticed that she really needs her space. I see her once a week (weekend date) and sometimes, like last night I stopped by her house for about 30 minutes for a hug. I called because I was near her house and she said to come by. She seems to be very touchy feely with me, holding my hand, wanting to lay on the couch with me (on me) when I came over, etc. (No, I have not slept with her out of respect to her. Usually I would be way past it but she seems to have been in short relationships that make her feel used and then end after sleeping with a guy.) I spent one night over at her house and she was surprised I wanted to stay over but she thinks we should hold off to do it again. (What the hell does that mean.) OK...The problem. She doesn't seem to want to spend a lot of time with me. She calls me, she is very caring and touchy to me when we go out, smile a lot around me and she actually looks me straight in the eye when she talks to me. She has told me that she is a little selfish about her time with herself. And she said she is telling me this because she likes me. (I know that she would not have me come over or go out with me if she did not want too.) She has gone on quite a few dates in the past but never past the third date. She hasn't dated someone since last May (3 months) and has not been in a long relationship (1 year) for about 3 years. I really like this woman and that freaks me out. I actually feel very vulnerable since she seems to have control and I for the first time have put myself out there waiting to be shot down. What to do? What is really going on? I understand space and independence quite well. But I also understand that when you want to be around someone or you like them, you want to spend time with them. There is going slow and then there is going too slow. Need help understanding and trying to get this crappy feeling out of my stomach. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 If this gal was really fond of you and eager to get to know you better, she would want to spend more time with you...I don't care how she is. It seems she likes you but not enough to make the effort to carve more time out for you. You'll win her heart only if you play her game and move on. Be around ladies who will want to be with you and will give you ample time to get to know them. This lady will find out and likely turnaround. My vote is for you to forget her. Why would you ever want to put the time and energy into pursuing someone who really isn't into you? How can you possibly get any kind of special feeling from her if she's not willing to invest more time being with you? Her dating history clearly states she will be a heartbreaker for you if you stick around. The reasons for her behavior aren't even worth speculating about. If you care about yourself at all, press the delete key on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
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