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How do I avoid making the same mistakes again?


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He just needs more time than most people. He is slower moving - can't imagine saying "I love you" or mentioning future , or discussing moving in together , at 14 months. A few months ago I tried to tell him I just need him and promise to stop caring about marriage bc I've changed. But he just says "I warned you if you kept bringing up the future I'd dump you. I'm past the point of no return. I'm not going back" but a month later he stayed on phone 1.5 hours on a Friday night. And in past I could always get him back eventually after enough crying. So please help me figure this out

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He just needs more time than most people. He is slower moving - can't imagine saying "I love you" or mentioning future , or discussing moving in together , at 14 months. A few months ago I tried to tell him I just need him and promise to stop caring about marriage bc I've changed. But he just says "I warned you if you kept bringing up the future I'd dump you. I'm past the point of no return. I'm not going back" but a month later he stayed on phone 1.5 hours on a Friday night. And in past I could always get him back eventually after enough crying. So please help me figure this out

 

I'm pretty sure if you keep repeating the exact same thing for 40 more pages, you'll definitely figure it out.

 

You don't listen to any advice, so why do you keep asking the same questions and telling the exact same story? It's over. He does not want you. Get therapy.

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I'm pretty sure if you keep repeating the exact same thing for 40 more pages, you'll definitely figure it out.

It is more than 40 pages as this is the THIRD thread exactly like this. This has now gone on for HUNDREDS of pages with the same questions, same advice, and no change.

 

You don't listen to any advice, so why do you keep asking the same questions and telling the exact same story? It's over. He does not want you. Get therapy.

Rams, why don't you explain to us why you aren't in therapy over this? Why do you keep asking the same question without ever implementing any of the advice given?

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So please help me figure this out

I have to admit that this question is getting annoying after having been answering this for over months. Please Rams tell me how I should have gotten my ex back? I am coming to the point that I feel like saying, just suck it up, sometimes life is like that (read unfair).

 

The last time I was with her I seriously had the feeling that any moment carama-men could jump towards us laughing and saying to me, hahaha, just kidding. But that did not happen. I had to suck it up. It is about time you do, this is your life, face it, he is gone.

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You don't listen to any advice, so why do you keep asking the same questions and telling the exact same story? It's over. He does not want you. Get therapy.

 

Because people keep earnestly responding to her for some reason.

 

I don't understand why people who have multiple accounts get their threads locked, but a thread that is north of 600 posts of literally the same thing over and over remains open.

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Because people keep earnestly responding to her for some reason.

 

I don't understand why people who have multiple accounts get their threads locked, but a thread that is north of 600 posts of literally the same thing over and over remains open.

Because Rams was in a abusive relationship. That lovely man of hers wasn't so lovely. And the one before him wasn't either. I think it is important to be there for her as I understand how it is being anxious. It it why a fourth of the 600 posts here is posted by me. I have tried to follow guidelines helping abused people, that tell to always be supportive what ever they do. But it is getting really tiresome as Rams keeps reverting back to post one. Perhaps a reminder for her, with him - at the time of post one - you weren't very happy either.

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